


Take the C Train

by FairweatherEden



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 'Language!' as Cap would say, Acceptance, Adam Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Boys Kissing, Cas Being Stubborn, Cas being Cas, Clothed Sex, Cockblocking!Adam, Cockblocking!Sam, College Student!Adam, Dean Being Dean, Dean Being an Idiot, Dean lashing out, Depressed Castiel, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Eventual Smut, Firefighter!Dean, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, I Add Tags As I Write, I NEED Pie, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Smut, Musician!Dean, My First Smut, NYC Subway, New York City, Road Trips, Sam Ships It, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sexy Times, Slow Burn, Smut, Stupid Idjits, Surprise Kissing, artist!castiel, destiel au, kink cameos, law student!sam, mention of past self-harm, mentions of drug use, teacher!Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 05:18:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 63,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4007350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairweatherEden/pseuds/FairweatherEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets ditched by Sam and has to take the train home. Based on a real life scenario where I saw two guys with a bass on the subway one Saturday night. </p><p>Here's the image: http://freckles-n-feathers.tumblr.com/post/119759845942/dedication</p><p>This is my first fic. It was meant to be a one-shot, but I've been asked to keep going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester hated turnstiles. He detested any narrow passageways. He avoided any subway entry without the emergency entrance like the plague. It was near 9pm on a Saturday night and Dean was just tired and wanted to head home. Unfortunately, he was carrying his standup bass with him, and therefore he found himself dragging the damned thing down the flight of stairs at Lafayette Street in Brooklyn. His rehearsal at the Brooklyn Academy of Music ran late this evening, and his brother Sam couldn’t pick him up in his truck. Instead, he was out with his new girlfriend Jess. “Figures he’d ditch me for a girl.” Dean grumbled to himself as he made it to the platform.

How his mother ever convinced him to take up the instrument, he still will never know, but he’s too far gone. He loves the damned thing. Just like he loves Sam. Just like he loves his Baby, the Impala. Just like he loves pie. He checked his watch and looks down the tunnel to see if there is a train coming soon.

He turns back and is suddenly caught by an flash of bright blue. There is a guy standing on the other side of his bass, looking at the instrument with his head cocked to one side. Dean was used to looks when he was forced to take the subway with the monstrosity, so he was kind of immune, but for once Dean stared at the person in question. He had dark hair that was mussed into what could only be best described as “sex hair”. He wore slightly disheveled suit with a blue tie, and a boxy trench coat that had seen better days. A small smile played on the guy's chapped lips.

Dean cleared his throat. “Evening.”

The stranger glanced up. Dean did all he could not to gasp. He thought the blue he saw was the guy’s tie, not his eyes. _Damn._ He thought to himself. The guy stared at Dean for another moment.

“I’d make a joke about overcompensation, but in reality, the dedication to drag this thing on the subway, leaves me with a great deal of respect for you rather than anything.” The man said evenly.

If his eyes weren’t enough to make Dean go slack jawed, the guy’s deep gravelly voice was just whipped cream on top of pie. (Dean hated cake, and felt there was only one time and place for it: never and in the trash, therefore his metaphors always involved pie.) Dean was, on the other hand, not discriminating when it came attraction and gender. It had been awhile since anyone, male or female had caught his eye - _too long_ , Dean thought to himself.

Dean also didn’t realise that he had been silently staring at the guy while licking his lips (an unconscious habit). The guys started to blush a bit, but held Dean’s gaze. Eventually, Dean cleared his throat after what was probably way too long to be normal.

“Umm, thanks. You wouldn’t believe some of the lines I get from people. No one has ever really done anything but rag on me for this thing. It’s nice to get a compliment for once.” Dean flashed the stranger the brightest smile he could. He’d used in the past to charm his way into anything.

“Castiel Novak.” The blue-eyed guy said, flashing an equally dashing smile in return. His eyes crinkled and it was the cutest look Dean had ever seen on someone before. In that one brief moment Dean was gone on the the guy.

_Well, shit._

“Dean Winchester.” Dean took Castiel’s proffered hand. To this day, he will swear it was nothing but some random static electricity, but there were sparks when their palms touched. Neither man flinched, but something passed between the two. So much so, neither realised that the train had pulled into the station.

The doors opened just to Dean’s left. “Do you want a hand?” Castiel offered, motioning to the bass.

“Uh, thanks. Sure, Cas.” _Five seconds and you’ve already nicknamed him? Then again, let’s be honest, it’s been way longer than that, right?_ Dean thought to himself.

They carried the instrument into a nearly empty car, sitting side-by-side with the bass between Dean’s legs. Their bodies were pressed up against one another despite the large number of seats at their disposal.

“So, I’m sure that you can guess what I’m doing out this late…” Motioning to his instrument and his backpack with “Brooklyn Academy of Museum” printed across it.

Cas cut’s him off, “Practicing underwater skywriting in Sanskrit.” Looking at Dean with the best poker face he’s ever seen.

Dean stifled a laugh, “Of course. What about you?”

“I was at an art show at Pratt for one of my students.” Castiel said with a small smile. “Kevin is very gifted.” Dean gives him a smile in return.

“So, you’re an art teacher?”

“I also have my own work as well, but yes.” Cas said nodding.

“That’s pretty cool, man.” Dean said continuing to smile at Cas.

They fell into silence for a moment. It wasn’t the awkward kind, but a comfortable one. They kept taking glances at one another, trying to be stealthy about it. The C train took a slow route from Brooklyn, through the bottom of Manhattan making all local stops.

“So, you live in Manhattan?” Cas asked. “That’s quite a trek with this thing.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “my little brother Sammy bailed on picking me up to go on a date. He’s smitten with this girl in his study group.”

Cas gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with the hassle then.”

Dean looked at Cas, and before he could stop himself, he answered with complete sincerity. “I’m not.”

Cas looked at him with a contemplative look, which slowly grew into a smile. Dean returned the smile. “I guess I’m not sorry then.” Cas said amending his previous statement.

“Good.” Dean responded as Cas moved that much closer to him, neither of them noticing that they had both missed their stop.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas knew the G Train was close, but there was a reason you never took it, as it was never there. It wasn't nicknamed the “ghost train” for nothing. Besides, it’s not like he could take it home without transferring, so he walked the extra few blocks to the C train. It was a nice night anyway. It was finally starting to warm up in New York City, that late May warmth with a hint of chill. You only needed a light jacket, and Cas wore his battered trench coat like a security blanket. He’d have no excuse to have it in the coming weeks, so he soaked up every chance he could.

Kevin Tran, one of his students, put on a very impressive show. He wasn’t surprised as the kid had some real talent. There was a lot of religious iconography, which made Cas smile thinking about it. He knew that he could have stayed out later, and was invited to, but didn’t feel like drinking with his students and colleagues. Truth be told, he liked being on his own. It was loneliness, not all the time, just relaxing.

Laughter and music spilled out of nearby bars, but Cas didn’t give them a second glance and headed down the subway steps. There was an echo of soft grumbling from somewhere, but he shook it off. It was New York after all, not that much shocked anyone these days. Or so he thought.

Stuffing his Metrocard back in his wallet he looked up. _Well, that’s different._

There was a man with his back to Cas holding onto the largest instrument he had ever seen in real life. He wasn’t stupid, and knew it to be a standup bass in a carrying sleeve. _I wouldn’t put that in a hardcore and drag it around if you paid me._ Cas thought to himself.

Cas slowly walked around both the man and his cargo so he was on the far side of both. Of course, he side-eyed the guy a little bit, it’s not like he was dead. The guy wore well-worn but nice fitting jeans. _Nice butt._ Cas mused silently.

He had on a purple and pink plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Cas caught the tattoos going down one of his arms, ending at his watchband. Short, spiked brown hair, black hightop converse that had seen better days (as all Chucks should), and a backpack that read “Brooklyn Academy of Music”.

Cas’s eyes then wandered to the instrument to his left. It was taller than both of them, and neither man was exactly short.

He then heard a throat clear. “Evening.”

Cas glanced up, and mentally patted himself on the back for not letting his eyes pop out of his head. _Seriously? No one should be that good looking. I bet he’s never taken a bad picture in his life._ Cas knows he’s staring. He does it a lot. Most times people comment. The stranger says nothing and just keeps looking at him, no hint of aggravation on his face.

“I’d make a joke about overcompensation, but in reality, the dedication to drag this thing on the subway, leaves me with a great deal of respect for you rather than anything.” Cas said evenly.

There is another silent staring contest between the two again. Cas takes the time to soak in the man’s features. _Green._ He thinks. _I could probably mix up that colour and it would never translate properly to canvas._ In addition to the beautiful eyes and long eyelashes, his face is covered in freckles. Cas itches to pull out a pen and start to connect the dots. So many patterns and shapes come to his mind. Before his mind can go further, especially into the gutter, he realises that his cheeks have become warm. _I’m blushing. I have been staring and now I am blushing. What am I? 13?_

“Umm, thanks. You wouldn’t believe some of the lines I get from people. No one has ever really done anything but rag on me for this thing. It’s nice to get a compliment for once.” The stranger flashed Cas the brightest smile he could. _I bet he uses that all the time to get what he wants. Bastard. Two can play at that game._

“Casiel Novak.” He says, flashing an equally dashing smile in return. He raised his hand towards the man.

“Dean Winchester.” Dean took his hand. It was a bit calloused from playing the instrument, maybe others as well, yet soft at the same time. Cas knew there was something between them as soon as their palms touched. He would gladly let Dean use those hands all over his body, you know, for science.

Before Cas noticed the train pulled in, and the doors opened just to Dean’s left. “Do you want a hand?” Cas offered Dean, motioning towards the bass.

“Uh, thanks. Sure, Cas.” Cas bit back a smile. _I’ve already got a nickname. Well, shit. This better go somewhere or I’m going to have one Hell of a blue period soon. Or would it be green?_

The car was nearly empty, odd for a Saturday night, but not beyond the realm of possibility. Dean wedged the bass between his legs, as Cas sat down next to him, their bodies touching quite a bit for two people who had just met. _We’re on the subway, it’s normal. Just because there are only 10 other people as opposed to rush hour makes no difference. It’d be rude not to._ Cas trying to justify it to himself.

Suddenly Dean spoke up, “So, I’m sure that you can guess what I’m doing out this late…” Motioning to the bass and his backpack with “Brooklyn Academy of Museum” printed across it.

Cas cut’s him off, “Practicing underwater skywriting in Sanskrit.” Trying to give Dean a passible poker face. _Smooth, Novak._ Rolling his own eyes in his mind.

Dean stifled a laugh, “Of course. What about you?"

“I was at an art show at Pratt for one of my students.” Cas said with a small smile thing of his student. “Kevin is very gifted.” Dean gives him a smile again. Cas is sure that he’s a one step closer to becoming a puddle on the floor every time he sees it.

Dean looks thoughtful for a moment.“So, you’re an art teacher?”

“I also have my own work as well, but yes.” Cas said nodding. _Work that is now going to feature various shades of green._

“That’s pretty cool, man.” Dean said continuing to smile at Cas. Silence looms yet again. Cas tries looking away, but keeps staring at Dean. When Dean looks over at him, Cas blushes and looks away. _You are a grown man, what is your problem?! Yes you haven’t been with anyone in… well, let’s not go there. But come on, what kind of chance do you have? He hasn’t given any indication that he’s interested. Why would he? I’m sure he’s got them lined up out the door._ Cas also glances at his left arm, the one covered in tattoos. It’s a hodgepodge design of various elements. He notes some Latin verses, what looks like a few musical stanzas, and some geeky stuff mixed in. _Is that Captain America’s shield?_

“So, you live in Manhattan?” Cas asked trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “That’s quite a trek with this thing.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “my little brother Sammy bailed on picking me up to go on a date. He’s smitten with this girl in his study group.” Another small smile plays across his lips as he mentions his brother. _Kill me now._ Cas thinks.

Cas gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with the hassle then.”

Dean looked at Cas, really looks, and without breaking eye contact says two words that makes Cas’s heart pretty much stop. “I’m not.”

Cas gives him a contemplative look, which betrays the inner dance party and ticker tape parade going on in his head. He lets a smile come across his lips, which Dean returns. “I guess I’m not sorry then.”

“Good.” Dean says. They shift in their seats, Cas moves a little bit closer, while Dean kind of relaxes into him just a bit.

“How long have you played?” Cas asks.

Dean scratches the back of his neck.“I actually started with the violin and worked my way up. I also play guitar and bass. I wanted to be Jimmy Page or John Paul Jones. My mom wanted me to be Yo-Yo Ma.”

Cas’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Doesn’t he play the cello?”

Dean huffs a little. “Yeah, she said there hasn’t been a famous upright bass player since the days of Duke Ellington, so I could be the first. Mom is a force of nature that you can’t say no to.”

Cas smiles, “Sounds like a good woman.”

Dean strokes the side of the cased instrument fondly probably lost in thoughts of his mom, “She is.” Dean turns to his companion, “So, Cas, what about you? You said you’re an artist and teacher? Do you paint then?”

Cas tries to hide a smile at the use of such a familiar form of his name. “Yeah, I use various mediums, I sculpt as well, but I’ve been painting more recently.” He lifts his hands to show Dean. There are faint hints of various colours embedded in his nail beds and along the side of his hand where he missed a spot. “It gets everywhere.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow. “Everywhere?”

Suddenly they both are laughing at the innuendo, when Cas hears "Next Stop: 116th Street Street / Eighth Avenue" over the loudspeaker.

"Shit." Cas looks around.

"What is it, Cas?" Dean says looking confused.

"I missed my stop, about 3 stations ago..." He trailed off looking sheepish.

Dean looks up at the platform through the window as the train departs. "Crap. Me too." Dean pauses for a moment, "Wait, you get off at 96th?"

Cas nods, "Yeah, my apartment is on 91st. I should have been paying attention." He begins to blush again.

Dean smiles and shoulder bumps Cas, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I still have to change trains, which I should have done at 59th. I’m up in Washington Heights. "

Cas looks taken aback at the massive commute, not wishing that on anyone who has to drag around such an instrument. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Dean shrugged. "I was enjoying the company." Cas had never met anyone as forward as Dean before. Yes, he's been hit on and he know what he looks like in the mirror, but he isn't one to really care about looks. Cas spends most of the time in ripped jeans and a ratty shift store t-shirt painting. He owns very few clothes and one suit. He has never cared about making an effort before this moment in his life. That is, before this moment in his life, so therefore Cas is now become hyperaware of his appearance. _I should have shaved. Oh my God, did I even shower today? Wait, I must have, there isn't that much paint on my hands. Fuck, I must look a mess. How did this just hit me now? I really should get some clothes that fit, or at least aren't covered in paint. I'm going shopping tomorrow. Wait, where do people buy clothes they actually care about? Hmmm... maybe I'll ask Gabriel. He's usually well dressed, for a lunatic brother who is generally covered in flour._

"Cas?" Dean says hesitantly. "I said do you want to get off at the next stop?"

Cas looks at Dean realising he had spaced out."Um, sure, but I feel bad about you lugging that about."

Dean shrugs, "Not like it's a new thing, no, but I'm okay with it."

Cas shakes his head and starts speaking before his brain can catch up with his mouth. "No, why don't you just come to mine and your brother can pick you up in the morning with the truck."

Dean looks at Cas a bit wide-eyed and gives him a bit of a smirk. "You going to make me breakfast as well?" _  
_

_Oh, fuck._ Cas finally heard what he said. “Only if you like burnt toast and coffee.”

Dean laughs again. _Never going to tire of that sound._ “I’ve got an extra bedroom.” _Yeah, because if you step into mine, I’m not letting you leave. Ever._

Before Dean can answer, he stifles a yawn. Cas quirks an eyebrow. “Promise you won't murder me in my sleep?”

“I swear on the grave of John Bonham.” Cas says, recalling Dean’s use of other Led Zeppelin band members previously. He likes them, Led Zeppelin III is nice to paint to sometimes.

At this, Dean smiles. They get off at 116th and get on the downtown platform, the train arrives pretty quickly, and they are at 96th within minutes. Dean grumbles a bit getting it out of the station, despite Cas’s offer to help. They walk down Central Park West until they get to a beautiful building. The overhang reads _The Eldorado_. The doorman is there greeting them and holing open the entry way. “Good evening, Mr. Novak.”

“Evening, Garth.” Cas says nodding to the tall and skinny employ. He gives Dean a goofy kind of grin. “Good thing we’ve got large elevators!” Dean gives him a close lipped smile, while Cas tries not to laugh at the green-eyed man’s obvious annoyance. Cas hits the button for the 10th floor.

“Nice building.” Dean says, trying not to feel too fish out of water.

Cas shrugs, he can tell Dean feels a bit awkward. “My dad left me the apartment. The maintenance fee is a killer, but teaching and selling a few paintings here and there covers it. Besides that, my expenses are pretty low. I don’t do much in my free time. The main room also acts as my studio.”

Dean nods in understanding. “Nice dad.”

Cas huffs, “Not really, but I’ll take an apartment with good lighting any day.”

The elevator dings and they walk over to Cas’s door, 10F. He unlocks it and steps in, holding the door wide for Dean to follow. Cas flicks on a light in the foyer, and Dean looks to the left. There are no curtains on the living room windows and barely any furniture. Painting and sculpting materials are everywhere. There is a comfy looking leather chair in one corner surrounded by books and a standing lamp. That’s it. Cas hangs his coat up on a hook on the wall just near the front door.

“You can leave that here.” He motions toward the bass and points towards an empty corner in the foyer. “Are you hungry, or do you just want to sleep?” Cas asks a bit sheepishly. _Oh, so now you get all timid. After you practically dragged the guy home? You are an idiot._

“I could always eat, but I think I’m just going to crash, if that’s okay. It was a long day. Work then practice. I was on day tours this week, but I had practice as well. No rest for the wicked, eh?” Dean tries to smirk again, but a yawn ruins it.

“Day tours?” Cas asks looking perplexed.

“I’m over at Squad 18 downtown.” Cas is still looking at him. “I’m a firefighter. Specialised, since I’m on a Rescue Company.”

Cas thinks he deserves every award ever in the split second those words fall out of Dean’s mouth. _A musician and a firefighter? I must have died or fallen asleep. Seriously?! Where are the hidden cameras?_ Yet the only word that come out of Cas’s mouth is, “Wow.”

Dean shrugs. “It pays the bills, and I like helping people.”

He doesn’t go any further. “How do you even find the time?” Cas still a bit flabbergasted for various reasons.

Dean shrugs. “You make time for what’s important.” He catches Cas’s eye again.

“Yeah.” Cas says quietly. They are staring again. Cas knows he’s staring. Dean must know he is. Neither know for how long. “So, the spare room is down here.” Cas finally chokes out. He brushes in past Dean. He smells divine. A mixture of something woodsy and smoky, like a whiskey and cigar lounge, but not as sickly, or something equally as masculine. Cas could bury his head in Dean’s neck and be happy for the rest of his life with that smell.

He hears Dean follow him. They walk through the empty dining room. It’s littered with more art supplies and blank canvases. There is an untidy desk shoved in the corner with a laptop on it and chair tucked it. _I must look like a slob._ Cas thinks, cringing as he glances at it. He doesn’t dare look back at Dean. He’s got strong will, but he doesn’t trust himself at the moment. _Eat your heart out, Orpheus!_

He opens the door to his right. It’s a simple room, with a bed, dresser, and desk. Gabriel, one of his brothers, tends to use it when he’s in town. It’s probably the most furniture in one room in the whole place. Dean follows him in looking around. “It has an ensuite through there, and there are new toothbrushes and toiletries and stuff. My brother stays here when he’s in town, and he never gives any warning, so I tend to keep it stocked. He likes being spontaneous, it probably explains some of his recipes.” _And oh my God, why am I still talking?!_

Dean smiles. “This place is amazing.”

Cas looks down, a bit bashful. “It’s a mess, but thanks.” He looks again at Dean. “If you need anything, I’m room just past the foyer, first door on your right. Kitchen is just out there. Whatever is in the fridge is fair game. Do you need anything to sleep in?”

Dean smiles. “Just my underwear is fine.” He screws up his lips after his comment, and blushes a bit. _And thank you for that image_ , Cas thinks to himself happily.

“Well, night Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”

And for the umpteenth time that evening they both stand there staring. Now, it’s awkward. Cas is the first to look away, as Dean scratches the back of his head. They both smile at one another, and Cas turns to leave as Dean closes the door. Cas walks straight back to his clothing strewn bedroom and closes the door. He leans against it an tips his head back against it a little too hard.

“Fuck.” He says to the empty walls.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's what Cas's apartment looks like: 
> 
> http://streeteasy.com/building/the-eldorado/10f
> 
> Again, if you guys like it, I'll keep going.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean heard Cas's soft footfalls on the hardwood floors as he walked away. He honestly stood there staring at the closed door evaluating his life choices up until this the moment. When Cas asked him back to his, he wasn't sure of the intent. He thought Cas was interested, because Dean definitely was. It even went beyond how Cas looked, he was for lack of a better word, adorkable. Let's be honest, though, he was hot, and even if Dean didn't swing that way, he would for Cas.

And then Dean walked into the apartment, which was probably three times the size of the place he and Sam shared further uptown, he was floored. Dean didn't care about the fact Cas was probably loaded, he'd be just as enamoured if he worked at a convince store refilling slushy machines all day. _He'd probably spill it everywhere_ , he thought to himself remembering the organised mess that permeated the residence.

Dean pulled out his phone and gave Sam a quick text. His little brother probably wasn't even going to be home tonight either, or even check the message, but Dean did it regardless. He breathed a heavy sigh. This was such an odd situation. Yes, he's had one-night stands, though they've petered out as of late due to his schedule. Dean doesn't even remember the last time he got laid. Suddenly his thoughts shift to Cas again. He was endearing, there seemed to be a strange personality mix with him; both awkward and a badass intenseness. He shook his head of the thoughts before they went any further. He didn't want tomorrow to be any more stranger than it was already destined to be.

Dean quickly undressed and set his alarm. He was off the next few days, so he finally had time to catch up with things at home, like laundry and other mundane tasks. He laid down on the large bed and easily drifted off to sleep thinking of the colour blue.

It is a concrete fact that Cas is not a morning person. He cannot properly function before a certain hour. It was so bad, he would drink two quadruple espressos even before leaving the house. He has since cut back due to an unfortunate incident with a French press and some Costa Rican blend. It is a topic that no one discusses to this day.He has since forgone both. He'll have a cup here or there, but generally sticks to tea blends.

This morning, however, Cas was up before the alarm. In fact, he had no trouble getting out of bed, which most definitely had to do with the current occupant of his guest room. Cas didn't even try to make excuses, because there was no point in lying to himself. He wanted to say something more or do something more with Dean but chicken out. He opened his eyes and heard faint music as well as smelled coffee. Dean was awake. Cas thought to himself. Dean is in my kitchen. He thought he heard something else in addition to the music. _Is that singing?!_ He listened harder, he didn't recognise the song (which was Styx's "Man in the Wilderness").

Usain Bolt might be one of the fastest men on Earth, but he had nothing on Cas in that moment. Not even giving a thought to the fact he was in paint-covered sweatpants that had been cut off unevenly at the knee and an old t-shirt advertising _Kingdom Beer._ He made his way to he kitchen so quickly, it was as if he teleported there.

Dean had his head in the fridge looking for cheese. Cas's fridge wasn't abysmal, but it was pretty poor. At least there was enough to make veggie and cheese omelettes. He also made some coffee, but left it black as he wasn't sure how Cas took it. Dean always felt at home in the kitchen. He usually cooked at the firehouse, though the quantities were considerably larger. He thought it was the least he could do for Cas after letting him stay last night. _The way to a man's heart is through his stomach after all._ Dean paused for a second. _Heart?!_ It had been a while since he'd been with one person, and the few relationships he's had weren't worth even a second thought as they never ended well. Lately though, which was probably due to the puppy dog looks Sam got when he was near Jess. Or mentioned Jess. Or thought of Jess. Or anyone said a word that rhymes with Jess.

He laughed softly to himself thinking of how bad his brother had it. But lately, he started to feel a little emptiness inside. He knew he was too busy for a relationship. I _f you're busy, you make time for what's important._ The words echoed in his head. Thoughts about the implications of that and the possibility of Cas distracted him enough that he didn't hear Cas come up behind him.

"Morning." Cas said in his gravelly voice which seems even deeper first thing.

Dean did not jump that much, or so he convinced himself. "Dammit. Wear a bell or something, Cas." He turned to see Cas standing inches from him. His hair even more dishevelled than last night. "Um, personal space."

Cas's brow wrinkled and stared at Dean, then stepped back. "My apologies."

Dean took the cheese that was in his hand and headed back over to the hob. "I hope you're hungry," he said giving Cas a smile over his shoulder.

"You didn't have to make breakfast, Dean." Cas responded around a yawn.

The green-eyed Man shrugged. "Least I could do. Besides, burnt toast doesn't really hit the spot on Sunday mornings."

Cas gave a wry smile while staring at the floor. Dean turned back and continued to cook. "Coffee is ready, I didn't know how you took it, so I just left room at the top." He motioned to a blue mug on the counter.

"Thank you." Cas said grabbing the mug and proceeded to dump a few scoops of brown sugar from a nearby jar. Dean raised an eyebrow, filing that information away for future reference.

Quiet permeated the room. Again, both men felt comfortable in the silence; it was very domestic, the both of them in the kitchen. Cas sipped his coffee, staring over the brim at Dean's broad back. He gave a small smile, enjoying seeing him in his kitchen. It was as if he belonged. The song changed on Dean's phone. The soft notes of Tom Waits's "I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You" began to drift through the space. Neither said a word. It was one of those moments that should have been put on display or preserved in time. Unconsciously, both of them knew what the possibility was, but neither of them acted. Cas continued to drink his coffee and Dean stared at the skillet. The air was thick with so much tension it would take a chainsaw to cut. Luckily, it came in to form of a text message that interrupted the song on Dean's phone.

The opening from Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" briefly interrupted the song. Dean turned and grabbed his phone mumbling sorry to Cas. It was Sam. _Didn't come home last night, huh? Took you long enough. ;)_ Dean scowled at the message. _Bitch_. A reply of _Jerk_ came soon after.

Cas looked at his guest a bit concerned. "Everything okay?"

Dean looked up. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Just Sammy." He gave Cas a smile. "Breakfast is ready, by the way." Dean had searched Cas's kitchen earlier for everything, so he easily located plates to dish out the omelettes. "Do you want to eat here or...?" Dean said trailing off and motioning to the breakfast nook in the corner.

"I've never used that." Cas says in regard to the rounded benched area.

"What?!" Dean replied, slightly shocked.

Cas shrugged. "It's usually me here, and my brother Gabriel wasn't much for breakfast. He'd usually go out. Never really made a fuss over meals before. Not since I was a child."

Dean gave Cas a brief look of sympathy that was quickly replaced with determination. "Well, there's always a first for everything." Dean dished out the food and carried it over to the seated area. He had already made toast and carried everything over in one go. "Used to wait tables in undergrad." He said as an explanation. Cas followed, tucking himself into the upholstered bench. Dean sat across from him.

"Thank you again for breakfast. You know, you didn't have to." Dean nodded, cutting up his omelette.

"I know, but I wanted to." They fell into silence again with music playing. This time it was Van Morrison's "If I Ever Needed Someone". Dean was about ready to kill his Spotify for it's continual insistence this morning. It was like a giant neon sign ever since Cas stepped into the kitchen.

"This is really good." Cas said between mouthfuls. Dean smiled in response. They finished breakfast quietly with the music providing a commentary that neither men men could actually voice or acknoweldge.

"So, do you have to work today?" Cas asked, trying to be as nonchalant as posible.

"No, I'm off the next few days." Dean's phone alerted him again to a text message. He glance at it. _Where do I need to pick your sorry ass up from? If you say Williamsburg, you're on you own._

Dean texted Sam the address. "Sorry, it's my brother."

"That's okay. I hope he had a nice evening out. Is he on his way to pick you up?"

"Yeah." Dean responded, finishing his breakfast. "He'll probably be here in a bit. Not much traffic, being Sunday morning and all."

Cas nodded. He didn't want Dean to go, but he was too chicken (yet again) to ask him to stay. "I hope you slept well, by the way." _Small talk? Really?! You are pathetic._

"Yeah, it was nice. Thanks." Dean felt really awkward. He's glad he didn't let his thoughts get too far last night, because if he had jerked off this would have been even worse. He finished his food.

"I better get everything together. Sam will probably be here soon." Cas nodded solemnly.

 _Wow, I don't think you could kill a mood faster. Must be a new record._ Cas thought to himself.

Both of them glanced up and spoke at the same time. "Dean, I-" "Cas, I-"

They huffed in laughter. Cas motioned to Dean to speak first. "Cas, um, do you maybe want to grab a drink or dinner one night?"

Cas stopped mid-chew. _He just asked you out. You are not as big of a spaz as you thought. A firefighter that is also a trained musician who looks like a friggin' model just asked you out. Wait, why aren't you talking?!_ "Um, okay. I-I'd like that." Cas offered trying not to show too much excitement. He was always told that being too eager was a bad move. He's sure there were other things he wasn't supposed to do, but he doesn't remember. He' sire that he made a list at one point of all the suggestions that Gabriel gave him, but he has no idea where it is.

Dean beamed at him. "Awesome." They finished up breakfast, and Cas cleared the plates. "Cook doesn't clean," He said by way of explanation. A soft smile played along Dean's lips as he saw Cas get up and take everything to the sink.

"I better go pack up my stuff." Dean said, excusing himself.

Cas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding once Dean walked away. _Good job on not being weird, assbutt._

As he finished setting everything in the drying rack, there was a buzzer from the intercom. Cas walked over to the receiver hanging off the wall. "Hello?"

It was Andy, one of the day shift doormen. "Hey Mr. Novak. There's a Sam Winchester here."

"That's fine. Just send him up." Cas replaced the receiver on the hook. He turned to call Dean and let him know that his brother had arrived, but Dean was standing right there.

"Just tell me if I'm wrong." Dean then stepped closer and pinned Cas to the wall. There was barely a glance to one another's lips before they collided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd yet again by jesh14. You're awesome, Sammy - best little brother ever.
> 
> I seriously am excited by all the hits, kudos, and comments so far. Y'all are awesome! Keep 'em coming!


	4. Chapter 4

"Dean?"  
  
Dean blinked out of his reverie as Cas walked back over to the breakfast nook. Dean wanted nothing more than to indulge in the fantasy of pinning Cas to the wall and kissing him.   
  
"Dean?" Cas said again.  
  
Dean shook his head. "Yeah, sorry. Mind was drifting."  
  
"You're brother is here, or rather downstairs." Cas said trying to keep the melancholy out of his voice.  
  
"Yeah, I better get out of your hair. Thanks for letting me stay." Dean said getting up.  
  
Cas took a step forward. _Be brave, Novak._ "So, about that dinner?"  
  
Dean licked his lips and took an unconscious step towards Cas. He glanced at the other man's lips. It was as if a tractor beam were pulling him in. "Yeah." He said in a hushed tone.  
  
They slowly moved until they were mere inches apart. "How's tonight?" Dean asked. His voice sounded so loud in his head, but was barely above a whisper.  
  
Cas titled his head to the side slightly. "I'd like that." His eyes started to flutter close. Dean was leaning in towards Cas when s uddenly there was a knock on the door. Both of them whipped their head in the front entrance. _Sam you are such a fucking cockblock with the worst fucking time ever!_ Dean shouted in his head hoping he was telepathic enough for his brother to hear.  
  
The moment was gone. Cas cleared his throat as quietly as he could and walked towards the front door. Dean hung his head and let out a small groan. He went to the spare room and quickly collected his things.  
  
Cas unlocked the deadbolt and swung open the door. He looked up and saw a slightly younger man with long light brown hair and hazel eyes. He could tell they were brothers. Upon seeing who stood behind the door, Sam's face grew into a wide grin.  
  
"Hi, I'm Sam." The floppy haired man said with an outstretched hand.  
  
"Castiel Novak." Cas said taking the proffered hand to shake then stepped aside letting him in the apartment.  
  
"Be right there, Sammy." Dean called from the spare bedroom.  
  
Sam glanced around, spotting Dean's bass in the corner. He then noticed the paintings in the living room.  
  
"Would you like some coffee?" Cas offered to the younger Winchester.  
  
"No, thanks though." Sam paused staring at an unfinished painting leaning near the far window. "Wait, your last name, it's Novak. You're C. Novak." Sam said turning around.  
  
Cas blushed slightly. "Yes."  
  
Sam was smiling so much it made his jaw hurt. Cas thought he looked like a giant puppy who had just been given some bacon. "I learned about you in my art survey course in undergrad. I wrote a paper on your work 'The Garrison'. It's such an amazing piece."  
  
Cas gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Sam. That was one of my early pieces. I'm surprised it's still covered."  
  
"What's still covered?" Dean said as he walked into the foyer. "Morning, Sammy."  
  
"Sam." His younger brother giving him one of his patented bitchfaces.  
  
"Bitch." Dean said smiling.  
  
"Jerk." Sam said in return.

Cas looked between the two slightly confused with their name calling.  
  
"I better get going, thanks again for letting me stay, Cas." Dean glancing at Cas while simultaneously wishing he didn't have an audience that included and annoying younger brother. _As if I can't see you grinning, Samsquatch._   
  
"No problem." Cas said to Dean wishing their earlier moment hadn't been interrupted. "Do you need help with your instrument?"  
  
Sam stifled a laugh while Dean glared past Cas at his younger brother. "No, I'm good, Cas. Thanks."  
  
Cas nodded and opened to front door. Sam picked up the bass and exited. "It was great meeting you."  
  
"You as well, Sam." Cas said as Sam made his way to the elevator bank.   
  
Dean stopped at the doorway. "Thanks again, Cas." Cas nodded. Dean's voice then dropped to a near whisper. "Pick you up at 6?"  
  
Cas smiled sheepishly. "See you then."  
  
Dean grinned as the elevator dinged and he ran to catch up with Sam. Cas watched him go. Dean looked back and smiled before he stepped in the elevator.  
  
Cas sighed as closed the door. "Tonight." He said softly.  
  
Cas walked back towards the kitchen to finish the dishes. He needed something to take his mind off the anticipation. On his way there, Cas noticed a post it on the door to the guest room. It read: _Thought you might need this. Dean 917-555-3511_ Cas plucked it off the door and smiled. Dean must have scribbled it when he went to pack up his things, as the post its were on his desk. just across from the room. It was only about 9 hours until he saw Dean again, but even 9 minutes seemed to long of a wait.

 

* * *

  
  
"So..." Sam said after they finished loading the bass into the back of the pickup.  
  
"So, what?" Dean said walking towards the driver's side. Sam motioned to toss his brother the keys then stopped. "Gimme the keys, Sam."  
  
"So, you going to tell me how you ended up there last night?" Sam said dangling the keys, obviously trying to barter for information.  
  
"Sam." Dean said in a warning tone.  
  
"Look, I'm not asking for graphic details because there isn't enough brain bleach for that. I just want to know if you are going to see him again." Sam said gently.  
  
"What is it to you?" Dean said crossing his arms.  
  
Sam sighed. "I just want you to be happy. Don't think I don't notice how you get sometimes when Jess is around. I just... You deserve that for yourself as well."  
  
"You done with your chick flick moment? I don't want to talk about it." Sam gave Dean a bitchface. Dean uncrossed his arms and dragged a hand across his face. "Look, I'll tell you when there's something to talk about, deal?"  
  
"When, huh?" Sam said breaking into a grin.  
  
"Shut up, Samantha." Dean said being caught out on his choice of words. Sam chuckled and tossed Dean the keys.  
  
Sam was happy that there was chance his brother might have someone like he has Jess. Dean came out as bisexual in high school. Their mother was very accepting, and to their surprise, so was their dad.  John Winchester was an ex-Marine and the picture of masculinity. Both Sam and Dean (as Dean had told Sam first before anyone) were gobsmacked when they all sat in the living room with their parents and youngest brother, Adam.  Mary gave Dean a knowing smile. Adam was six and too preoccupied with colouring. John was quiet for a moment then stood up and hugged Dean. Though the two had their differences and fought, Dean's sexual preference would never erase the fact that John was his father and loved him.

Sam pulled out his phone and quickly texted Adam, who was currently finishing up his undergrad at KSU. All three boys attended Kansas State for undergrad, as it was family tradition on both sides of their family (it's where their parents met), as they grew up in nearby Lawrence as well. Sam knew it was early, but he didn't care.  
  
Dean was preoccupied singing along to AC/DC's "Back in Black" that coursed through the truck's speakers.  
  
**SAM:** _Dean has a date. You owe me $50._  
  
A few minutes later his phone buzzed. It was Adam.  
  
**ADAM:** _You wake me up just to tell me that I owe you money?! It couldn't wait a few hours, you asshole?!_   
  
**ADAM:** _And that jackass couldn't wait a few more weeks?! June was so fucking close._   
  
**ADAM:** _About time, though._  
  
**ADAM:** _Guy or girl?_  
  
**SAM:** _Guy. Castiel Novak. He's a famous painter._  
  
**ADAM:** _Yeah, from that art survey course you told me to take. Does Dean know?_  
  
**SAM:** _Don't know, but Dean never took that. Stuck to music._  
  
**ADAM:** _Well, he lucked out, I guess. Guy's really talented._  
  
**ADAM:** _$50 Dean makes it a week before he starts getting all "Dean" and fucks it up._  
  
**SAM:**   _You don't have any faith or shame, do you?_  
  
**ADAM:**   _Not when he costs me beer money._  
  
Sam held back a laugh.  
  
**SAM:** _You're on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to jesh14 as my beta. Go check out her tumblr too! http://jesh14.tumblr.com/
> 
> Oh, and if you're trying to figure out ages: 
> 
> Cas is 32.  
> Dean is 30.  
> Sam is 26 (and getting his JD/PhD at Columbia Law, which is why he's still in school).  
> Adam is 19 (and a full Winchester).


	5. Chapter 5

_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_ You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh _

_ You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh _

_ You don't Have to go._

 

The opening to Led Zeppelin's D'yer Mak'er echoed thorough the apartment. Cas has never had a noise complaint in the time he's lived in his apartment, despite how much he tends to blast music. Guess privilege does have some perks.

He is sat hunching over a large canvas set atop a tarp on the floor. Around him are various paints, all aiding him in one goal: to find the perfect green. It's sappy, and Cas knows this, but he wants to find the right shade of Dean's eyes.

Greens blend into others, which is accidentally creating a sea of various shades. One part exercise and one part obsession is turning into a stunning piece of art. He's been at this for hours, so it's fair to say that it's a bit more the latter. He refuses to stop until he finds it.

The rain, which started a little while ago, hits the windows, but Cas doesn't notice. He hasn't even realised the weather had changed. 

Cas figured the soundtrack was a perfect background considering his subject. He tends to get involved when he starts to create, so he remembered to set an alarm for 4pm just in case.

 

_ Oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_ Every breath I take oh oh oh oh oh _

_ Every move I make oh oh oh oh oh _

_ Baby please don't go. _

 

* * *

Dean had successfully avoided further questioning from Sam. It helped that his brother went to the gym and the library after dropping Dean back at their apartment. Dean still gives himself credit even though they had only been in each other's company for barely an hour.

Dean showered and then sat in the living room with his laptop. He had to figure out where to take Cas tonight. Dinner was definite, but he didn't ask him his preferences or his allergies. _Shit._ Dean thought to himself. He reached for his phone to give Cas a quick text and stopped himself. He had given Cas his number (which hopefully he found), but Dean didn't have his. _Dammit._

Dean took a breath and shrugged. "Guess I'm flying blind." As his free time is very limited, there were few places that Dean went when not working, practicing, or sleeping. His go to is Harvelle's, a bar he found when he first moved to New York five years ago.

After Dean graduated from KSU as pre-med. He liked helping people so he had intended to be a doctor. Sammy, the genius that he is, skipped a grade in high school, so when Dean was a senior, Sam was in his first year of university. The overachiever ended up taking summer classes and even skipped a couple of semesters, despite his crazy pre-law course load. He was even accepted early to Columbia Law. That's when things changed for the brothers.

Though they were four years apart, Sam's academic prowess put them in closer proximity. Dean was 11 years older than Adam, so when his dad was on tour in the Mideast, Dean was the man of the house, and helped his mom a lot. He was all set to continue at KSU, when Sam ran into a little trouble in New York.

No one talks about it, Sam got into some trouble. Real bad kind of stuff, both physical and psychological. He was only permitted to stay in school if he had a family member with him. Therefore Dean dropped out, and moved to New York for Sam. He wasn’t able to get placement in any nearby med schools, so he took the Civil Servant’s exam and became an EMT for FDNY, then a paramedic, until he took the Firefighter’s Exam, and found his true calling. He already worked as a medic during his studies back in Kansas, so he was able to fast track a bit.

Sam has since been straight edge with life, going on a massive health kick. Rabbit food and non-stop gym workouts, along with his mandatory therapy sessions. He hasn’t relapsed or toed the line, and even made it to the top of his class and being asked to continue with a JD/PhD at Columbia. 

Dean didn’t begrudge Sammy for altering the course of his life. Family is important and Dean did what he could to help his brother. Besides, he gets his share of hospital drama by watching Dr. Sexy, so at least there’s that.

Dean continues to scroll along on his laptop looking for something when he suddenly hears thunder. Rain starts pouring down and Dean groans. “Well, guess it’s inside tonight.” He looks through reviews of loads of places, but eventually gives up. He’ll take Cas to Harvelle’s. Probably not the best idea to take a date onto home turf, but there was something different about Cas that Dean just couldn't put his finger on. He liked the guy, obviously, and he wanted to sleep with him, but there was something else. When he was cooking them breakfast this morning, it was a comfortable domesticity that he’d never had before. It felt like home. _Too soon, Winchester._ He mentally chided himself. 

Glancing at the clock, it was near 4pm. He decided he should start getting ready for tonight. He stowed the laptop on the secondhand coffee table when he heard the opening chords of “Ramble On” play from his phone. Dean snatched it up, praying it wasn’t Cas cancelling their date. It wasn’t.

“Hello?” Dean said quizzically, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Hey Dean, sorry to call you in, but we had a bit of an accident at the station, and you’ve to cover.” The gruff voice of his Captain, Bobby Singer, said over the line.

_Fuck._ “Everyone okay?” Dean said both pissed and worried.

 “Yeah, just a drill mishap. Victor is out of commission for a few days. I know you aren’t supposed to be on, but you’re the only one that can replace him. Sorry, son.” Bobby said, with genuine regret. Victor and Dean were the only two with advanced medical training, and on a Rescue Squad, that was important. They were all trained for various specialities, but it was always handy to have someone with a bit extra around.

“No worries, Bobby, I get it.” Dean said sighing.

“Yeah, I’ll rotate you out on Tuesday, and see if I can get you a week off as compensation. Jo should be finished up with her training by then, which means I’ll have three Docs on call.” Bobby said as an apology of sorts.

Bobby knew Dean wasn’t a doctor, but he’d learn a long time ago not to correct his Captain. “Yeah, okay, thanks. I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Good, see you soon, boy.” And with that, Bobby hung up. 

_Dammit._ There was nothing Dean could do. He looked at his phone. Cas hadn’t called or texted. _Shit_. He had no way of contacting him, so he did the next best thing. Dean grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone, throwing on a light jacket because of the rain. _Thank God I showered already._ And headed out.

 

* * *

  

Garth was at the front door again. “Hiya! You’re the one with the bass, right? Garth Fitzgerald III.” The gangly doorman stuck out his hand to Dean. 

“Yeah, Hi. Dean Winchester. Um, I’ve to see Cas. I mean, Castiel. Uh, Novak. 10F.” Dean said trying not to be too fidgety. He was going to be late, but he had to stop to see Cas and apologise.

“Sure thing.” Garth picks up the nearby receiver and gives Cas a ring. It keeps ringing and there is no answer. “Hmmm, I know he hasn’t left. Probably painting again.” Dean looks at Garth slightly confused. “He tends to turn the music up pretty high, so he never hears the intercom. I’d let you up, but…” He trails off. Dean looks forlorn. _Crap. Crap. Crap. He’s going to think I bailed._

“Um, I’ve got to get to work. Can I leave him a note or something? And he needs to get it before 6pm.” Dean says checking his watch.

“That I can do.” Garth says picking up a pen and notepad from the nearby doorman perch.

Dean hastily scribbles a note, folds it, and gives it to Garth. “Thanks, man.” Dean nods and then leaves. He hopes that Cas will give him another chance.

 

* * *

 

Cas steps out of the shower, a cerulean blue towel wrapped around his waist. He is humming happily to himself when he hears the intercom ring. Checking the time as he walks past his computer, _4:47 PM_ , he walks over to the kitchen, and picks up the handset. “Hello?”

“Hey, Mr. Novak. I’ve got a note for you from Dean Winchester. He was here about 20 minutes or so ago. We tried to reach you, but he was in a hurry.” Cas frowned. _I must have fucked up somehow. Crap, I haven’t even kissed the guy and he’s already running away. I probably went too far earlier. I should haven’t been so pushy. Nice move, jackass._ “Mr. Novak?” Garth’s voice pulls him out of his head.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ll be right down.” Cas says quickly then hangs up. He pulls on underwear, sweats, and a random t-shirt, not even bothering with shoes, and heads to the lobby.

Garth is standing there, helping Mrs. Tran with her groceries. She’s one of Cas’s neighbours, 10B, so he sees her in the hallway in passing. She’s one of the few that Cas talks to, as well as being one of his star pupil’s parents.

“Good evening, Linda.” Cas got scolded the first (which was also the last) time he called her Mrs. Tran. Garth, though, calls everyone by their last name. It’s his Southern Charm that let’s him get away with it, or at least that’s what he claims.

“Evening, Castiel. I’d stay and chat, but I’ve got food melting. I want to talk about Kevin’s show the next chance you get. Come by for tea soon?” She says smiling.

“Of course.” Cas says, returning the smile. She hurries to the elevator, as Garth pulls a note from his pocket. 

“Here ya go. Guy was in a right hurry. Seemed really sorry he couldn’t wait for you to answer.” Garth said handing the note to Cas.

“Thank you, Garth.” Cas turns and heads back to the elevator. He wasn’t about to read a rejection note in front of anyone. He closes the front door to his apartment and leans against it when he opens the note.

 

_Cas —_

_I’m so sorry. There was an emergency at work, and I got called in to cover. Nothing serious, but I’m on shifts until Tuesday. My Captain is going to try and get my a week off after that, so we can reschedule. I would have called, but I didn’t have your number. I left mine, but I don’t know if you saw. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person. Hopefully you’re not too pissed with me._

_— Dean_

 

Cas sighs in both relief and disappointment. He hadn’t fucked up, but he did cost Dean time in not texting him, as he didn’t have Cas’s number, _and oh God you are an idiot._

Cas walks over to where he left his phone in the living room. It sat next to a now drying canvas covered in various greens. Right in the centre being the perfect shade that matched Dean’s eyes.

**CAS:** _Hello, Dean. This is Castiel Novak. I just got your note. I’m sorry I missed you when you were here, I was in the shower. We can reschedule our date, as I am still looking forward to it. In the meantime, be safe. :)_

Cas hits the send button, and sets his phone down next to him as he stares at it, willing Dean to respond. It takes a few minutes.

**DEAN:** _No need to be so formal, dude. Yeah, I’m real sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Got to run._

As Cas is reading, another text comes in.

**DEAN:** _I mean it, I really wanted to see you again tonight. No interruptions this time, though._

Cas sits there blushing. He knows what Dean was referring to. He cursed the door, which had turned out to be Sam’s brother. Now, he’s got a few days until he maybe sees Dean again. “Patience is a virtue.” He mumbles to himself.

 

* * *

 

Dean groans. _He was in the shower?! You just can’t say stuff like that, Cas._

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dean was tired. He stayed at the station for 72 hours. They had a number of odd jobs thanks to the rain. A few rescues, nothing too daring, and thankfully no one was seriously injured on the company or otherwise. Rescue 1 has a longstanding history in FDNY, and they covered most of Manhattan. Dean was overjoyed when he got accepted after rigorous training and testing. It also helped that Uncle Bobby was his Captain.

Bobby Singer wasn’t Dean’s biological uncle, but might as well have been. He’d grown up with John Winchester, despite being a few years older. They also served together as Marines, yet while John remained after his initial tour, Bobby moved to NYC and became a firefighter. He’d never admit it, but fire engine red was always Bobby's favourite colour. Though they had travelled a lot in their youth, the boys always considered Kansas home, and kept in touch with Bobby throughout their lives.

When John chose to go back into active duty after 9/11, Dean had to step up in taking care of his family. Bobby had been injured and he moved in with the Winchesters for a bit to recover. Something he was not happy about. Bobby in a wheelchair is not a happy Bobby. So when Dean had moved to NYC, Bobby was his first call.

Dean walked the few avenues to the Port Authority Station to hop on the train home. He luckily found a seat, though it being late Wednesday morning, it wasn’t that hard. The first train to come was the C. He’d have to transfer at 168th, but he was too tired to care. His eyes fluttered shut and he was dead to the world.

Cas had gotten a few texts from Dean over the past few days. Mostly reminders of basic fire safety, which he assumed had to deal with what he was doing at the moment. Cas always responded with a “Thank you, Dean” or something similar. Cas thought it very endearing.

The C train arrived at Columbus Circle. Cas picked up his Whole Foods bags and boarded the car. He scanned for an empty seat when a big smile grew on his lips. Head leaned against the window with a FDNY duffel at his feet, Dean Winchester was asleep.

Cas carefully walked over. He debated between sitting next to him or the perpendicular seat. Dean looked so peaceful sleeping. _Must have just come off duty._ Cas thought to himself. He didn’t want to be a creepy stalker. _Too late._ He mused, as he had already been painting in nothing but shades of green for the past few days. He therefore decided to go big or go home, and sat right next to Dean. The sleeping firefighter/musician shifted in his seat. It was as if he unconsciously knew Cas was there and moved slightly closer.

Cas let Dean sleep, but didn’t want him to miss his stop. He remembered Dean saying he lived in Washington Heights. As Cas had nowhere to be today, his classes being all but over, he decided to remain on the train. _I’ll wake him up just before 168th, just in case._ He thought, and busied himself trying his best not to stare at the sleeping form beside him.

A short while later they pulled out of 155th Street. Cas leaned over and spoke, “Dean.” The sleeping man grumbled a bit, but no response. Cas gingerly laid a hand on him, and shook Dean. “Wake up, Dean.”

His eyes fluttered open and he dragged a hand over his face. Looking to his left with a sleepy expression that turned into a smile he spoke. “Cas?”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas said softly. “I waited to wake you as long as I could, as I didn’t know your stop.”

A confused look crossed Dean’s face, he looked around, his eyes settling on Cas and the bags at his feet. “Where are we?”

“The next stop is 163rd Street.” Cats said, still keeping his gravelly voice as soft as possible.

“I’ve to transfer at 168th, I’m up on 181st Street.” Dean said around a yawn, “Wait, why didn’t you get off the train?” Realising Cas had a couple of bags of groceries with him.

Cas tilted his head to the side. “You were sleeping and I was in no rush to get home.”

At this Dean smiled, this was probably the sweetest thing ever. Dean stamped down the “chick flick moment” currently running through his brain, and cleared his throat. “Thanks, man. But you have groceries.”

Cas shrugged. “It is not of import.”

Dean bit back a laugh. He liked how formal Cas spoke. It was adorable. “Well, the least I can do is offer you lunch, if you’re in no rush to get home. We can stick the perishables in my fridge.”

Cas gave Dean a sheepish smile. “I would like that very much. Thank you, Dean.”

They spent the rest of the trip talking about a few of the rescues Dean had over the past three days. Dean even took both of Cas’s shopping bags to carry, as well as his own duffel, despite Cas’s protests.

They walked towards Riverside Drive. Dean had saved up and bought this apartment his second year in NYC, after complaining about rent hikes. With a small loan for Bobby and his parents (which he had paid back ahead of time, thank you very much), he was able to buy it for himself and Sam. It needed work, which Dean and Sam did themselves, but it was home.

They took the elevator up to 4, as Dean was telling Cas about a SCUBA rescue he was involved with last summer. Dean dug his keys out of his pocket and walked into the apartment. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

If there was ever an understatement, Cas was sure that was definitely one of them. The hallway had beautiful exposed brick. “That’s Sam’s room to the left, along with the bathroom. Kitchen and living room are just ahead.” Dean said dropping the Whole Foods bags on the sideboard just inside the kitchen. “My room is just to the right.” Cas nodded and followed, too curious not to see where Dean slept.

His bedroom was immaculately clean. The furniture was very rustic, and his bedsheets were plaid. There was a leather club chair in the corner near the wooden framed window. The room smelled like whiskey, smoke, and was quite woodsy overall. It was the perfect mix both visually and olfactory that described Dean. Though Cas’s apartment was at least twice the size of Dean’s, it never felt homey, not like this.

“I think you underestimate yourself, Dean. This is a beautiful home.” Cas said looking at Dean.

Dean dropped his bag on his bed, and did his best not to blush. “Uh, thanks, Cas.” There was another pause as they stared at one another until Dean cleared his throat. “So, lunch?” Cas nodded and followed Dean to the kitchen.

Dean put away any perishable goods from Cas’s grocery bags and pulled out fixings for sandwiches. “Is turkey okay? You’re not vegan or allergic to anything are you?” Dean called over his shoulder.

“Yes, that’s fine. No allergies, and I’m not picky when it comes to food.” Cas said trying not to stare at Dean’s ass as he bent over pulling things out of a lower fridge shelf. _He really shouldn’t be allowed to wear jeans like that._ Cas thought to himself.

Dean breathed a silent sigh of relief and turned from the fridge with an armload of fixings. “Take a seat on the couch. Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Dean said pulling the lettuce out of its bag.

“I’m afraid, I don’t watch many movies, or any in fact, so I would have no preference in regard to what we watch.” Cas said simply.

Dean stopped midway through slicing a tomato. “Wait, you don’t watch movies? Like ever?” Cas nodded. “So like, you’ve never seen ‘Star Wars’ or ‘Indiana Jones’ or ‘Avengers’ or anything.”

Cas nodded again. “That is correct. I tend to listen to music, paint, and read. I don’t even recall the last movie or television show I watched.”

Dean was flabbergasted. He had a pop culture virgin standing right in front of him. It was too good to be true. “Well,” Dean said smiling, “we better get you started.”

They sat down on the dark green sofa, sandwiches in hand. Dean had also brought a beer for each of them, that were now settled on the coffee table. Cas sat waiting to eat, as is poilte, while Dean pulled out a DVD from the cabinet that held a large television.

“Might as well start with the classics.” He said holding up ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’. Cas nodded along, as he didn’t recognise the cover anyway. “You’ll love this.”

Dean sat next to Cas, not too close, but not too far either. There were a scant few inches between them. In fact, this is the farthest they had ever sat apart when sitting side-by-side.

Dean tore into his sandwich as Cas ate a little more elegantly. Dean kept glancing over at Cas, watching for reactions. Cas was enraptured with the film, which made Dean smile.

As the film continued, Dean’s eyelids started to get heavy again. By the time the Millenium Falcon escapes the Death Star, Dean was out cold. This time, with his head on Cas’s shoulder, as they had shifted closer on the couch in the meantime.

Cas smiled and looked down at Dean. There was a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. He gently laid his head on top of Dean’s until he too fell asleep.

An hour or so later, with the main screen menu playing on repeat, Sam came home. He walked into the living room, and immediately did two things: slapped a hand over his mouth so not to wake the sleeping pair and pulled out his phone to take a photo.

He turned and went to his room closing the door behind him, finally letting out a laugh.

**SAM:** _I told you Dean was a cuddler._

He sent the photo of Cas, his arms wrapped around Dean, with Dean’s face nuzzled right into Cas’s neck, and an arm draped over the painter's midsection.

**ADAM:** _Hahahahaha_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my awesome beta, jesh14: http://jesh14.tumblr.com/
> 
> Three things regarding the fic:
> 
> 1) Rescue 1 is at 530 West 43rd Street in Manhattan.
> 
> 2) This is Dean & Sam's apartment. Dean's room is EXACTLY as pictured. The living room and Sam's room are a bit different. Also, Dean gave Sam the bigger room. Awww... http://streeteasy.com/building/880-west-181-street-manhattan/4e
> 
> 3) This is the sofa (in Fern) with the chaise on the left when seated, like the sofa currently pictured in the flat: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/furniture-sectional-sofas/lounge-sectional-sofas/


	7. Chapter 7

Dean was happy. He was comfortable. He was snuggled up to something warm. He was… Dean’s eyes snapped open. He didn’t move, but saw his arm wrapped around Cas, and felt Cas’s arm over his shoulder. He felt the stubble of Cas’s cheek against his face and a head resting gently on his own. Their legs were slightly intertwined as they stretched out over on the coffee table. _I fell asleep. I fell asleep on Cas. Cas fell asleep on me._ His brain was trying to process all of this when he caught noise coming from the kitchen. _Sam._ He thought. _Shit._

Dean tried to gently extricate himself from Cas, which was a lot more difficult than initially anticipated. He really did not want to hear any snide remarks from his brother. As Dean finally managed to get his feet free without disturbing Cas, Sam walked in with the biggest shit-eating grin Dean had ever seen.

“Didn’t want to wake you. I just stopped in to get my stuff for the gym and a snack. I’m staying over at Jess’s tonight, just in case you needed some privacy.” Sam said holding back what was sure to be giggles.

Dean glared at his younger brother. “Sam…”

“Don’t get up on my account, see you and your boyfriend later.” Sam said with a wink and took a bite of the granola bar he was holding. He smiled again and left the apartment, duffle tossed over his shoulder.

As the front door closed, a little louder than necessary, Cas stirred on the couch. Dean turned and watched as Cas started to wake up. The blue-eyed man had been privy to seeing what Dean looked like when he woke up on the train early, and now it was Dean’s turn. Cas opened his eyes gingerly, and stretched his arms over his head. The low slung jeans he wore rode down giving Dean a hint of hair above orange boxer briefs, and Cas’s paint splattered blue henley raised up to reveal angular hip bones. Dean’s eyes did their best not to widen in awe.

Dean licked his lips out of habit. “Mornin’, Cas.” 

Cas turned his head, still leaning back on the couch at Dean. “I’m quite sure it’s afternoon by this point. Did you sleep well?”

Dean swallowed. “Yeah, I did. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

Cas nestled further into the couch staring at Dean. “That’s quite all right. You were tired.”

Dean look back at Cas. _What is he doing?! Is he trying to give me a heart attack?! He’s trying to burrow into the damn couch and looks frickin’ adorable doing it. I didn’t think his hair could get any…_ Dean stopped himself mid thought. He hadn’t even gone on a date with the guy, let alone kissed him, but they’d already fallen asleep together. Things seemed so backward.

Cas tilted his head looking at Dean. He could tell that Dean was thinking way too hard for his own good. Granted Cas wasn’t the best with social interaction, but it seemed easy to tell what Dean was thinking most of the time. Right now, he knew that Dean was probably trying to make this situation less awkward for the both of them. Lucky for Cas, he was used to awkward situations.

“Dean.” Cas said, his deep voice still raspy from sleep.

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean said his eyes boring into Cas’s.

“May I—“ 

_Ramble on and now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song..._

Dean’s phone rang loudly from his bedroom. _Motherfucker._ He got up and stalked over to his room, ready to tear whomever called a new one.

Cas frowned slightly, and went to the bathroom after watching Dean walk away.

Dean picked up the phone. “What?!”

“Hello to you too, asshole.” Adam said over the line. 

“What do you want? I’m busy.” Dean said gruffly.

“Oh, I know, canoodling with your boyfriend. I’ll make this quick. I got an email today about that internship I wanted at AMNH. Just wanted to see if I could crash at yours for the interview next week.” Adam said, clearly smiling over the phone.

_How the fuck did Adam know about Cas?!_ “Sam.” He said quietly. 

“Yes, he’s a great photographer. I’m sure Mom would love to see his amateur work as well.” Adam said, not even trying to hide the glee in his voice anymore.

“Adam. Don’t you dare.” Dean said gripping the phone tighter, imagining throttling his youngest brother.

“I can be bribed.” Adam said.

Dean sighed. “Send me your demands. I have to go. And yes, you can stay.”

"Say 'hi' to your boyfriend for me!" Adam yelled over the phone.

"He's not my--" A voice from behind cut him off.

"Dean?" It was Cas, which made Dean jump.

Laughter erupted from the phone, which Dean promptly hung up. "Dammit, Cas. Make some noise when you walk or we're going to have to get you a bell."

"Sorry." He said furrowing his brow. The anger Dean had from the phone call dissipated.

"It's okay, Cas. It was just Adam being a dick." Dean said in a reassuring voice.

"Adam?" Cas said tilting his head.

He has got to stop doing that or I cannot be held accountable for the consequences. "Yeah, my youngest brother. He's back in Kansas at KSU. Just letting me know he was visiting next week." Great timing he has, too. "You were going to ask me something, right?" Dean asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yes, right." Cas said a bit flustered. He has finally talked himself into kissing Dean. When he had woken up, seeing Dean with his hair askew, and still feeling the ghost of his body that was tucked into Cas while they slept, it had given Cas the courage to ask for a kiss.

Now, Cas was too nervous. The moment felt lost, but the awkward pause and the, for lack of a better phrase, eye fucking was back. Because, let's be honest, two people don't stare at each other this much of their minds aren't going to a place so eloquently named 'the gutter'.

"Yes, I was going to ask, may I take you to dinner? It's still early yet, but I still have to stop home and put away my groceries." Cas said, trying to save himself.

Dean smiled. He was kind of hoping Cas was going to ask something else, but at least this is a step in the right direction. "Sure, but I'm taking you to dinner. I asked first." Dean said with a smile.

"Of course." Cas said nodding.

"Be back here around six?" Dean said checking his watch. That gave him a little over three hours. He could put something together by then, now that he know Cas isn't fussy about his food.

"That is acceptable. I'll grab my groceries and see you in a bit." Cas said slowly turning towards the kitchen. 

Dean helped Cas repack his bags, "Are you sure you don't want me to help you to the subway?" He said lifting an eyebrow.

"No, but thank you. I'm more than capable of carrying a few bags of food." Cas said not realising Dean's true purpose in asking. Apparently Cas was still missing a few social skills when it came to Dean.

"Oh, okay." Dean said trying not to sound down about it. _You are seeing him again in a few hours, loser. Nut up!_

Dean walked him to the door, opening it while letting Cas walked past. "So, see you in a bit, then."

Cas gave Dean a small smile. "Yes, see you soon."

Cas couldn't deal with anymore awkward staring or he was going to ravish Dean in the doorway, manners be damned. So he quickly turned on his heel and made his was to the elevator, which thankfully opened without him pressing the button. 

A striking brunette woman with a boy who was about four years old exited walking the other direction of Dean's apartment. Cas let them pass, and looked at Dean, nodding again before stepping into the lift.

Dean closed the door finally. _I am so leaving my phone on silent tonight._


	8. Chapter 8

Cas hopped in a cab back from Dean's, rather than taking the train home to make it that much quicker, but mostly so he could Google "Where to buy men's clothes in NYC". As he had decided involving Gabriel would be a bad idea. Cas dropped his groceries off and immediately left his apartment. He needed clothes that didn't make him look like a Jackson Pollock painting. 

He headed over to Columbus Circle, where he had been hours earlier and went to the shops upstairs, and went to the men's section of J. Crew. There was no way (though he could afford it) he was going to spend money on 5th Avenue. He at least knew better than that. Besides, most of his current clothes came from thrift stores anyway, so buying something new in the first place was a step up.

He picked out a few items haphazardly. A store employee noticed the somewhat crazed look in Cas's eyes as he stared intently at the dress shirts. "Hey, can I help you?" She said with a smile.

Cas turned his head to look at her. Her name tag read Jenny. "I need clothes."Cas said looking at the pile he had amassed in his hand.

"Okay, anything specific you're looking for?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I have a date. It's our first. He's... He's..." Cas couldn't explain the magnitude of this, he didn't even know. He just knew that is was important. Dean was important. "...important."

Jenny's small smile turned into a full on grin. "If he has you this flustered, I'm sure of it. Well, I'm going to assume from the stash of clothes you've got already, you need a full on outfit." Cas nodded in response. “Awesome. I’m Jenny.”

“Castiel.” He said trying to offer a hand through the clothes in his arms.

After traipsing through the entire men's section, Cas stepped out of the dressing room. Jenny whistled. "Damn. If there isn't a second date then he ain't worth it. You look good, Castiel."

Cas turned to see himself in the mirror, then looked back at Jenny and smiled.

 

* * *

 

Dean's room was no longer immaculately clean; there were clothes everywhere. He sat on the edge of his bed in black boxer briefs staring at the clothes surrounding him. He had already showered, shaved, and cleaned the already spotless apartment again, just in case. He also sat down with his bass for a while to calm down. To say he was nervous would be an accurate assumption, though Dean would never admit it.

He had already decided on a pair of dark jeans (with no holes, which was harder to find than he thought) that hugged his butt quite well. He was now fixated on his top. He had already nixed the idea of a patterned shirt, which would have been plaid. Up until 15 minutes ago, Dean had never realised how much plaid he actually owned. It was quite an eye opener.

He checked the weather again on his phone.

He ended up choosing a light grey shirt, green striped tie, and black blazer. He rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and blazer slightly, letting his tattooed arm peak through between the cuff and his watch. He had a few leather straps on the other wrist. He’d grab his green peacoat on the way out considering the rain had not let up and it had gotten colder. _It's supposed to be June_ , Dean mused. He doused himself with a bit of cologne. Sam had gotten him one that was called Whiskey from Sephora the last time he got all of hair product (Sam is such a girl), as a joke (it being what Dean usually drank), but he ended up really liking it.

Dean glanced at his watch. Somehow it was 5:50pm. "Fuck." Dean said aloud.

He barely had his boots tied before the buzzer rang. Cas was early. _Of course._ He buzzed Cas up and looked at himself one more time in the bathroom mirror. There was a knock at the door.

Dean took a breath and opened it to see Cas standing there. Immediately Dean was glad he took that breath, because all the oxygen got sucked out of the room. Cas stood there in a white striped shirt with the collar a bit open, a vest, and a dark pair of jeans with black Blundstones. This was all layered under the tan trench coat that he had worn both earlier today, and the day they met. His hair was standing up everywhere, as if he’d been running his hair through it constantly.

“Hey, Cas.” He squeaked out, his voice actually managing to sound normal.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas said with a hint of a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to both jesh14 and jenpen for their assistance with this chapter. Check them both out on tumblr!
> 
> http://jesh14.tumblr.com & http://jenpen.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> Also these are their date clothes:
> 
> Cas (with his ever present trench coat) - https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7b/8e/ad/7b8eada61d27e8b940026cd8363e6f06.jpg
> 
> Dean - Outfit - https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1b/a7/6c/1ba76c016f8c304201ee7696d4f59867.jpg  
> Dean - Tie - https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5c/ed/53/5ced53727542ed50a0b15aff72ef5360.jpg  
> Dean - Jacket - http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/49349/bridge-pea-coat
> 
> PS, the next chapter is REALLY long, so I might not get it up until tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING OF PAST INJURY AND SELF-HARM.

Cas tried his best not to gawk. He'd seen Dean in jeans and a flannel the first time they met. He saw him in a hoodie and jeans earlier today. But for some reason, standing there, knowing that Dean took the time to look that good just for him... Cas bit back a moan. Dean belonged on the cover of a magazine, not as Cas's date. 

Dean cleared his throat. That gravel and rock salt voice was just part of his undoing that would surely be a long night of trying not to box Cas into a dark corner and skip a few steps in their courtship.

"So, you ready?" Dean said, finally breaking the thick silent tension between the two.

"Of course." Cas said with a hint of a smile.

Dean grabbed his jacket, his wallet already in his back pocket, and shut the door behind him. He locked the door depositing his keys in an inside pocket. He turned and gestured Cas to the elevator ahead of him.  _Always a gentleman._

If both Dean and Cas thought standing in the doorway was nerve racking, it was nothing compared to the elevator. They kept glancing at one another with shy smiles. 

They walked towards the subway bumping shoulders once or twice. Should have had him meet me at the restaurant. Why did I drag him back up here just to go back downtown? Dean asked himself, but another voice, which sounded suspiciously like either Sam or Adam, he couldn't tell at this point in his delirium. Because it meant extra time together, bitch. God, you haven't even known the guy a week, let alone kissed him, and you are so gone. It's like you're fifteen with your first crush. Next thing you know you'll start doodling his name with little hearts.

Dean was about ready to strangle both his brothers when he saw them next, just on principle.

"Where are we going?" Cas asked as they headed to the train station.

"Red Rooster. I've been meaning to go, but never had the occasion. They've got a burger called the ‘Triple-Double' that sounds awesome." Dean says nearly salivating at the thought.

"Mmmm, I'd have to agree." Cas moaning softly in response.

Dean closed his eyes for a second and took a breath. If Cas starts making noises like that, Dean was not going to make it.

The rain had briefly let up, but it was still cold out. They took the A train to 125th Street, not bothering to sit. Cas leaned against one of the doors while Dean held onto one of the overhead rails nearby. Their bodies were a respectable distance apart, but their coats occasionally brushed one another.

“So, did you grow up in NYC, then?” Dean asked trying to fill the void in conversation.

“Yes, here and Boston. I went to school in London at the Royal Academy of Arts.” Cas said flatly.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. I don’t know much about art, but that sounds impressive.”

Cas gave a hint of a smile. “It is regarded as such, but it’s just a school in the end. Life experience is also quite important.”

Dean nodded. “Well, I went to KSU like the rest of my family. Pre-med.” 

Cas tilted his head. “You were studying to become a doctor?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, but life doesn’t always go as planned.” He said trying to end the conversation. He didn’t want to get into that for now. Luckily, he was saved by the subway arriving at 125th Street.

They walked over a few blocks, with their shoulders bumping occasionally. 

Dean had never been to Red Rooster, and Cas had never heard of it. Benny, one of the guys from the firehouse, took his wife here quite often. As Benny’s culinary talents nearly rivalled Dean’s, he was inclined to take the recommendation.

Dean held the door as Cas stepped inside. The hostess looked up and smiled at them. “Good Evening,” she said smiling, “do you have a reservation?

“Winchester.” Dean said returning the smile. Cas looked around taking in the atmosphere. It was a very homey restaurant, with a rounded bar and chalkboard menus. 

“Yes, I have a table for two at 6:30pm. Just follow me. I can take your coats.” She said leading them further inside.

Cas took out his chair and sat before Dean could play the gentleman again. “Your waiter will be with you shortly.” The smiling woman said, and walked back to her post, leaving menus in front of both men, as well as a coat check ticket.

“I like it here.” Cas said.

“Good.” Dean said smiling in relief.

The server came over quite quickly. "Good Evening, gentlemen. I'm Suzy Lee, I'll be your server. Can I get you anything to drink?"

Dean looks at the menu, "Um Laguinitas." He says glancing at Cas who nods his head. "Two. And some water. Thanks." Dean says smiling at Suzy Lee. She gives him a big grin back, trying to be flirty. 

Dean notices, but can't be bothered when six foot of adorable is sitting across from him staring so hard at the menu like he's trying to set it on fire.

"You okay over there, Cas?" The blue-eyed man looked up. Cas didn't like the attention their server gave Dean, but when he looked up he realised Dean had a concerned look on his face.

"I'm fine, Dean. Just deciding." Cas said shifting the menu.

"Well, I'm going for that burger. Not really date food, but I'm a creature of habit. I only have my preferences and I stick to them." He said, smirking at Cas. He was trying to tell Cas subtly that he wasn't interested in the waitress.

"And your preferences are?" Cas said, not exactly catching on.

"I didn't use to have any, but I'm kind of partial to dark hair and blue eyes at the moment." _Lay it on thick, Winchester._ He said grinning at Cas.

Cas's eyes went a bit wide and he began to blush. 

Suzy Lee came back, only acknowledging Dean. "Here are your drinks, are you ready to order?"

Dean glanced at Cas again, who was peeking over his menu. "I'll have the triple-double, medium. What about you, babe?"

With that one word, Suzy Lee's face fell and Cas nearly spit out the water he was sipping. "Um, the same please. Thank you."

Their server nodded, she had turned down her smile a bit. "No problem." Glancing one more time at Dean, whose eyes were glued to Cas, and left.

"Thank you, Dean."

"For what?" He asked picking up his beer, and motioning Cas to do the same for a toast. Cas looked at him quizzically as they clinked glasses. "We are on a date, Cas. Besides, like I said, not my type."

"So you're..."

"Bi, but she still ain't my type. You?"

"I am indifferent to sexual orientation, despite my limited experience." Dean quirks an eyebrow at this and files it away for future reference.

"So, the person who recommended the restaurant…" Cas trailing off hoping for Dean to fill in the name.

“Benny." Dean said.

"Benny. He works with you?"

"Yeah, Captain Singer, then Lt. Cain, then my shift is usually Benny, Jo, Vic, Richie, Lee, Gads, Murph, Ash, and Charlie, our probie. Though I consider them all family, even the Lieu who's a hard ass. I mean, there are 25 of us in total at the house, and they’re all family.”

Cas nods. "That must be nice to have people like that." 

"Our lives are in each other's hands, so yeah.” Dean said with a shrug.

Conversation shifts to Cas's work, and the art show he was at Saturday night when they met. Cas is discussing one of Kevin's pieces when their food arrives. The burgers look amazing. Before Dean can say anything, Cas is already biting into his. 

"Mmmmm, these make me very happy." He says around his burger. Dean smiles and tucks into his own. _Seriously, the noises he makes._ _Two can play at that game._

Cas watches Dean eat and thinks about the similar noises coming from Dean's side of the table. He stops mid-bite just to give Dean his full concentration. _Not fair_ , he says to himself believing Dean is making such noises on purpose. Cas is half right.

There is no conversation, just pornographic sounds. Another round of beer and the rest of their burgers later, they finally start speaking English again.

“Man, that was good.” Dean says wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“I concur.” Cas says, Dean smiling a little bit at Cas’s word choice. _So formal._

“Dessert?” Dean asks. Please say yes. They have pie on the menu.

“I believe I could be tempted.” Their plates are cleared, as Suzy Lee returns with dessert menus.

“Dessert, gentlemen?” She asks.

“I’ll have the pie.” Dean says not even looking at the menu, as he looked it up online earlier.

Cas scanned the list, “I will have the Red Rooster Doughnuts, please.” He handed the menu back with a smile.

“Coffee as well?” She asked taking the menu from Cas.

“Café Au Lait.” Cas responded. He hadn’t had any coffee today, so it was safe.

“Black.” Dean said.

Cas smiled softly, “This has been quite enjoyable, Dean.”

“Night ain’t over yet. Dessert, then there is this bar a few blocks away that I think you might like.” Cas’s eyebrows were raised. He wasn’t sure if the night was going well, but Dean’s insistence on it continuing was a good sign.

“Oh?” He commented, finishing the last of his beer.

“Yeah, this one got recommended by Vic. He lives nearby, and goes there a lot. We all tend to stick to Harvelle’s on 10th Avenue downtown most nights off, but I’d rather not take you there on our first time out.” Dean said taking another sip of his beer. He had a bit left, but chose to finish it then. _God, could you imagine. So glad I decided not to take Cas there. The amount of questioning. The looks. They_ _’d never leave the poor guy alone. Talk about a disastrous first date. I don_ _’t want to spook him too early._

Cas just sat there and blinked at Dean. _On our first time out?_ A warm, fuzzy feeling spread across his chest, and he tried not to smile. Instead the corner of his mouth just turned upward trying to be sly.

Their desserts arrived. Dean got the black-bottom peanut pie. It had rum raisin ice cream and roasted peanuts. He wasn’t the biggest fan of raisins, but pie is pie. And despite the dried fruit, it was good. Not Four & Twenty Blackbirds good, but good. _Maybe I_ _’ll take Cas there next time?_

Cas got the doughnuts with sweet potato cream and cinnamon sugar. “I am a fan of cinnamon.” He said forgoing utensils and just biting into the doughnuts. His face was covered in sugar and cream. Dean smiled as he shovelled pie into his mouth.

There were more noises that required at least a PG-13 rating emanating from their table. They finished their food and Dean pulled out his wallet. “Are you sure?” Cas asked.

“I asked you. Now stop asking, and enjoy yourself.” Dean said with finality, and stuck his credit card in the folder and handed it back to Suzy Lee.

“You, uh, have something just there, by the way.” Dean pointing to a spot on his own check expecting Cas to mirror him. Cas started wiping his face, continually missing the splotch of cream.

Before he could stop himself, Dean reached over and wiped it away with his thumb. He then sucked the sweet potato cream off his digit. Cas’s eyes went wide as soon as Dean had moved towards him.

They were staring at each other when Suzy Lee returned. “Well, I hope you guys had a nice dinner.” She said, over her earlier let down. 

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Dean said not breaking eye contact with Cas. he signed the bill and added a tip as Cas stood up and walked towards the coat check. They donned their outerwear and left, Cas holding the door for Dean this time. “Thanks, Cas.” Dean said softly. “We have to go this way.” Dean using his head to give direction, as his hands were firmly shoved into his pockets due to the weather.

It was 10 or so blocks away, walkable on a day with nice weather, but they hopped in a cab instead. The ride was short to 67 Orange Street, and the bar wasn’t too crowded when they arrived.

Dean walked up and grabbed a menu. “See anything you like? If not, I’m sure they can make you something.” In true Cas fashion, he diligently scanned the drinks list. Dean, having foresight yet again, had looked online and already knew what he was having. Dean watched Cas for what seemed like hours, though in reality only a couple of minutes. 

“The Manhattan After Dark.” Dean smiled, and went up to the bar while Cas grabbed a table.

“Get one downstairs, if you can.” There were photos of a comfier and more intimate looking lounge. Dean loved to plan ahead.

He found Cas downstairs at a corner table looking at other people in conversation. “Here ya go. I got their Old Fashioned. Cheers.” They toasted, and each took a sip.

The awkward silence was back. Dean racked his brain for what to say. He liked Cas, but getting him to talk was like pulling teeth. He thought of how Sam said he was tongue tied on his date with Jess. She suggested some question thing she had head about from one of her roommates. “You know, there are these kind of ‘getting to know you’ questions that my brother did on his first date with Jess.”

Cas turned his head to look at Dean. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what they are. There are a bunch of them, 30 I think. I don’t know what they ask, but we could always do that. Beats silence.” Dean said jokingly.

“Okay.” Cas said, pulling out his phone and searching Google with the vague description Dean gave. And that's how Dean agreed even before he knew what he was getting into.

“There are 36 questions. After finishing each set of 12, the participants are supposed to sit and look into one another’s eyes for four minutes.” Cas said reading from his phone. He hadn’t mentioned the title of the study to Dean, ‘The 36 Questions that can help you fall in love.’

Dean took a big sip from his glass. Well we stare enough as it is, how bad could it be? “Okay, shoot.”

“Question 1: Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?”

“Oh, that’s easy, Robert Plant. The stories he would have.” Dean said smiling. Cas tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes. “The lead singer of Led Zeppelin.”

“Oh, I didn’t know any of their names.”

“But you listen to them?”

“Yes, quite often.” 

Dean shook his head smiling. “What about you, Cas?”

“God.” He said flatly.

“Well, that’d be an interesting conversation for sure.” Dean said not wanting to touch that subject with a 20 foot pole.

Cas took the pause as a sign to continue. “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

“Not really, but if I had to, rock star.” Dean said smiling. “I don’t just play the bass, you know.”

“Yes, I remember you mentioning that. Well, as I am sort of famous, the point is moot.”

“What?” Dean croaked, cocktail going down the wrong pipe in shock.

“I am an accomplished painter, Dean.”

“Yeah, that I know. You teach and you paint.”

“Yes, and some of my works have garnered a modicum of success.”

Dean takes out his own phone and searches Cas’s name on the internet. His eyes go wide as he sees the amount of results returned. He clicks the wikipedia page, which has multiple entires in the table of contents. _Well, shit._

Dean begins to read. Castiel Novak aka C. Novak is an American painter, sculptor, printmaker, ceramicist, illustrator, and poet who resides in New York City. He is a well-renowned and respected artist, who is versed in many mediums. He is a recipient of the Young Artist Award as well as the Outstanding Contributions to the Arts Award from Americans for Arts, as well as various foreign and international awards. He was also given a grant from the NEA at the age of 12. With all of his talents both known and unknown to the public, many consider him an modern-day Leon Battista Alberti…

The page continued on talking about Cas’s brilliance and talent, but Dean just sat there in flabbergasted silence. “Wow.” He finally said, looking up.

Cas just shrugged. “Question 3-“

“Wait, we aren’t going to talk about this?”

“I am an artist, but now I mostly teach.”

Dean couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around this, so he left it to process later when he had his laptop in front of him.

“Okay.” He took another sip and signalled Cas to continue. He knew they’d need a few refills soon enough.

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?”

Dean shrugs, “Naw, not really. The only people that I tend to call are family or work.”

Cas nods a bit shyly, “Yes, I’m not that good with people.”

Dean frowns at this. “Hey, I think I’d have to disagree.” Offering Cas a smile.

Cas gives a small smile. “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?”

“Oh, that’s easy. Driving in my dad’s car, a 1967 black 4-door Chevy Impala on a warm day, music blaring, nowhere to be, and with some good company.” Dean winks at Cas. “Not to mention some good burgers and pie. He offered me the car, but I need the truck for the bass, and parking is a bitch in the city. I am this close to breaking though. I miss Baby.”

“Baby?”

“Yeah, that’s her name.” He smiled fondly thinking of the car. “What about you.”

Cas takes a moment, “An eternal Tuesday afternoon flying a kite in the park with someone I care about.”

“Why Tuesday?”

“Though I am named for the Angel of Thursday, I’ve always liked Tuesdays for some reason.” Cas shrugged taking a sip from his glass.

“Huh. I’m named after my grandmother.” Cas raises an eyebrow. “Deanna.”

“When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”

“Well, I sing when I clean, so earlier today. Someone else?” Dean takes a moment. “My mom, for Mother’s Day.”

 “What did you sing?”

“‘Hey, Jude’, she used to sing it to me as as kid, so it’s kind of our song.”

“That is very sweet. I don’t tend to sing. Maybe in the shower? I don’t know. Never to someone else, though.”

“Well, maybe we can change that.” Dean said smiling softly.

Cas blushed, but thankfully it was dark enough for Dean not to notice. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

“Body.” Dean said swiftly.

“Mind.” Cas took another sip. His glass was getting a bit low, as we Dean’s. “Should we get refills?”

As if by magic, a waiter happened by. “Do you do table serivce?” Dean asked. 

“Sure, what can I get you? An Old Fashion and the Manhattan After Dark?” The waiter asked looking at their glasses.

“Yes, thanks.” Dean said. “And some water.” He then turned back to Cas, “Okay, next question.” _These aren_ _’t that bad_ , Dean thought. He remembered Sammy saying they were pretty intense.

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

Spoke too soon. “Um, probably in a fire. Hazard of the job and all.” It was something Dean had accepted. As long as he could save people, he didn’t have much care for his own self-preservation. Cas nodded solemly. “What about you? Some freak paint accident?” Dean said smiling.

“Alone.” Cas refused to meet Dean’s eyes after he responded. It made Dean’s heart break just a bit how Cas could feel that way. Dean didn’t know what to say, but Cas just moved on to the next question.

“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

Dean took this as an opputunity to lighten the mood a bit. “Music tastes, though you still need some education, burgers, and the subway.” He said the last one with a wink.

Cas smiled a bit at Dean’s responses. “We are both artistic, though in different fields, the subway—” 

“Copycat.” Dean said smiling.

“And kindness?”

“Definitely.” Dean said.

The waiter returned with their drinks as Cas asked the next question, “for what in your life do you feel most grateful?”

“Family, blood or not.”

A sad smile crosses Cas’s face quickly, but dissipates. “The ability to inspire.” He takes a sip, finishing off his first drink. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

“Hmmm, well we moved around a lot. My dad was a marine, still is, though he’s technically retired. I think it would have been nice to be in one place. I mean Kansas is home, but I would have liked to have been there more or Texas, or anywhere for a longer period.”

“I wish my family was closer.” Dean gives Cas a questioning look. “I have 5 siblings, but only talk to one of them.”

“Wow, that sucks. Sorry, Cas.”

Again, Cas gives an expression of ‘what can you do’ and moves on. “Okay, take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.”

Dean swallows hard. I hate you, Sammy. _Nair in your shampoo when I get home._ “Um, my mom met my dad at KSU. She had me, and my two younger brothers. My dad was away on deployment a lot. I went to KSU, so did Sammy and Adam. I moved to NYC about five years ago and became a medic, then a fireman. The end.” Dean took a big gulp of his drink, letting it burn his throat.

“What are your parents’ names? Where do they live? You mentioned Kansas.” Cas asks tilting his head.

“Mary and John. Yeah, they live in Lawrence. It’s about an hour from KSU.”

“How old are your brothers? What do they do?”

“Um, Sam’s at Columbia Law doing a JD/PhD, he’s 26. Adam is 19 and sophomore in Mechanical Engineering. Why are you asking all this, Cas?”

Cas shrugs as if the answer is obvious. “It’s important, it’s about you.”

Dean had never once considered anyone to care enough about his family and background to ask after them. He has never considered himself ‘important’. He was taken aback by Cas’s sheer openness and honesty. He looked at Dean as if he was the only person in the room that actually mattered. Dean shifted in his seat, a bit uncomfortable with the attention. “What about you?”

“That was not four minutes, but I’l answer nonetheless, and in a shortened period as well, I guess. My parents Charles and Naomi Novak were from old money and married just after graduating Cambridge. They were both American, but went to school abroad. They had 5 children: Michael, Lucas, Gabriel, Anna, and me. I am the youngest. Michael and Lucas are fraternal twins. Michael is a senator from Massachusetts and Lucas owns a Fortune 500 company. Anna is a professor of Religion and Ethics at Harvard. Gabriel owns a bakery in Chicago. I paint and teach. Being the youngest, I was oft forgotten about, as all of my siblings are significantly older. Gabriel is the only one who I still talk to. We were never really raised as a family, more like soldiers to conquer the world.” Dean reaches over the low table and puts his hand over Cas’s, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Question 12, then we’ve got to do the staring, right?” Dean says trying to shift the mood.

“Yes,” Cas says lifting his phone with the other hand. Dean makes no gesture in moving his that lays on Cas’s closer hand. “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”

Dean sighs, holding Cas’s gaze. “To make sure everyone I try to save lives.”

“To fly.” Cas responds quietly.

They sit there for four minutes, Cas having already set a timer on his phone.

 _This is ridiculous_ , Dean thinks. But as the minutes pass something breaks in Dean. Some of Cas’s answers have touched on something a lot deeper and more gut wrenching than he thought possible. _How could anyone treat him like that? He_ _’s_ _… he_ _’_ _s Cas._ It’s not been a week, but these questions are definitely making an emotional time jump in whatever they have going on between them.

Cas stares into Dean’s green eyes. He knows the colour well by now, having spent the weekend mixing up the perfect paint match. He thinks the title of these questions is apt, but feels he might scare Dean off before they get anywhere, let alone finish them. Cas has already skimmed ahead, and knew some of the ones that were still to come.

The alarm on the phone sounded. They both took a drink. “Are you sure you would care to continue?” Cas asked hesitantly. Dean nodded in the affirmative with a determined look. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“I’d rather not know. So nothing, I’m good.”

“I would ask if I am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path?”

“Why?” Dean asked in a rare moment of curiosity.

“I was supposed to be a soldier. Perfect, like a marble statue. No choice or free will. Choosing my own course of action was confusing and terrifying. I was never meant to be a painter. I was supposed to become something more… cold, but I chose to defy orders, like my brother. I was named for an angel, and I seem to have fallen in every way imaginable.” Cas goes silent offering no more of an answer. 

Dean has still not moved his hand from where it lay over Cas’s earlier. He instead turns Cas’s hand to hold it properly. He also shifts to sit on the bench perpendicular from Cas as opposed to opposite.

“Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”

Dean sighs in slight relief from the more benign nature of this question. “Road trip in the Impala. I just never have the time. Life always gets in the way.

“I have only been to Boston, New York, Washington DC, and London. I would like to see more of the world, but I’d rather share the experience with someone.”

Dean squeezes Cas’s hand. You are in deep, Winchester.

“What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?”

This has probably been the hardest question so far. Cas has shared a lot with him so far, he might as well go all in with the ‘chick flick moment’. “Saving Sam.” Dean takes another big sip from his cocktail, followed by one from the glass of water. “Sam’s a smart kid. Skipped a few grades in high school and college. He got accepted to Columbia Law, and moved out here on his own. He seemed to be doing fine at first. I was back in Kansas, working my way through my first year or two of med school when I got the call.” He takes another sip. “My captain, Bobby, he’s kind of like our uncle. He served with our dad, and was there when he wasn’t. He kept an eye on Sam as best he could, but Sam fell into the wrong crowd. He was a good kid, but made some bad decisions. He met a girl named Ruby, and she got him hooked on some stuff. He nearly died. We had to commit him, send him to rehab, and the school would only take him back if he had a full time family member to keep on top of him. Bobby wasn’t enough, so I dropped out of school and moved here. I was a paramedic back in Kansas, so I had to go through testing and trials with FDNY, first as an EMT, then back to Paramedic. Sammy got clean and went back to school. Bobby needed someone on his Rescue Company, and he knew how to pull some strings, so I took the Fireman’s Exam, and here I am. Sam has been straight edge ever since. He eats nothing but rabbit food, goes to the gym, does yoga, and is sailing through his degree. I came out here and yelled at the kid for hours. He made excuses, but ended up begging and pleading. I don’t regret giving my life up for him. Not one second.”

Cas is taken aback by the honesty that Dean just shared. “I.. um, maybe being able to share my emotions through art since I'm not good at it verbally.” He offers weakly, since it is nothing compared to Dean’s answer. Dean just smiles at Cas in response.

“What do you value most in a friendship?”

“Honesty. “ Dean says quickly not dropping Cas’s gaze.

“Loyalty. “ Cas says in return. He looks down at his phone for the next question. Dean is still holding his other hand. Cas glances up and gets the waiter’s attention and motions to their drinks for refills of both cocktails and water. “What is your most treasured memory?”

“I was four. My mom was making pancakes, she had an argument with my dad. He was leaving again. I was comforting her.”

“I was seven. Gabriel and I ran away from home to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I had never been there before. In reality, it was only for an afternoon, but it seemed like days. I had never truly encountered art before. Gabriel was 15, and already rebelling. I saw a whole new world there. He called me a little fish, and not to let anyone step on me. He said there were big plans in store for me. I guess that’s when I realised that there was a different future available to me.” Cas spoke in a wistful tone. He looked down at his phone and blanched slightly. “What is your most terrible memory?”

“Almost losing Sam.” Dean said flatly.

“It’s probably my parents dying. I don’t remember them all that well. I was young. Michael and Lucas were over 18 when they passed and they resolved to raise the rest of us in what they thought were my parents wishes. Life changed. That’s also around the same time Gabriel and I ran away.” Cas’s shoulders started to sink. Dean moved a little closer and the waiter came back with their third round. Dean started to slow down his drinking pace with the last few questions, so did Cas. “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”

Dean smiled. “Eat more pie.” It's gotten too serious for him, so Dean lightens up the mood, or tries to. Cas laughs a bit. “I don’t know, maybe be more spontaneous. I mean, I love what I do. I had to do what is and was expected of me to help other people. It kind of sucks I didn’t really get a choice, so I made the best of a situation and I’m in a place of acceptance of my lot in life. A little less life-threatening adventure would be nice, though.” He says looking at Cas meaningfully.

“I.. I take chances with my students, with my work, but not when it comes to other people. I’m a bit hesitant. They tend to find me weird, which has caused me to become quite socially introverted. This,” he lifts their clasped hands, “…this is the craziest thing I've done in YEARS **.** So being more outgoing.. Gaining confidence in who I am and being proud of that around other people.” Cas breathes. He has never been so open and honest with someone other than Gabriel. And Dean is a virtual stranger, or at least was a few days ago. “Next question, what does friendship mean to you?”

“Family don’t end in blood.” Dean says offering no further explanation.

“Coming when they call.” Cas says also answering succinctly.

“How many are left, by the way?” Dean asks taking a sip of his drink.

 Cas scrolls down the screen. “Sixteen.”

“We are going to need more food then to keep up with this alcohol.” Dean says. _Hey, might as well keep treading water till I drown._ If this was anyone else, Dean would have probably left running hours ago. There’s just something about Cas that is making Dean latch on tighter.

Cas is just continually floored by Dean. His brain can’t even process anything at this moment more than just keep on going. They flag down the waiter and order another round (though they are still quite topped up), and some food.

Cas continues as Dean squeezes his hand again. “What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

“Well,” Dean begins, “I tend to go at it alone.” He rubs the back of his neck for the first time during the questions. _Why is this one the hardest so far to answer? You_ _’ve spilled your guts already to the guy?_ “But I sorta, like, I don’t know, when I’m around family, blood and not, I kinda feel more purposeful, I’ve got more energy. It's like getting superpowers. It’s difficult to describe the feeling. Yeah, I don’t know how to word it. Like in relation to my job where, where I’m with the people I care about, I can tap into it when it’s important, it's like an adrenaline rush. I don’t know.”

“I don’t think I have very much. I love art and that's it. I care for my students, and there is Gabriel's twisted brand of love, as he is somewhat mischievous on a regular basis. I guess I’m still looking for it?” It is literally killing Dean not to wrap his arms around Cas right now, but this is important. He is now determined to finish these questions. He wants all the answers, no matter what it costs him. He knows if he moves any closer to Cas, he might stop, so Dean offers him a smile.

“Next question, babe.” He says, using the nickname from earlier this evening to scare away the waitress. Cas does his best to hold back both tears and blushing. 

 He clears his throat and continues. “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.”

“I’ll start - Genius.”

“Kind.”

“Attractive.” Dean winks at Cas.

It throws Cas off for a second. “Loyal.”

“Thoughtful.”

“Handsome.” Cas says in a quiet voice. Dean puffs up his chest and smiles. Cas rolls his eyes.

“Artistic.”

“Brave.”

Dean wants to say ‘adorable’, but stops himself. “Dorky.” He says with a smile instead, nudging Cas’s shoulder.

“Humble.”

They smile at one another. “I’m going to hit the head, I’ll be right back.” He says, squeezing Cas’s hand one more time then reluctantly lets go. While Dean is gone, the waiter arrives with fresh drinks and a tray full of food.

Dean comes back to a table laden with deep fried Brussels sprouts, chicken and turkey sliders, and sweet potato fries. “I am going to go as well. You’re more than welcome to start eating without me.”

Dean dismissively waves his hand, “Naw, man. I’ll wait.” Dean picks up Cas’s phone to get a peak at some of the questions coming up. He takes a deep breath and gets ready for them, while making another plan in his head.

When Cas returns they tuck into the grub and continue with the questioning. The food seems to help lighten the mood slightly, as did the small break. 

Cas picks up his phone and reads off the next question. “How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?” 

“I think we kind of covered this, but very and probably.”

“I agree, so, not at all and probably worse.” They had both reached a level of acceptance with the harsh answers they have uncovered so far. Nothing seemed out of bounds anymore. Cas popped a Brussels sprout in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?”

“Awesome.” Dean said with a mouth full of sweet potato fries.

Cas laughed. “She never cared for me that much, I don’t think.” He shrugged, it not hurting like it used to. “That was question 24. We have to stare again.” He said setting the timer.

Dean shifted so his knee was on the cushioned bench facing Cas, who did the same. This time their staring was not silent. They giggled a bit, made funny faces, blindly reached for food to eat. The four minutes seemed to whiz past.

“Home stretch.” Dean said, taking a sip of his drink. His buzz had come and gone with the water and refuelling his belly with food.

“Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling …’” Cas said.

“Okay, we both take the C train sometimes. We are both in this room feeling like this question thing was a bad idea.” He said with a small laugh. He opened his mouth to come up with a third, but Cas interjects.

“We are both in this room feeling like these questions were a good idea.” He says earnestly.

Dean starts to get nervous again, the levity gone for a moment. He rubs the back of his neck, “That’s three, let’s move on.”

“Dean.” Cas starts to chastise.

“Next question, Cas.” 

Cas sighs, but complies. “Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

“Mornings with.” Dean says.

“I agree.” He says simply, lifting his drink to his lips. “If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.”

Dean knew this was coming. Despite the brief hesitation a moment ago, he knew that he had to tell Cas this. Especially after everything the guy had told him. Dean dragged a hand over his face. _Ugh._ “Early on in the job, there was a bad fire. We lost a member of the crew. I tried… I tried saving her, but I couldn’t. I got a full thickness burn over my whole arm. That's why I have my sleeve.” Dean takes off his blazer and rolls up his shirt sleeve even more so Cas can peer closer at his tattoo. Amidst the music, religious imagery, and pop culture there are hints of scars that cover the skin beneath. Cas runs his fingers gently over Dean’s arm. Dean shivers slightly in response.

Not pulling his eyes away from examining the extremity, Cas begins to speak. “When I was 17, as I became really well know, I tried to commit suicide. I swallowed nearly a whole bottle of anxiety medication. Gabriel found me, took me to the hospital. I was in a bad place at the time. With family. With life. I haven’t tried since. I resolved never to get that low again, regardless of circumstance.”

Dean placed his hand on Cas’s shoulder and squeezed, offering a smile. “Good.”

Cas gave a small smile in return. “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.” 

Dean broke into a wide grin. “Your hair. It’s always all over the place.” He reaches up and runs a tentative hand through it. Cas closes his eyes and leans a bit into Dean’s palm. Dean licks his lips and drops his hand back to grab his drink. “What about you, dude?”

Cas opens his eyes and looks directly at him. “I think you have eyes the most beautiful shade of green, Dean.”

Shit, and now we are back to this. I honestly don’t know if I’m scared or horny at this point, Dean thought to himself. 

“Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

At this Dean laughs again. “Let’s just say it involves my brothers and some duct tape in unfortunate places.” Cas tilts his head and looks at Dean quizzically.

“I shall be as equally cryptic then, mine involves a naked run through campus and some body paint.”

“Really now?” Dean raises an eyebrow.  _Definitely horny,_ he thinks.

Cas purses his lips and moves onto the next question. He frowns slightly. “When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

 _Ugh, more emotional crap. I should have read the rest of the questions better._ “When I burned my arm and Katie died. Kate Sheridan. She was a probie, originally from Washington and her favourite book was ‘The Lord of the Flies’. Michael, her boyfriend, still stops by every once and a while. Don’t think I’ve cried by myself in a while, maybe not since then, I’m not sure.” He pops a few fries into his mouth.

 “I cried in front of Gabriel after I tried… when I was 17. After. And by myself,” Cas takes a pause, and looks away from Dean again. “The night before I met you.” He says quietly.

Dean takes the phone from Cas’s hand and reads off the next question. “Tell your partner something that you like about them already.”

A smile comes across Dean’s face and he reaches out and lifts Cas’s chin with a finger. “I like how you think differently from other people, Cas. When you could've made an overcompensation joke that first time we met, you instead went about saying something nice about me. It's refreshing. And uncommon but something I appreciate. A lot.”

Cas smiles a bit sheepishly. “I liked the fire safety texts you sent me while you were at work.” Dean leans back, clutching his chest, letting his whole body laugh at that answer. Cas tentatively, joins in until they are both laughing hard. They wipe tears from their eyes as Cas snatches the phone again. “Well, talk about drastic change of pace.” He comments. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

“Sexual assault.” Dean says with seriousness. Cas nods in agreement.

“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”

“I’d tell Sam that I was proud of us. Despite everything.”

“I’d say something similar to Gabriel. I’d tell him that I appreciate him, though he’d probably just stick a whoopee cushion under me and run off cackling.” Dean smiles and laughs a bit, so does Cas. “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?”

Dean takes another sip of his drink. “Um, so I have this stuffed dog I got from my mom when I was four, right around the time he left again. I still have him. My mom said he was meant to watch over me. He’s named Angel.”

Cas does all he can not to get all sappy at that moment, but it’s hard. “I’m not a materialistic person, but I guess a painting I finished over the weekend. It took quite some time to perfect.” He smiles looking at Dean, knowing the shade of green by heart. “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?”

“No matter how close I am to Sammy, Adam, or my Dad, or even anyone at work, I’d say my Mom. She’s important.” Dean says nodding as he speaks.

“As you know, I am not in much contact with my family, but I guess my brother Gabriel, as he is the one I’m closest to.” Cas says, looking quickly away. “Last question: Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.”

Dean takes another sip of his drink. Ever since he looked at the questions while Cas was in the bathroom, he knew this one was coming. He went back and forth on what he was going to ask, but he’s determined at this point. "So there’s this… person. I like them, and I kind of want to kiss them, but I’m not sure if it’s going to be reciprocal.” 

Cas’s face falls.  _After all of this I still fucked up_ , Cas thinks to himself. He sighs looking up at Dean. Cas is a bit confused and saddened, but before he can respond, Dean lets out a frustrated noise and grabs the back of Cas’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s no more than a mash of lips against one another, clumsy at best. A wave of bliss, relief, and want rush over Dean. He’s been waiting for this for hours, possibly days, maybe even before he met Cas. The only problem is Cas’s lips aren’t moving.

Dean lets out a resigned sigh and pulls back. Cas just sits there in shock. Dean opens his mouth to apologise, thinking he got everything wrong, but suddenly Ca grabs Dean’ tie and pulls him back in. This time the sigh Dean releases is one of contentment. The kiss includes little nips at each others lips until Cas licks Dean’s bottom lips asking for entry. Their mouths opens and whatever walls were left from those questions have crumbled and fallen away. Neither know how long they explore the depths of one another’s mouths until they pull back for air.

Cas blinks and looks at Dean with a straight face, while the other man is softly panting. “I had the same question.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MASSIVE thanks to jesh14 & jenpen! Best family, betas, helpers, etc., I could ask for. Those are their tumblr names, so go check them out!
> 
> I wrote this chapter in one day. I was so consuming to write, that the places where they laughed, I laughed. I totally felt like I was a third wheel on this date. There wasn't enough whiskey to cope with writing this, and when I was done, wow, was there some emotional release. 
> 
> Here is the link for the questions: http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-36-questions-that-can-help-you-fall-in-love--gJVkNnfRcg
> 
> The restaurants are real and I haven't been to either, yet.
> 
> Red Rooster: http://redroosterharlem.com
> 
> 67 Orange Street: http://www.67orangestreet.com


	10. Chapter 10

Dean looked at Cas and laughed. “Same question, huh?"

Cas smiled and shrugged.

Dean settled the tab, and they left the bar. It was still cold, but the rain had dissipated. Neither knew the time, but it was probably near 11pm. Dean held the door as they stepped out into the night. Cas glanced skyward until his eyes settled on Dean’s face.

That was the the most emotional date Cas had ever had, let alone the first date he’s had in what was probably years. Cas stood there watching as Dean buttoned up his own coat. “Cas,” Dean said taking a step towards him, “you should really button this thing up. You’ll get cold.” Dean stepped further into Cas’s personal space, and did up his coat. “What?”

A fond smile played across Cas’s lips. “Dean, you needn’t take care of me.”

Dean shrugged. “Shut up.”

Cas’s smile shifted towards something a bit more salacious and took a step closer, pressing his body closer to Dean. “Make me.”

There was barely a height difference between the two, but Dean bent his head down and captured Cas’s lips. He tasted of whiskey and somehow smelled of cinnamon mixed with paint. It was intoxicating to Dean. One hand held Cas’s jaw, feeling the perpetual stubble beneath his fingers. The other was on his waist pulling him closer. Dean licked the seam of Cas’s lips and tilted his head for a deeper kiss.

Cas let out a soft moan, one of his hands held on the lapel of Dean’s coat, as if for dear life, while the other was latched like an underhook on his arm and rested on Dean’s upper back. They stood on the sidewalk kissing until having to pull away for air, but they didn’t separate their bodies. “I think I could get used to that.” Cas said quietly, not opening his eyes yet and letting a small contented smile spread across his lips.

Dean leaned in and kissed the upturned corner of Cas’s mouth. “Definitely.”

Cas’s eyes fluttered open. “Dean,” Cas said softly, “not that I… I mean.”

Dean nodded. “Tonight was, for lack of a better word, intense.” _And I am still going to kill Sammy regardless._

“Yes, and I think I need some rest.” He said looking down. Dean’s hand was still on Cas’s jaw and angled it up.

“Hey, I get it. You’re not the only one with a bit of an emotional tidal wave to sort. But don’t think that this is where it ends. I still have a few thousand or so places that we can go. Well, maybe not that many, but I’ll start a list. I’m sure there will be at least five things on it.” Dean said giving Cas a cheeky smile, which the blue-eyed man couldn’t help but return.

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.” Dean paused. “Now, I’m going to walk you to the subway, then your door.”

“Dean.” Cas said in a warning tone. “I’ll be a gentleman, I swear. Won’t even step a toe inside.” He said raising his hands in surrender. Dean stepped back and offered Cas his arm. “See?” Cas laughed and took it, but they let their hands slip until their fingers were intertwined.

It was only a few blocks to the subway at 110th Street, then only two stops until Cas’s on the C train. Cas leaned against the doors, and Dean leaned against Cas. Neither let anything progress further than that and their clasped hands. This time, the silence was nice, calming even. They quietly walked down Central Park West to The Eldorado. Andy was on duty, he nodded to Cas and Dean as they entered, but didn’t say anything. Even he could tell that they shouldn’t be disturbed.

Dean kissed Cas’s temple as the lift doors closed. Cas let his eyes drift shut at the touch of Dean’s lips. _He is taking care of me, but I shouldn’t allow this. That’s what he needs._ Cas thought to himself, remembering the subtext in Dean’s answers.

The doors opened and they walked towards 10F. Cas pulled out his keys, and unlocks the door. He opens it and turns around to stand in the doorway. Dean stuffs his hands in his jean pockets and looks at Cas.

Taking a breath, Cas reaches out and places his hand on Dean’s jaw, letting his thumb rub the man’s cheek. Dean closes his eyes and lets his head rest in Cas’s palm. Cas takes a step forward into Dean’s personal space, and gently places a kiss on the taller man’s lips. “Goodnight, Dean.” he murmurs.

“Goodnight, Cas.” Dean says, slowly opening his eyes. They smile at each other for another moment, until Cas retreats into his apartment. He closes the door, his eyes on Dean until the last second. Dean continues to stand there for another few seconds, then scrubs a hand down his face. He turns and walks back towards the elevator with a smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluffy coda as an apology for the emotional whiplash of the last chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas woke up to sunshine, as he did not close his curtains the night before.

 _The night before..._ Cas thought with a smile.

So much happened he couldn't even process it. He essentially bared his soul to a stranger, a very attractive stranger, but still. Was Dean even an unknown in his life anymore? After everything they told each other, that was certainly not true.

And then there was the kiss. Or kisses to be exact. The first had taken Cas off guard, and it took his brain a minute to catch up with his lips. The second and third... Heat. Passion. Fire. Cas thought he was going to pass out in pure unadulterated happiness.

But the kisses at Cas's building were different. Dean gently kissing his temple, as a show of care and affection. Cas still couldn't believe that he would warrant it, but that was Dean. Ever the giver. Cas revelled in it, but felt a bit selfish for doing so. All his life Dean put others before himself, without having that safety in return. The kiss that he gave Dean at the door, at least Cas hoped, demonstrated to Dean that he was worthy. He could be saved as well.

Cas checked the time, it was still early. He didn't have class until this afternoon. He dragged himself out of bed to put on shorts and a t shirt. His running shoes were by the front door. He needed to go stretch his legs and think about last night.

Cas knew he was a mess, what used to be a coiled, self-contained introvert, but Dean started to unravel that, even when Cas first saw him Saturday night in Brooklyn.

He knew Dean would be his undoing.

* * *

 

The was a loud clank in the kitchen. Dean groaned. The fridge slammed. Dean grumbled. The blender started whizzing.

"Sammy!" He yelled sticking the pillow over his head. The noise continued.

Dean reluctantly got out of bed and threw open his bedroom door. He now heard voices. Plural.

Jess and Sam were in the kitchen making some god awful healthy breakfast. Everything was green.

"Morning Dean." Jess said looking up and smiling.

"You strike out?" Sam said not even bothering to hold back a grin.

"Bite me, Samantha." Dean said sharply as he hugged Jess hello.

"So," Jess asked excitedly, "how'd it go? Sam said he was a famous painter. And, I quote 'the amount of eye sex between those two makes me want to soundproof my room already'."

Dean grumbled again. "Coffee."

"Spill." Jess said crossing her arms.

"Bacon."

She rolled her eyes. "Dean."

"I will talk about it when there's something to talk about. So leave the Cas questions alone." He said getting defensive.

 _When?_ Sam thought happiley, but relented and audibly sighed. "Fine. You want a smoothie?" He said raising the glass pitcher.

"Pancakes." Dean responded.

* * *

 

After breakfast and a shower, Dean pulled out his acoustic guitar. It was one of a few instruments he has stashed in the apartment. His bass, obviously, and a cello as well. He sold his viola as it didn't get much use since moving to New York.

He started strumming, nothing in particular to start with. He has a week off, the house was spotless, the fridge was full, laundry was done, so there really wasn't much else.

He had always loved music. He had a decent singing voice, but nothing to write home about. It wasn't always the case, as nails on a chalkboard sounded better, but he made a conscious effort the past few years. Mostly because he was sick of hearing Sam and Adam complain that dying cats could carry a note better.

Without really paying attention, he started to play a few simple chords which ended up being Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here".

_So, so you think you can tell_

_Heaven from Hell,_

_Blue sky's from pain._

_Can you tell a green field_

_From a cold steel rail?_

_A smile from a veil?_

_Do you think you can tell?_

_And did they get you to trade_

_Your heroes for ghosts?_

_Hot ashes for trees?_

_Hot air for a cool breeze?_

_Cold comfort for change?_

_And did you exchange_

_A walk on part in the war_

_For a lead role in a cage?_

_How I wish, how I wish you were here._

_We're just two lost souls_

_Swimming in a fish bowl,_

_Year after year,_

_Running over the same old ground._

_And how we found_

_The same old fears._

_Wish you were here._

His thoughts turned to Cas. He hadn't called him yet after last night. There was just so much said on both their parts. Dean had never been more open with anyone. Ever. Maybe his mom, but that's it. He stowed his shit so he could help others. No need to burden them with his crap. But Cas... Cas took it all and didn't think less of him. Didn't pity him. When he fell asleep last night, he still felt the ghost of Cas's hand on his cheek.

Cas had made a place in his life quickly. Hell, Dean could tell the moment they met on the subway platform. He just didn't think it'd be this quick. All Sam's fault, Dean thought.

But was it? It was an offhand comment, but Cas said okay, and Dean rolled with it. Yeah, it got difficult and awkward, and way too chick flick for his liking, but he got to know Cas.

He put the guitar down, and grabbed his laptop from the seat of the leather chair. He looked up "36 questions" so he could figure out their purpose. His jaw dropped when he saw the title of the article.

"Well, that explains that." They definitely helped along toward that serious word, which Dean had never said to anyone other than his family in his 30 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks again to my beta, jesh14.


	12. Chapter 12

Cas wandered around the studio watching as his students painted. It was one of his 3rd Year Painting classes. Their subject was abstract concepts this semester. Each student had written a word on slips of paper, and they were pulled from an empty paint can at random. This week’s word was “Destiny”.

Everyone had their own interpretation. Cas took to drawing in his sketchpad along with the students, when he wasn’t observing them work. Everyone had their own process, and Cas liked to witness what they were out of both curiosity and inspiration.

Kevin walked up to where Cas was perched by the window sketching. “Castiel?” He said softly.

“Yes, Kevin?” Cas said not looking up, he knew the boy’s voice anywhere.

“It’s 5 o’clock.” Cas looked up. Many of the students were packing up. Cas hadn’t even noticed. He looked down at his work, which looked suspiciously like some of the tattoos on Dean’s arm that he glimpsed the previous night. He wondered how far they went, and hoped he’d get the chance to find out.

“Sorry, Kevin, of course.” Cas put down his book and moved to dismiss everyone, reminding them that Friday was their completion deadline.

After the students had left, Cas cleared up anything left over. He picked up his phone and checked the time, it was near six. He also had a text message waiting. It was from Dean, about four hours ago.

**DEAN:** _Heya, Cas. Busy?_

Cas felt like an idiot. He hadn’t even noticed. He unlocked his phone and quickly responded.

 **CAS:** _Hello, Dean. My apologies, I was teaching. I am now finished for the evening. So I am no longer busy. Why?_

—————

Dean was bored. He has never been so bored in his entire life. He rearranged the kitchen cabinets. Cleaned out the junk drawer. Organised his dresser and closet. Practiced on his various string instruments. He has run out of ways to distract himself ever since he looked up the title of those stupid questions. And now he has no other excuse, but to think about them and the implications.

He had texted Cas somewhere between reorganising his record collection and tossing odd socks in the donation box. This was four hours ago and Dean was going crazy. He had gone back and forth about texting Cas all day, but thought after the emotional whiplash from last night, it’d be a dick move not to. Though Dean might sometimes be an asshole, he wasn’t uncaring.

That’s how he found himself on the living room sofa with this eyes closed thinking of how sad Cas was when he answered some of the questions. It made Dean physically ache that Cas, who was so accomplished, thought so little of himself. And if anyone knew about shitty self-worth, it was Dean Winchester. He knew he wasn’t much of anything, but Cas looked at him like he was… important.

But Cas hadn’t texted back yet, so Dean thinks that maybe last night was too much for Cas, and he decided not to go ahead with whatever this is or will be or… “Fuck!” Dean allowed with an exasperated sigh. He just wished he knew where he stood with the guy. He chided himself for sounding like such a girl.

Dean’s phone made noise from the bedroom, he had a text message. He got up to check it, still in a foul mood. It was from Cas, he suddenly smiled, the previous negativity drifting away. Dean read the message, Cas was teaching. Right, Cas had shit to do as well. Just because Dean had the day off, didn’t mean Cas did too.

 **DEAN:** _It’s okay. You got plans for tonight? Movie marathon, maybe? We could finish the Star Wars trilogy?_

The reply was near immediate.

 **CAS:** _That would be lovely, though I haven’t eaten yet today and am a little bit peckish, so I will stop and have something first._

Dean’s eyes went wide. The guy hadn’t eaten at all?!

 **DEAN:** _Cas, just get your butt over here now, I’m cooking._

Dean knew it’d be a bit until Cas got here, but he pocketed the phone in his jeans and hightailed it to the kitchen, and started pulling out ingredients. His phone buzzed.

 **CAS:** _As you are insistent, I will be there directly._

Dean laughed and shook his head.

\------

By the time Cas got to Dean's, he was famished. It was not the first time that Cas has simply forgotten to eat. Usually when he became overly preoccupied, he'd forget most things. And after last night, he spent most of the day wrapped up in his head thinking. Thankfully, as it was habit, no one noticed anything being different.

Cas had opted for a taxi rather than the train. He steadfastly blamed his eagerness on his hunger. He stopped off quickly at a corner shop to grab a six pack of beer before jumping in a cab. He had no idea of Dean's preference so picked something at random. Dean had already buzzed him up, and he followed the familiar path from yesterday to the apartment. He knocked on Dean's door, hearing muffled curses and heavy footsteps. The door opened to reveal Dean standing there, tea towel over his shoulder, and a big grin on his face. "Hello Dean." Cas said with a slight upturn of his lips. "I come bearing libations." He held up the beer, which was ensconced in a plastic bag.

"Trying to get me all liquored up and take advantage, huh, Cas?" Dean said with a cheeky wink, stepping aside to let Cas into the apartment.

"I..I wouldn't-" Cas said a bit flustered.

"Just teasing, babe." Dean said taking the beer and giving Cas a quick peck on the cheek. "Hi."

Cas returned the gesture, stepping closer into Dean's space and giving him a chaste kiss in the lips. "Hello."

Dean took a deep breath. His eyes flicked to Cas's lips, but the oven timer decided to interrupt. Dean didn't move away, but said in a soft voice. "Dinner's ready." Cas just smiled, and took a step back and removed his coat and shoes. Dean blinked and walked back to the kitchen. He wiped his now sweaty palms on the towel hanging off his shoulder. "Since you said you were hungry, I may have went a bit overboard. There's fresh cornbread, jambalaya, and fresh baked cookies with ice cream for dessert. I would have made pie, but I was short on ingredients. I'll make it the next time you're over. I've just got to get the cornbread, take a seat." Dean said motioning toward the living room.

Shocked was the best word to describe Castiel. Dean made a him dinner (which smelled incredible) completely from scratch. He even baked. And on top of that, he said the next time. Cas sent a silent prayer of thanks to all the gods and goddesses listening. "Do you need any help?" Cas said standing in the kitchen doorway watching Dean cut up the cornbread.

"Nope. Just grab a beer and relax." Dean said smiling. He had already dished out two bowls full of jambalaya, which were sitting on a tray. "Okay." Cas felt a bit awkward being waited on, so at least grabbed a beer for Dean as well. The television was already on in the living room, paused roughly where they had left off, or at least from where Dean fell asleep yesterday. Shit, that was just yesterday. Cas thought to himself. It seemed like ages ago at this point.

Dean walked into the room. "Tada!" He set the tray on the coffee table and settled next to Cas. Dean sat back and pressed play on the movie.

They sit in silence only punctuated by happy food noises that made both men shift in their seats.

"Dean, this is amazing."

"Thanks, Cas. Glad you like it." Dean said blushing over the complement.

With their stomachs full, and the six pack Cas had brought finished, they were already into _Empire Strikes Back_. Both were sprawled on the couch, though Dean kept glancing at Cas to gage his reactions to certain parts of the film. There were a bunch of thoughts running through Dean's head, but in regard to last night, there still seemed to be blanks. "Cas, when's your birthday?"

Cas turned to look at Dean, tilting his head. "Why?"

"In all the questioning last night, I feel like we missed a few basics." Dean said with a shrug.

"September 18th."

"I'm January 24th. Favourite song?"

"Undone by Weezer."

"Nerd rock, I can deal. I have a tie between two Zeppelin songs: Ramble On and Travellin’ Riverside Blues. Book?"

“Leaves of Grass.”

“Poetry, huh? Mine’s Slaughterhouse Five.”

“My turn. Colour?” Cas asked.

Dean takes a breath and stares at Cas. “Blue.”

“Green.” Cas breathes. Time seems to stop as they both sit turned towards each other.

The only noise is Han and Leia:

_“Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes._

_Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right._

_Princess Leia: Occasionally, maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel._

_Han Solo: Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that._

_Princess Leia: Stop that._

_Han Solo: Stop what?_

_Princess Leia: Stop that. My hands are dirty._

_Han Solo: My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?_

_Princess Leia: Afraid?_

_Han Solo: You're trembling._

_Princess Leia: I'm not trembling._

_Han Solo: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life._

_Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men._

_Han Solo: I'm a nice man._

_Princess Leia: No, you're not. You’re…"_

Roughly the same time the kiss happened on screen, is when Dean found himself with a lap full of Cas. The move was so swift and earnest. It started chaste, but ended up all open mouths, tongues, and nips as things got more heated. Dean had one hand tangled in Cas’s hair and the other splayed on his lower back pulling him closer. Cas’s hands were similarly positioned, one in Dean’s hair and the other on his shoulder. Moans and heavy sighs erupted from their otherwise occupied mouths.

Cas could feel his arousal growing, and he knew he wasn’t the only one as Dean bucked up into him. Dean’s hand slid down to Cas’s ass when the front door opened.

“Hey, Dean, can I get a hand?” Sam called out.

Cas and Dean’s mouths separated as Dean tilted his head back on the couch. “Fucking cockblock.” He muttered.

Cas swung off Dean’s lap and sat back on the couch. Dean grumbled and dragged a hand down his face. “Yeah, Sam, be right there.” He turned to Cas, and frowned. “Sorry.”

Cas shrugged, but was obviously as disheartened as Dean. _Cockblock indeed_ , Cas thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, jesh14!


	13. Chapter 13

Dean got up and walked towards the door. Sam was laden with grocery bags, his gym gear, a tote full of books, and his school bag. “Think you’ve got enough there, Sammy?”

“Shut up and help.” Sam said, looking at his brother. Looks like he got caught in the middle of a tornado, Sam mused in regard to Dean’s disheveled appearance, must have been sleeping.

Suddenly, there was another voice heading in their direction. “Hello, Sam. Do you require additional assistance?”

Sam looked at Cas, who also looked a bit mussed, and then he glanced back at Dean who was glaring at his little brother. Oh, shit. I interrupted. I’m going to get itching powder in my gym shorts, I know it. “Oh, hi Cas, I didn’t know you were here. Um, yeah that’d be great. Thanks.”

They carried the multitude of bags into the apartment, and Sam immediately made an excuse that he had to shower and disappeared once everything was dropped off.

Dean and Cas found themselves in the kitchen, as Dean started to put away groceries with Cas’s help. “Sorry.” Dean said taking the milk from Cas.

Cas shrugged, “It was impeccable timing on your brother’s part.”

Dean laughed, “Yeah, that’s one word for it.”

They stood in the kitchen looking at one another once they finished with the groceries. Dean took a step towards Cas, and kissed him tenderly on the lips, letting his hand cup his stubbled cheek. Cas leaned into the kiss and moaned. The shower cut off.

Dean broke off the kiss, and bowed his head, resting it on Cas’s shoulder. “Perhaps we should continue the film? Also, I was promised dessert. I remember a mention of cookies and ice cream.” Cas said, a small smile playing across his lips.

“Yeah,” Dean said raising his head, “of course, babe.” He kissed Cas again chastely. “Take a seat, and rewind the movie. I’ll get the food.” He offered Cas a warm smiled as he pulled out bowls from the cupboard. Though there was still cookie dough left over in the fridge, Dean had already baked a small batch earlier. He dished out a few scoops of ice cream, and added a couple of cookies on top that he quickly warmed up in the toaster oven.

He was carrying the bowls out the same time Sam exited the bathroom. His younger brother ducked his head in and gave Dean a smirk. “Beat it, bitch.” Dean said scowling.

“Have fun, jerk.” Sam said with a smile, then went to his room and shut the door.

Dean sat next to Cas and handed over his bowl. “Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem, Cas.” Dean said smiling. The movie started up again, and they began eating. Once the ice cream was finished, Cas leaned into Dean, his head tucked up under Dean’s chin. This was a similar position, though Dean was doing the snuggling, to when they fell asleep on the couch.

The credits started to roll, and Cas yawned. “I liked that one better.” Cas said sounding a little sleepy.

Dean kissed the top of Cas’s head. “Yeah, me too. You think you can make another one, or are you going to turn into a pumpkin?”

“Pumpkin time, unfortunately.” Cas said with a frown. “Um,” Cas said hesitantly, though still not moving from his curled position on top of Dean, “what are you doing tomorrow? I am teaching until the same time, though I have a morning class as well.”

“I’m on vacation, so nothing.” Dean said, letting his fingers stroke Cas’s hair, which has quickly become one of Dean’s favourite activities.

“Would you care to watch the next film? I would offer to watch it at mine, but I don’t own a DVD player, or television, or couch.” Cas said with a slight frown.

Dean bit his lip so he didn’t bark out with laugher. _So friggin’ adorable._ “Yeah, here’s good. What do you want for dinner?”

Cas shrugged, “I would be happy with anything you make. You are an excellent cook and baker.”

“Thanks, Cas, but you must have some preference.”

Cas tilted his head up to look at Dean, “None.”

Dean leaned down and kissed Cas, slow and lingering. “Okay.” Dean said reluctantly pulling away.

They cleared up the dishes from the living room and took them to the kitchen. Dean walked Cas to the front door. “You sure I can’t take you to your door, or walk you to the subway?”

Cas smiled softly, “I appreciate the protective gesture, but I am more than capable of handling myself should a situation arise.”

Dean quirked a questioning eyebrow, “Really?”

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean a little more forcefully, “Most assuredly. Good night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”

Once the front door closed, Dean sighed. Then a loud voice rang out from behind Sam's door. "Sorry, Dean."

Dean growled in anger, "Yeah, well you will be."


	14. Chapter 14

Now that things seem to have come to some sort of unspoken agreement, Dean found himself texting Cas throughout the day: more random fire safety things, weird things he has thought of, and how he is trying to spend the day despite being bored. There may have even been a photo or two that made Cas laugh aloud in the middle of a ceramics tutorial. At least it wasn’t during welding or glass blowing, as that could have been disastrous.

Cas didn’t always reply, as he was supposed to be teaching, but enough that Dean didn’t feel it was a one-sided conversation. Dean knew he was being annoying, and even offered to stop, though Cas said he didn’t mind. Cas was actually enjoying the constant attention. It was weird to start with, but knowing that Dean wanted to talk to him, be with him, made it much more comfortable.

Cas found himself smiling today, which freaked out a few of his students, his doorman, his neighbors, the kid at Mike’s Coffee Shop (where he got lunch), and so forth.

 “Is everything okay?” Tina, one of his students, asked him. Cas just smiled in return, and complimented her brushstrokes. 

“Maybe he’s high?” Kevin leaned over and said in a quiet voice. Tina nodded.

Five o’clock rolled around again, and since Cas had remembered to eat today ( _Thank you, Dean_ ), he took the subway to Dean’s rather than a taxi, though he was in no less of a hurry. Cas took the G to the A train, and found himself buzzing with anticipation once at Dean’s door.

Dean swung it open, revealing the smiling Cas everyone had witnessed today, but this one, was meant for Dean. It was all gummy, and the lines on his face deepened. It was like sunshine, and Dean looked like a dumbstruck idiot.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas said, six pack in hand yet again.

“Hiya, Cas. What’s with the big cheesy face?” 

Cas furrowed his brown, “I had a cheeseburger for lunch, and did no one tell me there was some food stuck to my face?” Dean doubled over laughing, while holding onto the door for balance. Cas stepped inside, while wiping his face with the sleeve of his trench coat. The weather had not picked up, so it was still chilly out.

Dean leaned in and moved Cas’s hands, and kissed him softly yet deeply. “No, no cheese.” He said pulling back.

“You smell like motor oil.” Cas said, slightly puzzled.

“Oh, yeah, the truck was acting up, so I had to take a look at her. Spent most of the day doing it. The smell tends to linger, sorry about that." Dean said.

 "No, I like it." Cas said quietly. Dean smiled and kissed him again. "So, what's on the menu tonight?"

"I made some beer-marinated chicken tacos, and some apple pie for dessert." Dean smiled broadly.

"You made pie? From scratch?"

"I said I would the next time you were over." Dean said with a shrug.

Cas shook his head in disbelief. "How are you not dead on your feet from all of this?"

Dean waved his hand dismissively, "I've had longer days at the station, besides I've got someone to impress."

"You needn't impress me, as you've already done a fine job of that so far. I'm not going anywhere." Cas said unthinkingly. He shut his eyes and cursed himself, _Too soon, shit._

"Good." Dean said and turned towards the kitchen, grabbing the beer from Cas. "Start the movie up, would you?"

Cas stood there for a moment. It wasn't a confirmation, but maybe it was? He wanted to ask for clarification, but was afraid of the answer. Were they exclusive? Was Dean his boyfriend? This was a very new and rare situation for Cas, and he didn't want to fuck it up. Dean was too good for that.

"Hey Babe?" Dean called from the kitchen. Cas blushed at the nickname. "Can you come here for a sec, I need some help and my hands are full."

Cas stood quickly and went to the kitchen only to be grabbed by Dean who kissed him roughly. "See? Hands are full." He smiled and kissed Cas again.

Dean could tell that Cas was worried by his last comment. He was nervous and didn't want to say anything too soon, but to be honest, that ship sailed around question 10 or so a few nights ago. He wants to reassure Cas that everything was good.

"Just so you know, I'm not a fan of sharing, I prefer having pie all to myself." Dean said cryptically. 

Cas looked confused. "Then why offer if you were going to eat it yourself?"

Dean huffed a laugh, "Cas, I'm not talking about actual pie."

Still perplexed, Cas tilted his head.

"I'm talking about you, you dork."

It took Cas a moment, but a smile grew across his face. "I prefer not to share my 'pie' as well." He used his fingers to make air quotes. Dean nearly died. He held his tongue so not to say something stupid and just kissed Cas again.

"Grab the beer." He said finally untangling himself from Cas.

They sat on the couch eating and watching "return of the Jedi". Cas liked the Ewoks. There was a break to get pie and ice cream when Luke was on Dagoba. Cas moaned on the first bite. Dean’s mouth went dry and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He was able to manage getting through his own slice, and as soon as Cas put down his plate, Dean was all over him.

This was definitely becoming a habit. Kissing Cas had become addictive for Dean; his lips, his stubble, his hands, the feel of Cas in general. This time, Cas found himself with a lap full of Dean. He let out a little squeak of surprise as Dean manhandled him all of a sudden. 

Dean’s hand found his way into Cas’s hair, which was becoming an automatic reflex, despite the newness of their relationship. Both of Cas’s hands were gripping at Dean’s plaid shirt, trying to tug it off while simultaneously trying to pull him closer.

Cas broke away from Dean’s lips and started moving down his throat. Dean let out a soft noise of happy contentment. Cas’s hand moved down from Dean’s back, one tucking under his layers to touch skin, the other grabbing his butt. Cas felt drunk on Dean at the moment.

“Cas.” Dean moaned. Cas made a small growling noise as he tried to ruck up Dean’s shirt. He shifted his position on the couch to get a better grip on Dean’s clothing so he could get it off. Dean then leaned back to help Cas strip as well. This was bad timing on both their parts.

Dean fell off Cas’s lap hitting the coffee table while kicking Cas in the leg. 

“Ow!” Cas said clutching his leg.

“Fuck!” Dean said from the narrow space on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. Dean banged his head into the floor in frustration. “Sorry, Cas. Are you okay?

 “Yeah, are you?” Cas said looking down at Dean, who was now perched on his elbows.

“Yeah, I’m just…” Dean yawned.

“Tired?” Cas asked.

“No, I can…” Dean yawned again, “...keep going. I used to think this couch was big enough, maybe I should rethink the table placement.” He said scratching the back of his neck and moving gingerly to get up.

“Maybe we should stop, you’re tired.” Cas said.

“No.” Dean whined and yawned while Cas rolling his eyes at him.

“Dean, it’s fine.” Cas said stepping into Dean’s space and stroking his face.

Dean grumbled and rested his head on Cas’s chest, his arms latched firmly around the shorter man’s waist. He yawned again, then sighed. “Fine.”

“Dean, do you want me to stay?” Cas asked softly.

Dean breathed out a quiet “Yes”.

Cas took Dean’s hand and lead him to the bedroom. They quietly undressed. Dean threw Cas a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, and went to the bathroom. “There should be a new toothbrush under the sink, I’ll grab it for you.” Cas nodded and changed when Dean left the room. They switched places once Dean got back.

Cas got into bed on the right side without even asking Dean, which worked as Dean slept on the left. He smiled to himself as he shut the door and turned off the light. 

Dean could make out Cas’s features in the dark, he was smiling and staring, “Turn over.”

“Making me the little spoon, huh?” Dean said, though complying with Cas’s direction.

“Shut up and sleep.” Cas said, grabbing the tossed blanket and wrapping it around them. Dean curled into Cas’s body and relaxed. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. “G’dnight, Cas.” He said already drifting off.

“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas said kissing the back of his neck before closing his eyes. He was asleep minutes later as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to jesh14, jentothepen, LoversAntiquities (formerly K A Graves), and museaway.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean was warm. He was curled around what seemed like a furnace. A furnace that smelled of cinnamon, paint thinner, and something else, like ozone. He shuffled in closer, as if it were possible. He was also hard, and pushed his erection into it. “Mmmmm.” He said not opening his eyes. The furnace pushed back.

Cas woke more relaxed than he has been in a long time. There were strong arms holding him, heavy legs intertwined with his. Dean, Cas thought. He heard a noise from behind him, and felt Dean move closer, his erection pressing on Cas’s ass. A sleepy smile crossed Cas’s face, so he gently pushed back. 

Dean’s eyes snapped open.  _Cas_ , he thought. Before he could do anything else, Cas turned over and looked at him with sleepy blue eyes and a smile. “Good morning, Dean.”

 _Cas knew. Cas didn’t care. Cas pushed back_. Dean smiled. “Morning.” They pressed closer together, and for the first time Dean felt Cas’s erection through a couple thin layers of fabric. “Mmmmm.” He said closing his eyes.

“My sentiments exactly.” Cas said leaning in for a kiss.

Then abruptly, there was a whistle and ‘wah-wah-wah’ noise coming from the night stand. “Crap.” Cas said.

Dean looked at him. “What is that?”

“My alarm. I have a class this morning.” Cas said turning to reach for his phone.

“Wait, is that the theme from ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly’?” Dean asked with a small smile.

“Yes.” Cas said turning it off.

“So, you like cowboys?” Dean asked with a full on smirk.

“Or I could just have a fetish with bowlegs.” Cas said with a straight face and raised eyebrow, staring straight at Dean while he did so.

“Ugh, you can’t say shit like that, Babe. Not when you’ve got to leave... Wait, how much time do you have?” Dean said somewhat wide-eyed.

“Not enough, unfortunately. I have to stop by mine to shower and change, and I”ll still be late most likely.” Cas leaned over and kissed Dean’s cheek.

“You can do that here, so at least that saves you some time. Might get there okay.” Dean said raising himself onto one elbow, facing Cas.

Cas frowned. “I haven’t any clothes here, Dean.” 

Dean shrugged. “Borrow mine. You’re just painting and shit, right? You’ve already got jeans, just borrow a t-shirt and a Henley or something.”

“And go commando?” 

Dean growled and moved closer to Cas.  _Now he definitely shouldn’t say things like that_ , Dean mused. “You sure you don’t have time?” He dragged his mouth along Cas’s neck pressing a kiss here and there.

“Believe me, I wish I did.” Cas said tipping his head back.

“Harumph. Well, you can borrow socks and underwear too, if that doesn’t skeeve you out.” Dean said without stopping, and now his free hand was tangled in Cas’s hair.

“No, it doesn’t. Thank you, Dean. I better go shower, though.” Cas said willing himself to move to no avail.

“You want company?” Dean said sucking hard on Cas’s neck.  _Yeah, that’ll leave a mark._

“Dean.” Cas said half warning, half moaning.

“Fine. Perfect gentleman.” He stopped before they could go any further. The hickey he started to give Cas wasn’t finished, and would probably fade soon. He resolved himself to correcting that mistake later.

“You know, I don’t teach on the weekends.” Cas said finally pulling himself from Dean’s warm bed.

“Then you are coming back here tonight.” It wasn’t a question.

“Dean? Are you up?” He heard Sammy call from the kitchen. Dean let out an exasperated sigh and dragged a hand over his face as he lay prone on the bed.

Cas thought Dean looked adorable, and couldn’t help the smile on his lips or the tightness in his chest. “How about we make it mine? No more brothers, or interruptions, or furniture with a vengeance?”

“Deal.” Dean said quickly, hoping out of bed.

 

* * *

 

“Dean, I- Oh! ...Morning, Cas. Dean.” Sam said halfway to Dean’s door. Cas walked out looking dishevelled and happy, and Dean was holding on to his hips looking just about the same. Sam bit back a smirk, and gave them the most unconvincing smile to hide it ever.

“You guys... um... sleep well?" Sam asked. This was not the first time Sam had seen someone walk out of his brother's room in the morning, but it was the first for a few things in adjacent categories. First of all, it's the first time in at least a year. Secondly, they are not sneaking out à la walk of shame. Thirdly, they (Cas) is wearing Dean's clothes, which include his favourite Led Zeppelin shirt (that never gets lent out). Fourthly, Dean has his arms wrapped around Cas as they exit. Fifth, they look happy. Sam could keep making a mental list of how this has never happened ever in the history of forever, but instead, he just grins and thinks one word:  _finally_.

"Yeah, we did Samsquatch. Now if you'll excuse us, Cas has to get all gussied up for work, and I'm making breakfast." Dean is wrapped around Cas like he's holding onto a security blanket. Dean kisses Cas's temple. "Pancakes or omelet?" He asks Cas, while not so subtly nosing the back of Cas's neck.

"This is adorable. I am happy for you both, but I think I'm going to hurl from the sight, though. Ugh. Just wanted to let you know, that I've my study group over tonight." Sam said with a mixed look of happiness and revulsion on his face. He's truly happy for his brother, but doesn't need to see this. It only brings flashbacks of all the compromising positions he's seen Dean in.  _He was never this cuddly, though_. Sam mused idly.

"Shut your eyes if you don't like it. 'Sides I'm staying with Cas this weekend." Dean said with a hint of question on the last word, his body slightly tensing. One night was offered, but Dean went whole hog with the statement. Had he been too presumptuous?

"That is correct, Sam. You probably won't see Dean again until Monday." Cas said with a tone of finality. Dean relaxed behind Cas. "And Dean, I would very much like pancakes." Cas then turned to give Dean a quick peck on the lips, and headed toward the bathroom.

Once the door was firmly shut, Sam smiled at Dean. "Seriously man, I'm happy. And not just because Adam owes me another $50."

"You asshole!" You bet on my love life?!" Dean said hotly.

"Love life?" Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Dean looked pissed, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Sam raised his hands as a surrender. "Sorry, I won't say anything. Just... I know I've already said it, but I am happy for you. I know it's early yet, but... Yeah." Sam steps forward and gives Dean a hug.

Dean relents. "Thanks, Sammy, but no more betting."

"Fine." He looked a bit disheartened as he pulled back, but then started to smile. "Did you tell mom yet?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to jesh14, jentothepen, LoversAntiquities (formerly K A Graves), and museaway.


	16. Chapter 16

Mary Winchester was not your typical housewife or mother. She was a military brat, who married a marine, and raised three military brats of her own. She could bake the most incredible pecan pie as well as field strip an M16 blindfolded.

She had three boys, four if you included John, to deal with. Mary was no pushover, but she wasn't Nurse Rachett either. Suffice it to say, you stayed on Mary's good side if you wanted all your limbs intact.

So when Sam texted Adam (at a reasonable hour this time) that Dean had made it nearly a week and is staying the weekend over at Cas's, Adam was not happy. Sam also sent slyly taken photos of Dean with his arms wrapped around Cas while the blue-eyed man was was drinking coffee, Cas in Dean's Black Sabbath shirt that he would lend no one under penalty of death, and one of Cas pressing Dean up against the brick wall in the hallway before he left (which Sam took with his eyes closed), Adam the angry youth he was (as he was now out $100), did what any reasonable person out for payback would do... he called his mom.

"Hey Mom." Adam said, barely containing the deviousness that lay ahead.

"Morning, sweetie. are you all packed for Monday? Are you sure you don't want me or dad to drive you to the airport?"

“Mom, it’s like 5 minutes. You guys don’t have to drive an hour and a half here just for that. I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m Dean.”  _Perfect segway_ , Adam thought to himself. 

“I know, sweetie, I just want you to be okay. I bet you’re looking forward to seeing them, aren’t you?” Mary asked.

“Of course! I can get you a first hand report on Jess and Cas, just liked you asked.” Adam had the biggest shit-eating grin ever in his life plastered on his smug face. The only thing better is if he could see his mom’s expression in person. This was worth all the itching powder in his shorts that Dean could pour.

“Yes, and make sure…” Mary paused.  _YES_ , Adam thought. “Who’s Cas?”

“Oh, um Dean didn’t say anything… oops!” Adam said putting on his best innocent voice.

“Wait, why would he?” It clicked. “Dean is seeing someone?!” 

“Mom, I gotta go. I have to pack and get to my last class for the week, then finish my project in the lab all weekend. I’ll text you from the airport!” He said hurriedly.

“Adam Michael Winchester. What is going on?” Mary asked slowly, her voice getting stern.

Adam knew he couldn’t hang up or he’d never make it to NYC and Dean’s wrath, because his mom would get to him first. “He met a guy last week, Sam says they're pretty serious, and based off the pictures, I’d have to agree.” There was silence on the other end. Adam swallowed. It was never a good sign if Mary went quiet. “Mom?”

“Sam knew. You knew. Dean hasn’t called me in over a week. I want a name, and those photos. Now.” Mary said her voice even.

Adam automatically sat up straight at his dorm room desk, it was a Pavlovian response anytime their parents used that tone of voice. All three Winchester boys had the same reaction. “Yes, ma’am. His name is Castiel Novak. Dean calls him Cas. He’s a famous painter. I’ll email you the photos now.”

“Thank you, Adam. Have a good flight. I love you, sweetie.” Mary said, softness returning to her words.

“Love you too, Mom.” Adam hung up. He took a deep breath,  _she was pissed_ , he thought. Adam then started to smile thinking of the phone calls Sam and Dean were going to get.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to jesh14.
> 
> I'm a bit busy this weekend, so I don't know if I'll be able to get a new chapter up until Monday. Sorry!


	17. Chapter 17

Dean was whistling the opening to "Patience" by Guns n Roses. He had probably set a dozen personal records since he met Cas. None of that mattered, though, he was happy for the first time in a long time. Forget about his jackass little brothers, nothing was going to ruin his mood as he packed for the weekend. 

Sam had already left, and agreed to pick Adam up at the airport on Monday, so Dean didn't have to rush. It was the least Sam could do considering... Dean shook the thoughts away and turned his mind back to Cas.

After all the shit Dean had gone through, something good had to happen. It doesn't generally happen in his experience, and he tried not to focus on the possibility of the other shoe dropping. It was always inevitable for him, as good things never lasted. Suddenly, his dark thoughts were broken by the phone ringing.

Dean picked it up, not checking the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Morning, honey." Mary Winchester's voice was sweet and one of Dean's favourite sounds. Other ones he hoped to hear soon, though Cas's were in a very different category.

"Hey Mom! Sorry I didn't call, I've been busy. How are you? Adam's not making you drive him to the airport, the lazy punk?" Dean said, taking a seat on his bed next to the half packed duffle bag.

"No, he's going on his own. Make sure you keep an eye on him while he's there. I don't want any trouble." Mary said, using her patented ‘mom’ voice.

"Yes ma'am." Dean said with a smile. He’d also get some revenge as well on the little punk.

"And Dean?" Mary asked breaking his thoughts of retribution.

"Yeah mom?"

"This 'busy' wouldn't have to do with a very handsome blue-eyed man, would it?" Mary said in a all too sweet tone.

Dean's jaw dropped. He was going to kill Sam. He was going to murder Adam and dump his body in the East River. _Those assholes. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ "Um, so I started to see someone." Dean said in a quiet voice.

"Mmm hmm." Mary said waiting for more information.

"Mom it's been a week since we met, it's early, can't you ask me next month or something?" Dean did not whine.

"Dean, the fact that you even just said that leads me to believe he is important. And the photos Adam sent me..." Mary said plainly.

"Photos?!" _Sam is dead. Deader than dead. So dead that there will be nothing left for him to come back as in the advent of a zombie apocalypse._

"Yes, there are four and they are adorable. Castiel looks like quite a catch. Now, tell me what I can't learn on the Internet about him." Mary said digging her heels in.

Dean sighed. It was barely 10am and he needed a drink. There went his good mood.

 

* * *

After over an hour on the phone in an uncomfortable conversation with his mother, and a promise to Skype them with Cas in a few weeks (God knows how he was going to convince Cas of that), he hung up thoroughly mortified...

_“What did dad say?” Dean asked at one point, albeit nervously._

_“I don't know, I couldn't get him to stop laughing long enough to get him to string two words together.” Mary said with a smile._

Yeah, definitely mortified.

 **CAS:** _Hello Dean. I'll be home around 6pm, but you're welcome over earlier, if you like. I left word with the doorman to let you in whenever you arrive._

 **DEAN:** _I take it I'll be cooking?_

 **CAS:** _Unless you want over cooked pasta._  

 **DEAN:** _Yeah, I'll stop at the market. Anything you're in the mood for?_

The little dots of eternal patience were on the screen for a bit longer than normal.

 **CAS:** _You._

 **CAS:** _But I guess that counts as dessert._

 **CAS:** _Thank you, Dean. I will see you tonight._

Cas was being cheeky. Dean was too shocked to return the sentiment.

 **DEAN:** _See you then Cas. ;)_

Dean was now definitely looking forward to tonight, Cas having helped his mood. Dean finished packing his bag. He checked his drawer, and found he was low on certain supplies. He was actually worried that the condoms he did have had expired. _Wow, has it been that long?!_

Dean would have another stop on his errands today for sure.

 

* * *

 

Dean hadn't been to Babeland before, but picked it for his supply run considering the name. He’s sure he had heard it somewhere, but it’s probably just because of the pet name he had been using recently. Somehow he had started calling Cas “babe”, and it had stuck.  

The only thing he'd ever called with an affectionate name was his father's car, Baby. He missed her something fierce. _Maybe I'll take some vacation time and go get her._ It had been a while since he was behind the wheel. His dad had actually gifted her to Dean when he was 18, but left it behind in Kansas when he moved to NYC. She was too precious to park in the street in this God-forsaken city and he couldn't afford indoor parking at the time. _Maybe Cas would want to come with him? Maybe road trip a little?_ He had barely taken any vacation days in the past few years, so he probably had a few weeks accumulated by now.

His mind wandered as he walked in. It was a very non-skeezy looking place, and female friendly... Maybe he made a miscalculation on the store choice.

"Hey, how can I help you?" He heard a voice from behind him. He turned to find a very familiar face. "Dean?" Dean turned to see Dorothy, Charlie's girlfriend. _Shit._

Charlie Bradbury was awesome. She was this geeky redhead who was a serious badass. Her and Ash bonded over computers and other technical mumbo jumbo Dean didn't understand. But Dean had adopted Charlie like a little sister considering their shared pop culture interests. Charlie was also queer. Dean didn't have a problem with his bisexuality having been "out" well before coming to New York. There had only been one "incident" where another firefighter was intolerant. Gordon Walker was quickly transferred.

"Hi Dor, I forgot you worked here." Which was true and now Dean remembered why the name sounded familiar.

"Yeah it's how Charlie and I met, remember? Anyway, what's up? I didn't think I'd see you in here. Charlie says you've been a bit... dry." She said diplomatically, but still with a hint of a smile.

Dean cringed. Anything he said to Dor would get to Charlie, and that meant when he went back to work on Tuesday, it'd be all over the station. Not that it's a bad thing, but he's sure his brothers weren't the only ones that had made bets. He let out a resigned sigh, and dragged a hand over his face.

"Yeah, well things have changed." He said plainly.

"Guy or girl?" Dorothy said, now with a full on smile.

"Why does that matter?" Dean said looking at her straight on.

"So I know what products to recommend, and other reasons..." She said trying to be coy.

  _I knew it!_ _Those bastards!_ "They put a damn bet on me, didn't they?"

Dorothy smiled, "Possibly."

"How much?" Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

Trying to still play innocent, Dorothy responded, "How much what?"

"In the pot." Dean was not happy.

"Few grand." She shrugged.

"What?!" Dean’s eyes nearly popped out. He was in shock.

Dorothy tried not to laugh. _Poor guy_ , she thought. "Well, it's been a while. Well over a year, I think, and they just keep throwing money in."

"Has it been that long?" Dean asked with a bit of a wince across his face.

"Honestly, I think it's been longer. Jo would know best, she started it. There are even different categories and everything. That was Charlie's doing though, it's very organised. I think a few other companies are in on it as well." Dorothy said trying to remember.

If the phone call from his mom hasn't destroyed any shred of dignity, this discovery had obliterated what was left. "Do I really want to know?"

"You really don't. So how about you tell me, so I can try and save you some humiliation, because if you don't tell me, I'll tell Charlie you stopped by." Dorothy pursed her lips.

"Don't you dare!” He pointed at her, then paused. “Why do you care anyway?"

"Because Charlie and I are getting a place and we could use the extra cash for a down payment." She said nonchalantly.

"Glad my love life is helping you with your nest egg." Dean said dropping his hands in a little bit of defeat.

"Love?"

 _Shit. I did it again._ "Ugh, fine. It's a guy. We met last Saturday, we've had a few dates. Haven't got much past... um... kissing. He's stayed over, but we haven't done anything thanks to multiple cockblocks for which I blame Sam. I'm staying at his this weekend." He said quickly with his eyes closed. He didn’t need to see Dorothy’s giddy reaction.

"So we're saying tonight or tomorrow for 'the do'." She said not even holding back a grin.

No, forget anything else, this was the most mortifying moment in Dean's life. "Probably."

Dorothy smiled. "You like him." She said more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah." Dean said quietly.

"Well I can definitely help you out, and whatever you get is on me." Dean opened her eyes. Dorothy was standing there with her phone in hand.

"Um, why?" Dean asked cautiously.

"Because, Charlie just won the whole pool - every category." She said grinning and checking her phone. 

Suddenly, Dean got a text. He knew who the message was from immediately. He really wished he didn't.

 **CHARLIE:** _Send a pic of ur BF rn & all purchases are on us! Woooooo!_

Yep, Dean was screwed. Well… not yet, techinically.

He shook his head. 

 **DEAN:** _I am NOT talking to you or answering your demands!_

 **CHARLIE:** You must obey your Queen or else, handmaiden!

Dean and Charlie went LARPing on their time off every now and then. Not many people knew. In fact, Charlie knew a lot about Dean that not even Sam knew. He’s sure that amongst everything, there was enough blackmail to make this situation even worse for him.

 **DEAN** : _u suk_

Dean had been reduced to text speak. He was done. He knew it. Dean looked online quickly for a picture of Cas and sent it. It was the one used for his faculty page at Pratt. He was in a white shirt and blue jumper. His hair was still a mess, and there was only a hint of a smile on his lips. Nothing like the genuine ones Dean sees on a regular basis.

Dean also reminds himself to look up more about Cas online, he never got to it for some reason. He then realised that there are pictures of the two of them that he's never seen. So he texts Sam asking for them. Hell it’s only fair.

 **CHARLIE** : _Holy crap! He's dreamy!_

 **DEAN** : _Go save a cat and leave me alone!_

 **CHARLIE** : _:p_

Dorothy stood there smiling; she had a shopping basket in her hand and gave it to Dean. "One condition," Dean said and Dorothy nodded to continue, "What I buy stays between us."

Dorothy’s smile was so big it looked like her face would break. "Dean, you just got me a new apartment with my girlfriend. You could buy pink satin panties for all I care and I wouldn't tell a soul."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big hugs and tasty slices of pie to jesh14.


	18. Chapter 18

Dean made it to Cas’s apartment around 4pm. Garth greeted him at the door, and handed him a set of spare keys. Dean felt a bit weird being at Cas’s without him, but the blue-eyed man had insisted that it was okay.

Though he had only been here once, the layout was imprinted on his memory. He left his bag in the foyer (along with his purchases from Babeland), and took the groceries to the kitchen. He wanted to make tonight’s dinner extra special.

Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew after his long period of solo experience, things were going to change. He just hadn’t wrapped his head about it being that long. Or the fact that he’d actually waited with Castiel. Granted, there were numerous interruptions and roadblocks, so that stalled them going any further. If Dean had to admit it though, he’s kind of glad. Though, he doesn’t think he can handle any more cockblocks, as his patience is wearing out, but it’s drawn things out. Cas was special and he didn’t want to rush things, but on the other hand, he couldn’t wait.

Dean started pulling out ingredients from the grocery bags and cabinets. On tonight’s menu: crab risotto and a strawberry-lemon eton mess. Dean was really pulling out all the stops. Usually he’d make a mass of chili or other one-pot meals at the station, but he’s enjoying being a little more intricate, especially considering the noises Cas makes when he eats. Dean adjusted himself, just thinking back to those sounds, which were quite similar to other sounds Cas makes when not eating.

He became so preoccupied in the kitchen, with the music playing as well (currently Neil Young as Dean does branch out a little), that he didn’t notice Cas arrive home. Cas hung up his trench by the door and toed off his shoes. He was in Dean’s clothes from this morning, which had made Cas happy all day. He walked through the apartment, carrying the obligatory six-pack which had seem to become tradition, to the kitchen and stopped to lean at the entrance. Only when he heard him speak did Dean look up, “That smells heavenly... I think I’ll keep you.”

Dean smiled and walked over to where Cas was standing. “Hey, babe.” Dean’s hand wrapped around Cas’s waist, while the other carded through his hair. Cas closed his eyes and leaned his head into Dean’s palm. Cas liked coming home and having someone waiting there for him, especially when that someone was Dean. Opening his eyes, Cas smiled. “Hello Dean.”

Leaning into one another, they kissed. It was chaste at first, but started to gradually build until Cas's stomach gave a little growl. Dean laughed into Cas's mouth. "Okay, kisses later, food now." He gave Cas one last quick kiss and motioned him to sit at the table nestled to the side.

Dean picked up the six-pack from where Cas had left it on the floor to free his hands in order for them to roam and grope Dean's body while they kissed. Dean carried the beer to the fridge as Cas went over and took the same seat where they sat nearly a week ago for breakfast. A minute later, Dean walked over with the risotto and two open beers in the other hand.

Dinner was peppered with both talking about their days. Dean omitted his trip to Babeland, as he really didn't want to tell Cas about that experience. Especially since Dean was a bit thrown by most of the stuff they had. He got a few things based on suggestions from Dorothy, but was unsure about some other items the store had, so veered away from them. Dorothy also said that if he brought Cas in the next time, that purchase would be on her and Charlie as well.

One thing he mentioned was his mother's phone call, though not the Skype request. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad." Cas said taking a sip of beer. Dean snorted in laughter. "Well," Cas continued, giving Dean a slight glare, "I hope to be able to meet them one day. I'd like to congratulate them on their creation of you."

Dean blushed. "Um, tone it down on the sappiness there, Cas."

"Why? It's the truth." Cas said with a shrug. Dean didn't say anything, he just continued eating, though a small smile did cross his lips. Cas watched him for a moment, and then changed the conversation to something innocuous.

Having finished the risotto, Dean took the plates to the sink and made a move to grab dessert from the fridge. Cas came up and slipped an arm around his waist. "What are you doing, Dean?"

"I made dessert." Dean said opening the door to the refrigerator.

"I told you earlier," Cas kissed the back of Dean's neck, "you're my dessert."

Dean turned and captured Cas's mouth with his. It was heated and closed lipped until Cas swiped his tongue over Dean's bottom lip for entry. Dean opened his mouth and Cas titled his head so he could reach further with his tongue. Hands were everywhere. They grabbed at clothes, hair, hands, butts, in order to get purchase as well as to get to skin.

Cas started shuffling the two towards his bedroom. What should have taken a minute seemed to take an hour. Every clear wall, door, and surface was a resting place. Even some spaces that weren’t, but Cas didn’t care about the fallen items. It was as if they were scouting for future places to use while on their way to bed. Dean apologised through preoccupied lips for things being knocked over, but Cas told him to shut up and take off his clothes.

When then made it to the foyer, Cas had been divested of his shirt and Dean's jeans and belt were unbuckled. Just as Cas's hands were going to reach inside, Dean pulled back to kiss his neck, but paused. "Do you smell that?"

Cas's eyes were closed and he wasn't paying anything but Dean attention. "Smell what?"

"It smells like-" there was a scream from the hallway. Dean turned and whipped open the door. Smoke was everywhere.

Dean quickly buttoned his jeans has he ran into the halllway. "Cas, take the stairs, get outside. Now!"

"Dean!" Cas called after him.

"Go now." Cas grabbed his trench coat from the nearby hook and padded his sock-clad feet towards the stairwell.

He paused at the entrance, as others ran past. "Dean!" Cas called again.

"Go now!" Dean said rushing into the thick smoke.

Dean started banging on doors, he didn't know who was home, who had left already, or who was trapped, but needed everyone to get out. He yelled at those who answered to get to the stairwell and downstairs ASAP.

He didn't have his equipment or protective gear. He was in jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't even have shoes on. Dean ran barefoot down the hall trying to herd people to safety. He came up to the door from where the smoke billowed underneath. He tested the door, and reckoned that there shouldn't be a backdraft present, or at least as much as you could gauge.

He kicked the door open and stepped to the side quickly. Just more smoke, no flames, but he could hear them roaring. He pulled his t-shirt off and tied it around his nose and mouth, and entered the apartment, crouching low.

He searched room to room. He heard cries not far from the flames. They had engulfed the whole kitchen. He didn't see any bodies trapped in the inferno - thank God.

He went for the door where the noises emanated. "FDNY. Stand back from the door!" He yelled hoping they heard.

Dean kicked it open and found a man and woman crouching in the far corner with small two children. They must have thought Dean insane, because it sure was an odd sight.

He pulled the shirt covering his lower face down, "Come on, we've a clear path, but we've got to go. Now!"

He hauled them to their feet. The man had his wife in one arm, and a child in another. Dean took the other child who was crying loudly and led the way. He pushed the group of three out the front door first and followed soon after. He came face to face with properly suited up FDNY firefighter.

"So this is what you do on your days off?" A muffled Benny said to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to jesh14 & jentothepen.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean walked down the stairwell with his best friend, getting oxygen from his spare mask. Others had taken the family down ahead of them. It was a few floors and a couple minutes before either spoke, so Dean could clear his lungs a bit.

"So, you gunna explain this, brutha?" Benny asked finally, his Louisiana accent thick. 

"Explain what?" Dean asked, looking at Benny. He knew it was coming; he hoped Benny wouldn’t have asked, but the point was moot considering that they'd know soon enough from Charlie, or even Dean himself. He had no intention of keeping his relationship with Cas a secret. He just didn’t like that all the jackasses in his life bet on it.

"Why you're here? Why you're barely dressed? Why you're so stupid? Take your pick." Benny said with a raised eyebrow and slight snigger.

Dean chuckled and pulled off the mask, handing it back to Benny. "I was having dinner."

"Bullshit. You know someone here." Benny said unconvinced.

They had made it down to the lobby by then but before Dean could say anything else, there was someone rushing past the barricade. "Dean!"

Both Benny and Dean turned to look. It was Cas running full force towards him in jeans, socks, and a trench coat. His chest was bare as the coat billowed behind him. Cas slammed into Dean’s body once he was near and held him close, nearly knocking the wind out of Dean. Benny just smiled, but then his face fell. "Dammit, Charlie won."

Dean looked at Benny and then flipped him off before he buried his face in Cas’s neck. Cas pulled back a minute later. His face was full of relief seeing that Dean was fine, but then a flash of something darker came over him. Dean actually looked scared for a second. Cas's voice dropped to a lower octave, which Dean didn’t even think was possible. "If you ever do something so stupid and risky like that again, mark my words, Dean, you will regret it."

"Oh come on Cas..." Dean squeaked out despite the fact he was actually a bit scared of Cas right now.

"Never again." He enunciated every syllable for effect.

"But my job..." Dean started to protest. He wasn’t going to stop being a firefighter because of Cas.

"Where you have proper gear and protection? Yes, that is acceptable, not running in blindly, barely dressed." Cas didn’t want Dean to stop helping people, he just wanted to make sure that Dean took care of himself as well. Dean let out a sigh.

"Hey, mind moving the domestic outside? Trying to work here!" Jo called, Gads and Murphy trying (and failing) to hold in their laughter. Dean forgot his crew was here. He didn't even know why, but as a special company, there might have been some extenuating circumstances Dean wasn't privy to. They would get called to various locations all over Manhattan.

It took another hour for things to get cleared up. The family Dean saved thanked him profusely. Luckily there were no injuries to anyone beyond smoke inhalation.

Cas was also introduced to Dean's crew, which was kind of awkward considering their state of undress.

Charlie was (obviously) the most enthusiastic, even hugging Cas though he looked confused. “Hey there Castiel. Wow, you really are dreamy. I’m Charlie.”

Cas nodded after the redhead released him. “Um, hello.” He said with a little smile. Charlie just laughed.

They had to get back (no doubt to gossip and tell Bobby - God Dean wasn't looking forward to that conversation), so they said their farewells, which were littered with winks and a double thumbs up from Charlie.

After they left and the residents were given the all clear, Dean and Cas finally made their way back to Cas's apartment. The elevators were unlocked, so they were crowded as tenants piled in to get back to their apartments.

Once the front door shut Cas was all over Dean. It was a mixture of both desperation and claim. Dean shucked off Cas’s trench. Their hands were everywhere again. Cas pinned Dean to the back of the front door. He was angry; he was emotional. He wanted Dean. He wanted to beat the crap of him, kiss him, tear his clothes off, and make love to him. It was a very volatile mix of feelings.

"You are an assbutt," Cas said, nibbling down Dean's jaw. "Infuriating." His hands were now skimming the bottom of Dean's smokey t-shirt. "No regard for your own safety," Cas murmured between nips and licks at Dean's ear. Cas had his leg in between Dean’s and they both could feel each other’s hardness through layers of underwear and jeans.

"Ow. Too hard, Cas," Dean reacted as Cas bit down on Dean's shoulder through his shirt.

"Sorry," Cas said, lifting Dean's shirt, which was now stuck. "Crap."

Dean laughed a little. "If you wanted to blindfold me, you could have just asked."

"Shut up." Cas said, finally getting Dean's shirt fully off.

Dean stood there smiling for a second until he grabbed Cas and slammed him into the opposite wall, closer to Cas's bedroom door.

Dean knew Cas was upset and angry. What Dean did was stupid, yes, he will admit it, but he was trying to save people. It was his job.

Dean's hands rolled down the plains of Cas's smooth chest. He had a runner’s body that Dean very much enjoyed and planned on mapping every inch of with his hands and tongue at some later point… most likely this weekend.

He grabbed the sharp hip bones visible above Cas's unbelted jeans and squeezed. "Cas," He breathed between licks and kisses.

Can moaned then dropped his hands that were exploring the expanse of Dean's back to unbuckle the green-eyed man's jeans. He was able to get Dean's belt off pretty quickly despite Dean doing his best to distract him by sucking hickeys on his chest and playing with Cas's nipples.

Cas was having some trouble getting to the button fly and looked down for a second, and that was the moment Dean looked up. Their heads collided.

"Ow," Cas said.

"Shit," Dean said, "you okay?" Dean raised his hand to rub where he hit Cas, who did the same. Their hands were on each other, but the heated moment was on pause. They both laughed a bit.

"It's like the world has it out for us whenever we try to..." Cas trailed off.

"Yeah, well I don't care if a giant marshmallow man starts terrorising the city, we are getting naked. Now," Dean said a bit frustrated. He grabbed Cas's jeans roughly and unzipped them. Cas was still laughing, but Dean cut him off with a kiss.

Cas's hands went back to Dean's jeans and finished unbuttoning his fly. "Stupid buttons," Cas said between giving Dean just as many hickeys as he was getting.

They were still up against the wall outside Cas's bedroom. Dean ushered Cas to the door, which stood slightly ajar. It was the same time that Cas started yanking down Dean's jeans and they toppled over, landing on the floor just inside Cas's room.

"Son of a bitch," Dean said, having realized his foot got caught on the strap of his bag. “Are you okay?”

Cas rubbed his side, “If I knew trying to have sex with you was this hazardous, I would have upgraded my insurance.”

“Shut up, Cas,” Dean said, trying to untangle his foot from the bag. He then dragged it towards him to grab a couple of the recent purchases from Babeland so they were better at hand.

“You sure know how to sweet talk a guy,” Cas said propping himself up on his elbows and watched as Dean went through his duffle. “What’s in the bag, pumpkin?” Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas, who didn’t notice and kept going. “Gumdrop? Sugarplum? Peanut?”

“What the fuck?” Dean looked at Cas incredulously.

“You call me ‘babe’, I’m trying to come up with an equally affectionate moniker. The name is similar to what you call one of your two most prized possessions, which I find ironic as the other is called ‘Angel’, and I’m named after one. I have no similar thing to equate to you,” Cas said thoughtfully.

“You want to do this right now?” Dean said frozen in place.

“Well, as the universe seems bent on interruption…” Cas shrugged.

Dean laughed, and pulled out the lube and pack of condoms from the bag and tossed them onto the bed. He then crawled up Cas’s body and hovered over him while they were both still on the floor, kissing as he went

Dean kicked off the rest of his jeans, now only clad in boxers. “Cas, we can do that later. Right now there are more pressing issues,” he said, punctuating the statement by grinding his crotch into Cas’s, which was met with a moan from both men.

Cas grabbed the back of Dean’s head and pulled him down for a filthy kiss, their bodies pressed together. Dean was able to snake his hands down Cas’s sides, and pull down the offending jeans. “Dean,” Cas moaned, as Dean starting moving down his body peppering it with kisses as he went.

“God you’re gorgeous,” Dean said, licking over Cas’s nipples.

“Ahhh, Dean!” Dean was sucking hickeys into Cas’s angled hipbones. Cas grabbed Dean roughly and pulled him back up, slamming their mouths together.

Cas, using skill and strength Dean was previously unaware of, flipped them so Dean was now on his back on the floor. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Cas said with a smirk. He started trailing his own kisses down Dean’s body, sucking on his nipples, leaving hickeys in his wake (especially on the little bit of pudge below his belly button) until he arrived at the hem of Dean’s boxer briefs.

Cas glanced up to look at Dean. He looked wrecked. His hair was all over the place, his green eyes lust-blown; Dean licked his lips, and his breath hitched slightly. Cas’s appearance was pretty similar, his hair even wilder than normal, his blue eyes barely visible through enlarged pupils, and he was covered in hickeys courtesy of Dean.

Cas dragged down Dean’s underwear and his heart beat even faster. Dean’s dick was already slick with pre-cum. Cas licked a long strip on the underside of Dean’s cock before taking it into his mouth. Dean made a noise that was a mixture of a whimper and moan. Cas rested one hand on Dean’s stomach, the other fondling his balls until it dipped back to trace Dean’s rim.

“Yes,” Dean moaned, and he spread his legs slightly and arched up a bit, allowing Cas entrance. Cas sucked Dean down to the hilt and started humming. Words, moans, and sounds poured out of Dean’s mouth, and punctuated with enough dirty talk to even make Cas blush a bit.

Dean grabbed a fist full of Cas’s hair as he continued to go down on him. “Cas, please.” Dean’s other hand pulls on the blanket behind and above him on Cas’s bed. The lube and condoms were tossed there earlier, and Dean tried to get to them. The duvet started moving, and the lube and box tumble down near Dean with the blanket, which fell over Dean’s face. He grumbled and got the blanket off him; he felt Cas laughing around his cock. “Shut-“ His insult is cut short by another moan.

In the distance, Dean hears his phone ring. Cas looks up, his mouth full of cock, pre-cum and spit coming out the sides. “I am not that stupid,” Dean says breathily. A minute later, Cas’s phone rings as well. “If you stop, I swear…” Dean warns. Instead Cas grabs the lube, and pops the cap.

Without removing his mouth, he let go of Dean’s stomach and lubed up his fingers. Dean takes the opportunity to fuck Cas’s face for a few thrusts until he has to stop himself so the party isn’t over before they get to the even better stuff.

Cas pulled off of Dean with a pop, “Dean, we should get on the bed.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, licking his lips. Cas has the lube and starts to get up. Dean reaches over to grab the box of condoms, when Cas gets his foot caught in the duvet and slammed Dean inadvertently onto the bed sideways.

“You know,” Dean says from beneath Cas, “this is getting a bit ridiculous.”

Cas tips his head back and gives a deep, throaty laugh. Dean’s whole face lights up at this, not thinking Cas could get any sexier. _Boy, was I wrong._

They start to kiss again, and Cas opens the lube again, re-slicks his fingers, and slips one into Dean. “Fuck,” Dean says, enjoying the feeling. Cas is sucking kisses into Dean’s neck as he works. One becomes two. Two become three. And Dean is panting now. “Please, Cas.”

Dean grabs the box, tearing it open. Condoms fly everywhere, but Dean gets his hands on one and giving it to Cas, who pulled his fingers from Dean to get it on. Cas opens the lube and covers his sheathed cock with it. He grabs a pillow from the head of the bed and puts it under Dean, who keeps his legs splayed wide.

Dean is lying there on his back and Cas just takes a moment to stare at the sight in front of him. He licks his lips and leans over Dean. Cas lines his cock up with Dean’s entrance and slowly starts moving.

Cas slowly pushes in until he is fully seated. “Move, Cas. Please.” Shallow thrusts progress to deeper ones, as both men are covered in thin sheens of sweat. There are loud moans and screams of pleasure voiced by both, especially when Cas hits Dean’s prostate. Three words: “Fuck! Yes! Cas!” are repeated by Dean on a loud loop.

“Dean!” Cas grunted while thrusting harder. He gets a hand on Dean’s neglected cock and starts pumping. “So close. So tight. So good. Dean,” Cas starts babbling. He leans over and kisses Dean, which is all tongues and teeth as they both keep moving.

Soon enough, Cas shouts Dean’s name again as he cums. Dean is not far behind. They stay close to one another, letting the pleasure course through them.

“That was… awesome,” Dean said, satiated.

“Mmmm,” Cas agreed, slowly pulling himself out and tucking his head in the crook of Dean’s neck. “Finally.”

“Agreed,” Dean said shifting into a more comfortable snuggling position. “We should clean up,” he said with no real desire to move. Cas made a grumpy noise and reached blindly for the nearby nightstand. It was surprisingly easy, considering their awkward placement on the bed, nearly horizontal. Cas’s hand caught the drawer and pulled out a pack of wet wipes.

He sleepily cleaned Dean, leaving kisses in the places Cas cleaned. He tossed the wipes somewhere in the room, and grabbed the mussed duvet and covered them where they were.

“This will probably be a bad decision to sleep like this in the morning,” Dean said, his voice quiet.

“Don’t care. Comfy.” Cas was nuzzling back into the Dean.

“Yeah.” Dean sighed and closed his eyes. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to jesh14 and LoversAntiquities!


	20. Chapter 20

Castiel woke to kisses. They were being trailed down the back of his neck to the top of his spine. He made a contented noise and pressed back against Dean. “Morning, babe.” Dean said in a quiet voice. “Sleep well?”

Cas turned over and faced Dean. “Absolutely.” They gave each other a closed lipped kiss, morning breath and all. Hands trailed across each other’s bodies. They started kissing again, this time deeper, morning breath be damned.

Dean was already hard and Cas was nearly there. The lube was pulled off the nightstand and they took advantage of Dean still being a bit loose from last night to have sleepy and slow morning sex.

Afterwards, they took turns in the bathroom, and each pulled on their underwear from last night, not bothering with more clothing. They walked slowly to the kitchen, Cas with his arms around Dean kissing his bare shoulders.

They had some cereal, and sat at the breakfast bar, their feet dangling and intertwining with one another. Both of their phones were left in the kitchen overnight, so they checked them as they ate.

Gabriel had called last night, after hearing there was a fire in Cas’s building. He then sent a series of texts threatening to call the police if Cas didn’t answer. Cas appreciated his brother’s caring, and sent a quick text that he was fine and otherwise occupied.  He had told his brother in brief about Dean, not wanting to give too much before he knew what was going on. Now that he and Dean were something more, he felt that it was appropriate to elaborate. He texted Gabriel and said he would call next week.

Dean had a few missed calls from his brothers and parents, they must have heard from Bobby about the fire. There were also various texts from his coworkers, some congratulating him on the ‘hot boyfriend’, some bemoaning Charlie’s win, some calling him and idiot, and so forth. He chuckled and sent Sam a text that he was fine, and would see him Monday. He then set his phone down.

“What’s on the agenda today, Cas?” Dean said spooning the last bits of cereal into his mouth.

“Whatever you would like, Dean.” Cas said finishing the milk at the bottom of his own bowl.

“Whatever I want, huh?” He raised an eyebrow and smirked at Cas.

Setting aside his bowl, Cas leaned toward Dean, his eyes darkening. “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

 

They spent the better part of the day in Cas’s bedroom, in the spare bedroom, in the seated kitchen alcove, on the breakfast bar, in the comfy leather chair in the front room, in both showers, the bath tub, the walk in closet, and against every free vertical and horizontal surface. There was kissing, groping, and a lot of orgasms on both their parts. They went fast, slow, and tried various different positions. They had even switched places several times, and Dean sunk into Cas the first time while the blue-eyed man was bent over his own desk. Neither man had so much sex in one day. Apparently, they were making up for a lot of interruptions. 

They stopped occasionally to hydrate or eat something. They also had a bit of fun with the various spreads in Cas’s refrigerator and pantry. Licking honey off of Dean was one of Cas’s preferred “meals” of the day.

By the time nighttime had rolled around again, they were exhausted. They had ordered enough Chinese food to feed an army and were currently tucked up in Cas’s bed watching _Iron Man_ on Dean’s laptop. As Cas had never seen any of the Marvel movies, so Dean was continuing with his pop culture education.

They ended up not having sex again that night, and Dean fell asleep in Cas’s arms.

Sunday was quite similar to Saturday, with more exploration of each other’s bodies, as well as talking. Dean kept to his word and discovered every inch of Cas’s body with his tongue and hands, Cas doing the same in return. They found places that were ticklish, that made them moan, that made them scream.

It was the perfect weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to jesh14 yet again!


	21. Chapter 21

Dean dreamt of big black wings. They engulfed him like a protective shield. There were screams and blood beyond the dark feathers. There was a glint of metal and bright blue eyes. It was Castiel. He was pulling Dean from the depths of somewhere that no soul would ever want to be. He looked at Cas who stood there and opened his mouth to speak, “Get up, I want breakfast.”

Dean blinked his eyes. Cas, sans wings and sword was straddled across him, his hair perpetually mussed. “Dean, wake up.”

Dean groaned. “Cas, if you’re going to wake me up on top of me looking like that, you better not be talking about waffles.”

Cas tilted his head, “Actually, I would like some scrambled eggs.” Cas held a straight face until Dean burst out laughing. Cas leaned down and kissed Dean. It was another hour until Cas got his eggs.

\----------

“It’s the final week of classes, and then I’m done until the Autumn,” Cas said while finishing his breakfast.

Dean nodded, “I’m back to work tomorrow, and Adam gets in today.”

It was a very domestic moment, the two of them sorting their schedules. Dean would most likely be on long shifts for a while, but didn’t want to neglect Cas or whatever this was. ‘Boyfriend’ would probably be the best descriptor, because ‘partner’ sounded way too grown up for Dean. And he still wore batman underwear, so he thought he was safe.

“Do you want to meet him, by the way? Adam? We could all go out to dinner tonight?” Dean offered.

“Shouldn’t it be family only? To catch up and all?”

“Naw, man. Sam can bring Jess. I’ll bring you. If Sammy gets to bring his girlfriend, I get to bring my-” Dean swallowed. Cas looked down, “boyfriend.” Dean continued. Cas blushed and looked at Dean. They both slowly smiled until their mouths smashed into one another, drowning themselves in sweet kisses.

\------

Cas caught the C train downtown, while Dean went uptown. They watched each other from opposite platforms until the other left. Dean was first to go.

Cas sighed, boyfriend. A word that he had not expected out of Dean's mouth. Since the whole 'not sharing pie', it was understood that it was exclusive, but that sold it. It was just over a week since they met and Cas couldn't believe how much his life had changed.

The weekend had been amazing. Words really couldn't describe it. They spent time in each other's company as well as the copious amounts of sex... 

Early Sunday morning, Cas had even gotten up predawn with the urge to paint. He had snuck out of bed, leaving soft kisses on Dean's shoulder. Mere minutes later, Dean had padded into the room naked asking for Cas to come back to bed as it felt empty. Apparently, they had gotten used to sleeping with another person in the bed already.

No matter how tempting Dean's offer was, Cas stayed to paint. Dean curled up in the leather chair and just watched him until he dozed off, which led Cas to repetitively sketching a naked Dean. Not long after the sunrise, Cas had dragged Dean back to bed.

Cas smiles recalling the memories as the train arrived. The weekend had felt like a lifetime yet not nearly long enough. Dean had dug his heels into Cas, and there was no way Cas would ever throw them off.

\----------

Dean got off the elevator smiling; he was thinking about Cas, so it wasn't hard. He was lost so much in his reveries that he didn't notice the child running straight into him.

"Oof!" He exclaimed, looking down.

"Ben! Get back here!" A striking brunette called from down the hall. It was Lisa Braeden. She lived in 4a with her four year old son Ben. She had moved in roughly the same time as Dean.

"Sorry, Dean. He got away from me," She said flashing him a dazzling smile. Lisa had moved in while she was pregnant. Dean had never asked about Ben's father and Lisa had never offered. She had come to Dean for all kinds of medical advice once she saw him in his medic uniform, though.

"No problem, Lisa," Dean said, picking up Ben, "he's just anxious to start the day. Aren't ya, bud?" Ben nodded and smiled.

"You know, I still owe you that dinner for watching Ben a few weeks ago when he was sick," Lisa said throwing Dean a dazzling smile. If it had been not 10 days earlier, Dean might have noticed it. "What about tonight?"

"Sorry, Adam's in town, and we're having a family dinner." Dean said handing Ben over. Dean loved Ben, he had helped Lisa raise him a bit and babysat when he could, and therefore had an affinity for the boy.

Lisa frowned a bit, "Tomorrow?" 

"Back to the trenches, I'm afraid. I'll let you know, though." Dean smiled and headed towards his and Sam's apartment. "See ya guys later! Bye Ben!" They waved as Lisa said bye. 

She watched Dean go. Lisa had tried dating, but once men found out she had a kid, they ran for the hills. She had harboured a bit of a crush on Dean for a while. She could never tell if he was interested, as he flirted with everyone. She also knew that he hadn't been with anyone in a long time, so she had decided to finally make her move. Unfortunately, it looks like her plans were on hold until Dean was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesh14 is my beta. She's cool.


	22. Chapter 22

There was laughter coming from the living room. Dean followed the voices, throwing his keys and wallet in the catchall near the front door.

Adam was on the couch next to Sam, both nearly doubled over in laughter.

“Seriously, it was so sweet, I was going to hurl!” Sam said wiping his eyes.

“Oh, man! That is hiliarious,” Adam said holding his chest.

“What are you two dorks laughing about?” Dean walking into the room and announcing his presence. Dean had an idea, but didn’t want to voice it. They both turned to look at him, grinning and laughing even harder. Well, now he was completely sure they were talking about him and Cas, just not in what context. And Dean sure as Hell wasn’t going to ask. 

“Nice to see you both as well,” Dean crossed his arms in a bit of a huff.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in twist,” Adam said standing up and walking towards Dean. “It’s good to see you, bro.” They hug hello. It’s been a few months since they’ve last seen each other in person.

“Hey, Punk.” It was Dean and Sam’s nickname for Adam. While they were Jerk and Bitch, respectively, Adam was Punk because he grew up a scrawny punk kid who thought he was just as cool as his older brothers, but really just an annoying little shit. They had the oddest terms of endearment, and those would never change. 

“Hey, Jerk. It’s good to see you,” They stepped back. “Wow.” Adam said looking at Dean.

“What?” Dean looked confused.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy in my life. You must have been thoroughly fucked this weekend.” Adam said with a big grin, while Sam nearly choked on his tongue in the background.

“Fuck off.” Dean said with mock anger. He couldn’t be upset, not really, because Adam was right… on both accounts. Dean went and dropped his stuff in his room, leaving the two chuckleheads for a moment. Adam followed Dean, while Sam went to the kitchen.

“Dean?” Adam asked standing at the doorway.

“Yeah?” Dean paid attention to unpacking and throwing a scant few items in the laundry. He didn’t much wear clothes this weekend. He also stole a pair of Cas’s paint splattered sweatpants. It’s only fair considering Cas had never given back the clothes Dean lent him on Friday.

“Seriously, though. From what Sam and Mom have mentioned, and from just looking at you… Cas seems like a good… I mean, I wasn’t lying, you look happy.” Adam said scratching the back of his neck. A trait he picked up from Dean, who picked it up from their father.

 Dean was a bit taken aback. It hadn’t even been a week since their first official date, but was it that obvious? “Thanks, but no more chick flick moments.”

Adam smiled, “No problem. He’s coming to dinner, right?”

“Yes,” Dean said. His brother knew him too well.

“Good, Mom gave me some baby pictures to show ‘em.” Adam said with a wicked smirk and ran out before Dean could grab him.

Dean muttered angrily, but he smiled the whole time. Why? Because he was happy.

 

* * *

 

Dean didn’t know why they had to go fancy for dinner, well fancier than Pies ‘n’ Thighs, which was Dean’s suggestion (“He’s 19 and lives on ramen, so anything with protein is a plus; besides, they make great pie!”), but Brooklyn? Granted Dean’s favourite pie place was there, and a lot of other good food and burgers, and Pie ‘n’ Thighs… Okay, so Dean didn’t have a good argument, but he complained anyway.

The trio of Winchesters plus Jess arrived at Prime Meats around 5pm.  They went to the slightly crowded bar area and each got a drink while they waited for Cas. Adam, who was banned from using his fake ID (though Dean was the one who made it for him), was on soft drinks while in NYC. Jess had a glass of wine, Sam had some cocktail called “Friend of the Devil”, and Dean ordered a beer.

This was the first time Jess had met anyone from Sam’s family besides Dean, and Adam seemed taken with her ("Sam, did you sell you're soul or something? She is way out of your league!"). Dean was sure that a lot of the questions he kept asking weren’t from him, but rather their mom. He felt sorry for Jess, but she took it in stride.

 Halfway through their first round, the entrance opened, and in walked Cas. He was in a nicer pair of jeans (which meant no paint splatter or holes), blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and topped off with a black tie. Dean bit back a moan as soon as he saw him.

Cas looked around and spotted Dean, his eyes lighting up. Dean was in black jeans and a thin black sweater. The weather was still a bit iffy, but it had finally started to get warmer again, which at least meant no jackets. As far as Cas was concerned, Dean looked pornographic, he could tell from here (even though Dean was sat at the bar), that his ass probably looked great in those jeans. He walked over and kissed Dean hello as if no one else were even in the room.

“Hello Dean,” Cas said in his ever-present husky voice.

Dean was a bit flushed. “Hey Cas,” he said in a soft voice. A trio of throat clearing and coughs came from behind Cas. “Oh, right,” Dean looked past his shoulder as Cas turned. “Cas, you know Sammy. This is his girlfriend, Jess, and my youngest brother, Adam.”

They all shook hands, and Jess even gave him a hug. “A pleasure to meet you both, and it’s nice to see you again, Sam,” Cas said genuinely.

“Oh, trust me, the pleasure is all mine,” Adam said with a small smile. Dean knew that smile. That was the one that preceded pranks. That was the one that knew that shit was about to happen and Adam was ready to just sit back and watch everything while cackling maniacally. That was the smile of a punk brother who was about to have way too much fun.

 _Fuck_ was all Dean could think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Jesh14!


	23. Chapter 23

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Dean kept saying, his face in his  hands. Adam had gone to the “bathroom”, which he is sure was code for texting their mom. Jess and Sam just sat there with Cas, all three of them smiling.

Cas laid a hand on Dean’s back. “It wasn’t that bad. Trust me, you haven’t met Gabriel. He gets pretty personal.”

“Really?” Sam asked looking at Cas.

“Yes. He’ll ask your favourite flavour of lube without batting an eyelash,” Cas said.

“Mango.” Jess said, resting her head on her chin. Sam paled, and Cas barked out a laugh.

“See, Dean?” Dean raised his head, and Cas kissed his temple, “It’s fine.” Cas then leaned closer to Dean’s ear and whispered, “if you do feel that badly, though, I can come up with a few ways for you to make it up to me.” Then darted his tongue out quickly to lick a thin strip along Dean’s earlobe. He shuddered in response, and Cas smiled.

Once Adam returned from the “bathroom”, they finished dinner and had dessert. It was still early, so they decided to wander about the city for a bit. Adam had never been before, so they made it a point to show him some things that should not be missed.

They walked up to Remsen Street, and then over to the Promenade. It gave a nice view of Lower Manhattan, and was a bit quieter than the park below. Jess and Sam, her arm tucked in the giant moose's, walked ahead with Adam. Cas and Dean trailed behind, holding hands.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner.” Cas said glancing at Dean.

Dean ducked his head, “Not like I had a choice. I wanted you there. Adam, Sam, and Jess wanted you there. And if they had hopped on a plane to embarrass me in person, my parents would've wanted you there.”

Cas stopped midstep, and pulled Dean close. They looked into each others eyes, lost in the pools of colour. “Good.” Dean dipped his head and kissed Cas sweetly, letting everything that had bugged him from dinner wash away.

“Hey! There are children present!” Sam called, trying to shield Adam’s eyes. Before Dean could react to his meddling brothers, Cas did two things: pulled Dean closer and flipped the two younger Winchesters his middle finger.

It started to get late, and everyone (barring Adam) had to get to work or class tomorrow. They had walked across the Brooklyn Bridge around sunset, taking multiple pictures on everyone’s phones. Cas’s favourite was a sly one he got of Dean mid-laugh at something Sam had said. Dean’s favourite was one Jess took of Dean kissing Cas’s cheek, the other man’s eyes were closed and a small smile on his lips.

Jess hopped on the 4 train once they finished crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, hugging everyone and kissing Sam longer than either of his brothers thought decent.

The rest of them caught the A train. Cas got off at 59th to grab the C train, Dean not wanting to let him go, but both had work in the morning. The door nearly closed on them kissing… twice. With a sigh, Cas stood on the platform and watched the train (and Dean) pull away.

Dean sat back down next to his brothers. “Not a word.”

Sam and Adam barely hid their smiles. “Wasn’t going to say a thing,” Sam said from his left.

“Whipped,” Adam said, being a bit more brazen, though he tried to cover it with a cough.

Dean smacked his littlest brother upside the head, and kicked Sammy in the shin for good measure. _Jackasses._

 

* * *

 

 

Dean lay in bed. It was near 11pm and he needed to be up in a few hours, but sleep wasn’t coming. He could hear Adam snore from the living room, and knew Sam was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He thought about what Adam said whipped. There’s no doubt that Cas had stuck in Dean’s head since they met. They had spent an inordinate amount of time together as well, but that’s just because Dean had days off. They also did that ridiculous question thing, and maybe that’s why. _It was supposed to help people fall in l- I mean get closer._ Even in his thought’s he couldn’t say the word because it was definitely too soon. It seemed as if it were heading in that direction, though.

Dean turned over and looked at Cas’s side of the bed. _Woah._ He stopped himself again. He was thinking way to hard about this. And the questions Adam had, that had his parents’ fingerprints all over them. And oh God, he had to go back to work tomorrow. He groaned into the pillow. _Not good at all._

His pity party was interrupted by his phone ringing, this time it was Weezer’s “Undone (The Sweater Song)”. Yeah, so maybe after Cas told him what his favourite song was he downloaded the ringtone for it. He could barely use the damn thing, but at least he knew how to do basic things like that (and he might have had to go to the Apple Store for a little tutorial).

Dean picks up his phone, the picture for Cas was originally one Dean had found on the Internet, but now it’s one from this weekend. Cas is standing ridiculously close to the camera smiling, with paint smudged on his face. They may or may not have done a little body painting at one point.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said with a warm smile.

“Hello Dean.” His voice seemed even lower and more gravelly than usual. It warmed every part of Dean.

“What are you doing up so late?” Not that Dean wasn’t happy to hear from Cas, but he had class in the morning, and Cas hasn’t been running in a few days as well. Something Dean had learned about Cas over the weekend. No wonder his ass was-

“Couldn’t sleep. I hope I didn’t wake you.” Cas interrupted Dean’s thoughts.

“No, same goes for me.” Dean admitted.

“I—I just wanted to say goodnight.” Cas said hesitantly. He had really wanted to say _I miss you_ , but chickened out.

“You called just to say goodnight?” Dean questioned as he missed Cas too. There was silence for a moment, then in a quiet voice, Dean spoke, “…My bed feels too big.”

“Mine too. When will I see you again?” Cas felt a bit relieved with that admission from Dean. He was worried that he’d seem too clingy, considering how much time they had spent together in such a short period.

“Don’t know, I’ve got a lot of days on for a while and a few 48s.” Dean honestly didn’t know, he’d be dead tired most of the next few weeks. He still had to get to practice in Brooklyn, which he knows he’s slacked on, but he wanted to fit Cas in someway. He couldn’t not see him, it was hard enough just for a few hours. He’s gotten addicted quickly.

“Hmmmm.” Cas made a solemn noise. _I guess the questions were too much. Meeting his family was too much. I fucked up. Shit. Shit. Shit. Nice going, Novak. You shouldn’t have tried so much. You scared him off. You are going to die alone. Dean was perfect and you screwed up. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. DON’T CRY._

“Yeah, sucks. Hey, umm, what are you doing the Fourth of July?” Dean asked. He might not know when he’d get another free hour, but this year the other rescues shift lost the annual coin toss for July 4th. It’s the first time in three years, so Dean and his entire crew had the day off. They were going to live it up.

“Nothing as far as I know.” Cas answered.

“We are having a BBQ over at Benny’s place in Jersey. Yes, we have to go to the Garbage State, but it should be a lot of fun. Do you… do you want to come?” Dean asked hopefully.

 _Wait. I didn’t screw up. Oh thank God._ Cas took a soft breath and answered with a smile. “I’d love to, Dean.”

“Awesome.” Dean said while trying not to yawn.

Cas heard the noise anyway. “You should get some sleep.”

“Not yet.” Dean said shifting in his bed a bit.

“Dean.” Cas using his best authoritative voice, which tended to give Dean shivers down his spine and no chance to disobey.

“What are you wearing?” Dean asked cocking his eyebrow.

“Why?” Cas furrowed his brow, wondering why Dean would ask him.

“Cas…” Dean did not whine.

“Your Led Zeppelin shirt and some underwear.” He looked down at his clothes, lifting the bed sheet as if to double check.

“Take them off.” Dean purred over the phone.

“No, it smells like you.” Again, Cas was confused.

“Cas… take them off.” Dean, now accentuating each word as he spoke.

“Why?” He didn’t tend to sleep naked, well until Dean.

Suddenly, there was rustling on Dean’s end of the line. “Because I’m naked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Jesh14!
> 
> I also wanted to just say a quick thanks to everyone who has commented, added kudos, subscribed, and read this fic. I honestly love seeing the stats get higher (it's become an addiction). Thank you guys so much for reading and liking this AU.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean woke up to his alarm the next morning after a very good night's sleep thanks to a preceding phone call.

It had been a bit award at first, neither of them having had phone sex before ("Seriously, Dean. How is this sexy? Wait... What did you just--- you want me to what? I am not blushing... much. Okay, maybe it's not as... Mmmm..."), but they got the swing of it pretty quickly.

Dean opened his door to a pillow chucked in his face.

"You are a pervert and have scarred me for life." Adam said from his position on the couch, cereal bowl on the table in front of him.

"Morning to you, too." Dean grumbled as he walked past his brother.

"'Christ, Cas! Oh yes, right there. Just let me cum. Please. I-- I want you fuck me harder. Right there. Oh God I wish you were here. That filthy mouth of yours..'" Adam trailed off his imitation of Dean and took a bite of his cereal. "Try not to be so loud when you're phone sexing your boyfriend – especially when your little brother is trying to sleep in the next room, jerk."

Dean was embarrassed, yes, but his skill at covering it up and hitting with a comeback was better. “Well, punk, if you memorised it, I’m sure you enjoyed it as much as I did.” He winked at his little brother and continued onto the bathroom.

“Ugh, gross.” Adam called after him. Dean just chuckled.

Dean texted Cas a quick good morning before hopping the subway and going to work; yeah, he was gone. If anyone was worth it, Cas was.

By the time he got to work, and a signal reappeared on his phone. Cas had texted back. It made Dean smile as he walked into the firehouse.

“How’s loverboy?” Ash said spotting Dean near the door.

“Morning, Ash.” Dean scowled. _Had to be first thing, ugh. Jackasses._ “Good. How’s the pool table you’ve been sleeping with down at Harvelle’s?”

“Comfortable and full of holes.” Ash said with a smirk.

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.” Charlie said walking past. Dean and Ash both laughed.

Dean quickly stowed his bag and changed and hit up the break room for some coffee. Ash was in the corner chatting with Jo. Charlie was making a new pot for everyone, while Benny, Gads, Vic, and Lee sat at the table eating.

“Well, looky here. Took you long enough to get your ass back to work.” Lee said with a smile.

“Oh, you can’t blame him. He needed the time off so he wasn’t walking funny when he came back.” Jo said grinning.

“He always walks funny.” Gads remarked.

Everyone was laughing… except Dean. He knew it was going to be bad…

“Har har. Well laugh it up, but besides me, Charlie, and Benny, the rest of you just have your right hands on date night.” Dean said walking over for some coffee.

“Oooh, low blow Winchester.” Ash said folding back the NY Times to do the crossword.

“You’re all just jealous. I mean, I don’t even swing that way, but Cas was one fine looking man. I’d consider going straight for that, if I could get over the thought of…” Charlie shuddered not even wanting to imagine the male anatomy.

“Thanks, Charlie.” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, she’s just being nice because she cleaned everyone out.” Jo said biting into a blueberry muffin.

“Oh, and about that, no more betting on me and my private life.” Dean gave himself a mental pat on the back for remembering not to say ‘love life’ this time.

This was followed by loud arguments, “sore loser” comments, and a lot of laughter. Ultimately, they were all accepting as much as they were when they met Cas a few days ago. Dean breathed a silent sigh of relief at this.

Dean was washing down one of the rigs with Murph, when Richie walked over. “Yo, Dean. Cap wants a chat.”

Dean dropped the sponge in a nearby bucket. “Go with God, my son.” Murph said.

“Funny.” Dean said with an annoyed expression. Jim Murphy went to Catholic School his entire education, and was actually in the seminary, but left for reasons he never told anyone, before he became a firefighter.

Dean walked past Richie and went to Bobby’s office. He had successfully avoided his surrogate father all day, trying to avoid any awkwardness. Before Dean raised a hand to knock, he heard a voice from within. “Get in here, ya idjit.”

Dean opened the door to see Bobby sitting behind a cluttered desk with an old FDNY trucker cap perched on his head. “Sit.”

Dean swallowed his nerves, and did as he was told. “Bobby…”

“Oh, don’t you dare. I’ve got a host of things to yell at you for. And you were going into a fire half-cocked with no equipment like that? What is your problem? I know you don’t have a death wish, but I didn’t know you were that stupid. I got yelled at for an hour by your parents and it wasn’t even my fault, ya dumb sack of shit. You owe them one hell of an apology for that, and it goes double for me.”

“Sorry,” Dean eked out. Bobby knew that for Dean to even say that and not fight, it was something.

“Ya, well sorry won’t cut it when you’re dead.” That was Bobby’s way of accepting said apology. “Well, I’d yell at you more, but as I know for a fact you haven’t spoken to your parents, I’ll let them have the pleasure.”  Bobby said with a bit of a smile.

Shit, Bobby was right. He hadn’t spoken to them. _Fuck_ , Dean thought. _That was not going to be a pleasant conversation._

“Now, I don’t need no gory details, but I hear you’ve been seeing someone. As I’d rather not get involved, seems I haven’t a choice.” Bobby said gruffly.

Dean did not like where this conversation was heading.

“Bring him to Harvelle’s one night. We’d all like to properly meet him.” Bobby said with a raised eyebrow. Dean bet everyone had some good laughs on Friday night when they got back to the station and told Bobby. Dean wished he could curl up and die right now.

“Um, Bobby…” Dean managed to say, his brain working overtime to figure out how his day went so totally off the rails. It wasn’t even lunch time yet.

“Um, nothing, boy. You bring him to Harvelle’s on Friday. End of story. Oh, and it’s Captain when we’re here, ya idjit.” Bobby looked back at the stacks of reports, signaling the end of the conversation.

“Yes, sir.” Dean nodded warily got up and turned to leave.

“Oh, and Dean?” Bobby said, glancing up.

“Yeah, Cap?” Dean asked already at the door.

“Preferably fully clothed this time.” Dean nodded and left quickly. Bobby gave a small smile that Dean never saw. He was happy for the kid, though he’d never let anyone know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the awesome jesh14.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ATTACK.

Over the course of the next few days, Dean and Cas don’t see each other. Dean texts Cas random fire safety tips, as well as a picture of himself in uniform. Cas texts back bits about his students, the weather (“Where did this heat come from?!”), and bits of half finished thoughts on art. Mostly, they text “I miss you.”

Vic looks over Dean’s shoulder. “Aww, you miss him. Ain’t that just the sweetest.”

Dean has gotten used to the ribbing, he takes it in stride now. “Yeah, I miss him. Want to make something of it?”

“Only if that making involves dinner, boy.” Bobby calls in passing. Dean blushes and punches Vic the stomach for laughing.

 

* * *

 

Cas is on the train home Friday. He’s not paying much attention to anything. He gets to see Dean tonight, so he’s happy. It’s an odd sensation for him, but he goes with it. A woman and her friend are sitting next to one another rambling on about something, but he catches the name “Dean” and does everything not whip his head around.

He vaguely recognises the brunette woman, but he’s not sure from where.

“Yeah, so Dean helped me on Tuesday night with Ben, he was so sweet. I made sure to drop by and thank him, but he wasn’t home. One of his brothers was. I think we are making real headway. He’s smiling more, and is happier. I think I’m going to ask him out tonight. “ He brunette says.

“Ugh, finally! I mean, he’s been flirting with you for ages. Time you finally get into that hottie’s pants.” The other woman says.

Cas doesn’t hear them after that. The words: Dean and Brothers. Repeats over in his head. It was his Dean. Dean was going to say yes, and realize that Cas was a mistake. That Cas wasn’t worth it. He even said last weekend that though he’d been with guys before, it had never gone as far as penetrative sex, not until Cas. It was too much for him. He realized it was wrong. Now he was going to live an apple pie life with the woman on the train.

Cas didn’t even remember getting off the subway let alone walking home. He doesn’t remember throwing up or sitting in the shower crying, not having taken off any of his clothes, which is how Dean finds him.

After not answering his door, he gets Garth to let him in (as Garth had seen Cas come home, and gave the doorman permission to let Dean in whenever he would show up).

Dean heard water running and crying. Cas was sitting at the bottom of the shower stall curled up in his shorts, t-shirt, and shoes crying. Dean wondered what was wrong with Cas. He knew the guy suffered from depression and anxiety, it was clear enough from his answers on their first official date, but he didn’t know what triggered it. Then again, it could have been anything or nothing.

Dean reached out and turned the water off. “Cas,” he said softly.

Cas looked at Dean and started panicking. He scrambled away to the far corner of the stall. Dean put up his hands in a non-threatening gesture. “Hey, Cas. It’s okay. It’s me. Dean. I just—I just need you to breathe.” One thing you never say to someone in severe emotional states, like ‘are you okay’ because that never helps. Dean knows this for several reasons.

Cas just looks at him and starts shivering. Dean moves to grab the towel hanging to his right. “Cas, you’re wet. You’re going to catch something. Take this towel. Let’s get you dry.” He doesn’t know how long Cas has been like this. It was at least a few hours, as it’s close to 8pm at the moment. They are supposed to go to Harvelle’s, Adam had his interview on this morning, so going tonight would serve as both a celebration for him and an introduction to Cas, but there is no way in Hell would Dean subject him to that right now.

Cas takes the towel, but still emits chocking sobs. To say that Dean was worried was an understatement. He moved closer, Cas flinched, so Dean moved back. “Okay, I’m here if you need anything. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to, Cas. I’m right here.”

Cas drapes the towel over himself like a blanket and curls up on the shower floor just staring wide-eyed at Dean. His eyes glaze over after a while, and he eventually falls asleep. Dean had already texted that they weren’t going to make it, and sent apologies. He said Cas wasn’t feeling well, ate something funny at lunch. Could have been true for all Dean knew. They were sympathetic.

Once Cas had fallen asleep, Dean gingerly picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. He stripped Cas carefully, and redressed him in dry clothes and tucked him in. Dean didn’t dare get into bed with Cas, not knowing if touch would set him off, so he grabbed a blanket and pillow and set up on the floor near Cas’s side, so he could keep an eye on him.

Cas wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. Dean jolts himself upright.

“Cas! Cas! Breathe. Breathe.” Dean says, his arms outstretched, still not touching Cas.

Cas looks around and sees Dean in his makeshift bed on the floor. He stops screaming and takes a few deep breaths. “Dean? Wh-what are you doing here? How am I- what happened?” Cas was confused and disorientated.

“I don’t know, man. But I didn’t find you in a good way. May I touch you?” Cas nods slowly as Dean approaches him and sits on the bed. He wraps an arm gently around Cas, but as soon as he does, everything comes flooding back. Cas flinches and moves away.

Dean doesn’t want me. Dean is going to leave me. He starts rocking himself. “No one wants me. Everyone leaves me.”

Dean’s eyes go wide. “Hey, hey Cas. That’s not true. I want you. I won't leave unless you tell me to.”

Cas looks at him. “No, you’re going to marry her and have a family and live happily ever after. And I’ll be alone.”

Dean had no idea who Cas was talking about. “Cas, I’m not leaving you. There is nobody else in my life but you, my family, and work.”

“No, you have her, and you’ll leave me because of this. I’m not worth it. I’m a burden. I’m not good enough.” Cas is full on crying again.

Dean let out a silent sigh. Whoever this ‘her’ was, Dean has never hit a woman before, but in this moment considered it. “You are not a burden. You are worth it. Cas, I haven’t gone on a date in years. I probably haven’t slept with anyone in about the same length of time. You are definitely good enough.”

Dean is still not touching Cas. “Cas, do you have medication.” He nodded in response. “Did you take it today?” Cas shook his head. “Do you want me to get it?” Cas shook his head again. “Do you want me to leave?” Cas hesitates briefly, but shook his head. “May I touch you?” He nods.

Dean shifts closer and wrapped his arms around a frightened Cas. He gives a light kiss to the crying man’s temple. “Let’s lay down, okay?” Cas curls up to Dean and slowly the sobs subside. He falls asleep with Dean rubbing gentle circles on his back. He kisses Cas gently again, and closes his eyes hoping that Cas feels better tomorrow knowing that Dean isn’t going to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jesh14.


	26. Chapter 26

Sunshine permeated the apartment, but Cas burrowed deeper into the bed. He grabbed the nearby pillow and buried his face in it. It smelled like Dean.

Suddenly, last night came rushing back. Cas went pale. He broke down in front of Dean, who was not in bed with him. He left. Panic started to set in just as the bedroom door opened.

Dean walked in carrying a tray laden with food. "Morning, babe. I cooked us some grub. I bet you're hungry." Dean said with a small smile.

Cas blinked just sitting there staring at Dean. "Cas, babe. Breathe."

Cas took a breath. Dean didn't leave. _He stayed._ "Hello Dean." Was all Cas could manage.

Dean's smile widened. "So, you hungry?" He said motioning to the tray that he set on the bed between them.

Cas had a thousand things to say and ask. "Why are you here?" Being the first thing to pop out.

Dean took a bite of bacon. "Where else would I be?"

"Work?"

"Called in sick." He shrugged taking a bite of eggs.

"Why?"

Dean looked at Cas. "You asked me to stay, I stayed. You needed me, I'm here."

Cas's jaw dropped but he recovered quickly. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity, Cas. I get it. You're not the only one who has dealt with things like this. After Kate died, and Sam. I've been through it myself and helped others. I'd never leave you, Cas. Not unless you told me to."

Cas just sat there quietly. He still hadn't eaten anything. "Why?" He asked again, this time quieter.

Dean leaned over and placed a gentle hand under Cas's chin and lifted so their eyes met. "Because I care about you. Now stop with the frowning and eat."

 

* * *

 

Cas eventually finished breakfast. He went back to bed as Dean did the dishes. When Dean came back into the bedroom, he crawled in next to Cas, who latched onto Dean even before he was settled. "Octo-Cas strikes again." He said with a quiet laugh. Cas just nuzzled into Dean's chest.

"Can we stay like this all day?" Cas asked, his voice muffled.

"Whatever you want, babe." Dean kissed the unruly mop of hair and closed his eyes.

They woke hours later, Cas finally felt rested. He was being spooned by Dean. Undulating lips were pressed at the base of his neck, and a leg was wedged between his own. "Dean?" Cas asked softly.

Dean murmured and moved closer to Cas. He kissed the spot where his lips were and thrust gently into Cas.

"Dean." Cas said a little louder. Dean responded with the same actions.

Cas gently turned his head, Dean was still asleep. His eyelids moving, but he kept thrusting. He was dreaming. "Cas." He breathed and thrust again, his erection slid against Cas's ass. He was having a wet dream... about Cas.

Without jarring him too much, Cas fully turned around and gently kissed Dean on the lips. As if on autopilot, Dean kissed back. First it was lazily, but then he seemed to wake up mid-kiss and went full force.

Cas's eye shot open as Dean reached around and grabbed Cas's ass.

"Dean." Cas moans.

"Too many clothes." Are the only coherent words that aren't _Cas_ and _Yes_ for a short while after that tumbles from Dean's mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean has to head back to work tomorrow and the majority of the week. As Cas has no classes, so Dean asks him to stay over. He missed seeing Cas. More importantly, he doesn't want Cas alone.

He doesn't mention a time limit on Cas's visit. Dean also packs some sketchbooks and other supplies as well, and they head to Dean's apartment.

When they arrive, Adam and Sam were playing video games in the living room.

"Hey Dean. Hey Cas, you feeling better?" Sam asked with a bit of genuine concern.

"Bad sushi from the deli." Dean answers quickly.

"Dude never get sushi at the deli. First rule." Sam says with a shake of his head.

"I wasn't thinking. I've learned my lesson." He gives a small smile and glances at Dean.

They all hang out the rest of the night. Adam and Sam recounting the night at Harvelle's ("Ash tried hitting on Jo. Ellen nearly cracked a bottle over his head."). They ate Chinese takeaway and played video games until the wee hours of the morning. Apparently Cas was a natural at Mario Kart.

Dean gets up at one point and retreats to his bedroom to make a phone call. She answers on the first ring. "Took you long enough."

"Hey Mom."

"Don't 'hey mom', me. I have to hear from Bobby that you ran into a fire with no gear. Then you just text the next day and say not to worry. I haven't heard from you in over a week!"

Dean sits on his bed and rubs a hand over his face. "Yeah, sorry."

"Dean..." He knows that tone of voice. He's about to be read the riot act.

"Dean," Mary sighs, "I get it, you like to help people. If not for you, me and Sammy wouldn't be here, but you won't always be lucky or quick enough. And now, now you have Cas to consider." When Dean was four, there was a fire in the house, he woke up and ran to get his mother with baby Sam in his arms. Their dad was on deployment at the time. The house burned, but everyone lived.

"Mom."

"No, I know you like Cas, and from what your brothers tell me it seems like it's more than just that." Mary says with intent.

"Thanks for those questions, by the way. Did you really need to know how many people he dated before me? I swear I thought you and Dad were going to pop out and give him the third degree yourselves." Dean responds, a bit agitated.

Mary heaves a small sigh. "Dean, we care about you. A lot of people care about you. We just wanted to know that Cas was good enough for you."

Dean scoffed. "Of course he is! But what makes you think I'm good enough for him?! He's a genius. He's more talented and amazing than anyone I've ever met. I couldn't even begin to compare. I'm the lucky one."

Mary doesn't want to argue. She knows her son has an issue with self-worth and self-esteem. He never thought about himself in any respect, always putting others first. She both loved and hated this trait of her eldest son. "You're both lucky."

There is a bit of silence until they switch conversations, talking about innocuous topics until Cas pokes his head in to say that everyone is heading to bed.

"Is that Cas?" Mary asks.

"Um, yeah." Dean says quietly.

"May I speak with him?" She asks, though Dean knows it's not a request.

"Mom!"

"Put him on the phone." _Yep, definitely an order._

Dean drops the phone from his ear. "Hey Cas, my um mom wants to talk to you, is that okay?"

Cas nods, "yes, of course." He takes the phone from Dean. "Hello Mrs. Winchester."

"Mary." She says warmly.

"Mary." Cas parrots.

"I'd like to Skype with both you boys soon for a proper conversation, but I just wanted to quickly say thank you." Mary can only get so much from secondhand accounts and wants to see how they act with each other for herself.

"Um." Cas is a little stunned and apprehensive about this.

"I was afraid Dean wouldn't have anyone. Yes I know it's a bit early, but I'm happy that he has you." Mary says trying to encourage Cas.

"Thank you Mary, but I should really thank you." He responses earnestly.

"Nonsense. Oh, and John says that he's pretty handy with a Bowie knife and colt revolver, so don't mess things up." Mary said with a bit of force. It was meant in jest, slightly.

Cas holds back a laugh that is also laced with worry. "I'd never intentionally hurt him, ever." Cas's eyes raise to Dean's as he speaks.

Mary's smile is evident in her voice. "Good. Goodnight to you both, let's have that longer chat soon, okay Cas?"

"Yes, of course. Goodnight Mary." And with that, she hangs up.

"What was that about?" Dean asked nervously.

"Oh, the general parental threat on my life if I hurt you." Cas said ruefully.

"Hatchet and a shot gun?" Dean asks with a smile.

"Bowie knife and a colt."

"Wow, close quarters. They must like you." Dean leans over and kisses Cas. He was a bit worried, then again, Cas hadn't talked to John directly yet.

"Ha." Cas said in deadpan.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Cas woke up early and decided to go for a run. He borrowed one of Dean's shirts and pulled on his shorts and running shoes. He also grabbed Dean's keys from the bowl near the door.

He came back an hour later, drenched in sweat, but decidedly happier. The brunette woman from the train, Lisa, sees him, as she lives across the hall. Cas doesn't notice, he is too busy fiddling with his phone to check his running stats.

She eyes him as he walks to Dean's door. Lisa knows that isn't one of Dean's brothers. She met them both before. _Probably a friend staying over._ She muses.

Cas walks into the apartment to find a sleepy Dean padding down the hallway barefoot, clad in boxers and a Sturgill Simpson t-shirt.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Dean asks wrapping his arms around Cas.

"I went for a run. I didn't want to wake you." Cas said, toeing off his shoes.

"And stole my shirt in the process?" Dean said burying his head in the crook of Cas's neck, despite the sweat.

"How do you know it's yours?" Cas asked wryly.

"It says FDNY Rescue 1. So unless you've got something to tell me."

"Touché."

"You are all kinds of sweaty gross. Go shower." Dean says pulling back.

"Join me?" Cas asks.

At the moment, there is a knock on the door. "Get it started, I'll be there in a minute." He smacks Cas's ass as he walks to the front door.

Dean opens the door to find his neighbour, Lisa. "Hey Lisa, what's up?"

Lisa is a bit taken aback. Dean is standing there in boxers and a shirt, obviously just having woken up. _Damn he looks good._ "Hey, I wanted to know if you were available to take me up on my offer for dinner tonight?" She asks, fluttering her eyelashes and gives him a sultry smile.

"Sorry, Lisa. I've got company."

"Oh, a friend from work? I saw a guy in a FDNY shirt."

Before Dean could answer, the bathroom door cracked open and steam spilled out. "Winchester, you getting that sweet ass in here anytime soon?"

Dean blushed and Lisa paled. _Oh shit. He's gay._ "Not exactly. I've uh got to go. Maybe sometime next week? You can come over, bring Ben. I'll cook." He offers her an apologetic smile and closes the door.

In the hallway Lisa is just flabbergasted. She was sure Dean was straight. He had flirted with her for years and practically raised Ben. Heck, Ben even thought of Dean as a father figure. She slumps her shoulders and walks back to her apartment.

Dean turns and puts Lisa out of his mind as he enters the bathroom. He can hear Cas singing quietly to himself. Dean is quiet as he undresses so not to interrupt. Cas's gravelly voice carries softly over the sound of running water. " _Honey you are a rock, Upon which I stand, And I come here to talk, I hope you understand, That green eyes, Yeah the spotlight, shines upon you, And how could anybody deny you, I came here with a load,_ _And it feels so much lighter, Now I met you, And honey you should know, That I could never go on without you, Green eyes_..."

Dean slowly slips in the shower behind Cas, and wraps his arms around him. Cas stops mid-song.

"No, keep going." Dean says softly and kisses Cas's shoulder before he reaches for the soap.

Cas looks at Dean and continues softly. How could he even think I'd want anyone but him. Dean thinks to himself. _I'm so lucky._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my dearest Jesh14.


	27. Chapter 27

Weeks pass. Adam returns to Kansas. Sam continues his studies and spends time with Jess. Dean works more often than not. Cas paints and works on various pieces during the day. At night (when Dean isn't on overnight shifts), Dean either stays at Cas's or Cas stays at Dean's.

The Skype session with John and Mary was awkward to say the least. Dean blushed the whole time, while Cas held his hand off-camera. Mary quizzed Cas about his family, which echoed the ones Adam asked weeks ago. When John asked about sports, Cas reluctantly told him team sports weren't his thing. "So chess team?" John joked

"Track for a bit, then I started learning hand-to-hand combat when I was 12. Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Krav Maga, Muay Thai, Sambo, boxing, and a few other disciplines." Everyone (Dean included) sat there in mild shock. "People thought twice about trying to beat up the gay kid, including my older brothers. Things changed once I got to university, but I still train.”

Mary frowned, John gave him a look of admiration, Dean just squeezed his hand. His second thought was more “gutter” related: _Explains his flexibility._

The conversation went on for over an hour until Dean and Cas promised to visit this summer.

Things also changed with Lisa. When Dean had her and Ben over for dinner, Cas was there too. She got over her crush once she saw how they acted with one another. Lisa wasn't that kind of person, she wasn’t a home wrecker. Cas even offered himself as babysitter if Dean wasn't available, when Ben seemed enthralled with Cas's drawings. Lisa happily accepted.

Cas even dropped by the firehouse a time or two while Dean was on shift. When he met Bobby, they shook hands and didn't speak for over a minute, just a silent inspection. Bobby then folded his arms and asked, "You like whiskey?" Cas nodded. "Good, and stay away from bargain sushi next time." That was probably the closest to approval that Dean had ever seen.

Cas also brought baked goods from various locations around the city, which ingratiated himself to the entire company. Once he even brought a few whole pies from Four and Twenty Blackbirds. This earned Cas a heated and hurried blowjob in the bathroom. Thankfully they didn't get caught, though thought it best not to bring any more pie to Dean's work, just in case.

As the Fourth of July approached, life for once in Dean and Cas's life seemed good. “Ugh, I hate Jersey." Dean said groaning from behind the wheel of the truck. Cas was sat next to Dean checking directions on his phone. Sam and Jess had another party to go to in the city, but would take NJ Transit out later in the day.

"We could have taken the train instead of driving."

“No way in Hell am I stepping on that Bridge and Tunnel infested train, especially on a holiday. I haven't had to deal with random strangers vomiting on me in years, I am not breaking that streak today."

Cas laughed and the truck moved along slowly in traffic along the NJ Turnpike. They finally made it to Benny’s, enjoying good company, good food, and some back yard games. Dean may or may not have dragged Cas into the downstairs bathroom or a serious make-out session, after the water guns came out. Cas can’t help that he looks good in a drenched t-shirt, and Dean was just being appreciative.

Two weeks later, Dean has the day off and they are at his apartment sat on the couch, watching _Guardians of the Galaxy_ , as Cas is nearly up to date with his Marvel movie education.

“I like this a lot. The raccoon and tree especially, though Peter reminds me of you.” Cas said thoughtfully.

“You saying I look good in a leather jacket?”

“Amongst other things, but I was talking about his personality more so.”

Dean looks at Cas who stares intently at the screen, while nestled into his side. It’s been nearly two months. Two months of Cas, and Dean can’t believe it. It’s as if he didn’t understand what his life was life before Cas.

The blue-eyed man glances up at Dean to find him just staring. “I thought the awkward staring was my job?” He says with hint of a smile.

Dean doesn’t say anything, and just leans down to kiss Cas. It’s filled with emotion that Dean isn’t ready to put into words. The angle is awkward, so Cas shifts his position to lie down. Cas shifts his legs and begins to lean back, Dean has no other choice but to follow. Dean quickly crawls over him, and they lay flush on the couch exploring each other's mouths while hands groped and roamed along one another's bodies.

Dean's hand skimmed the hem of Cas's shirt, and inched his hands upwards feeling nothing but skin. The blue-eyed man’s hands drifted from Dean's face, to his shoulders, to his back, and eventually his ass. Cas squeezed and bucked up into Dean, his erection grinding soundly into the man splayed out on top of him. They both moaned into each other's mouths.

They reluctantly separated for the briefest of moments to remove their t-shirts (though their clothes have become mixed up in the past few weeks, and they had taken to sharing - so at this moment, they were actually discarding shirts that belonged to the other).

Lips crashed back together and tongues dived into mouths. Dean's hands found Cas's nipples and were soon replaced by his tongue, which slowly made its way down Cas's body stopping at pulse points and collar bones.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair, slightly pulling and kneading. Dean moaned softly while Cas let words spill out of his mouth on repeat - yes Dean please - being the most popular.

Dean shifted back up, capturing Cas's mouth again. Their hands fumbled for one another's belts and zippers, hurrying to feel more of each other's skin. Jeans were eventually kicked away, only hitting each other's shins once or twice. They mumbled soft apologies in between huffed laughs and kisses.

They were down to their underwear, which provided just enough friction but not enough. "Cas." Dean breathed into the other man's neck. Cas slipped his hands beneath Dean's briefs and grabbed his ass with full force. Dean moaned loudly as his erection ground against Cas's. Both were soon divested of the last stitch of clothing as Dean reached for his jeans quickly.

They had each taken to carrying around packets of lube and condoms since the incident at the firehouse. Apparently they both seemed to have a bit of a thing for sex in public places every now and again. In reality, they were both addicts to one another and it found them both insatiable.

Dean grabbed both and went right back to kissing his way down Cas's body. When he got to his cock he gave it a few open mouthed kisses as as continued past Cas's balls to his hole. Dean started licking and driving his tongue into Cas. "Yes! Dean! Please! More! Nnngh..." Cas was reduced to incomprehensible noises and lubed fingers soon joined Dean’s tongue.

“Please. I need you now Dean! Need you!" Cas said grabbing Dean's hair and yanking him up to his mouth. While letting Cas kiss him for all he was worth, he blindly opened the foil and rolled the condom on himself. He slicked himself up and slowly pressed into his boyfriend until he was fully seated. “Move, Dean.” Cas said after a minute.

They fell into a comfortable rhythm as they groped and kissed whatever parts of each other they could reach. Cas’s legs were spread wide, taking advantage of his flexibility that Dean reveled in. Moans and encouraging words were whispered to one another, until Dean hit Cas’s prostate, which made him scream Dean’s name.

They moved in tandem, Dean pushing into Cas, while he pushed back, trying to get Dean as deep as possible. “So close…” Dean whispered as he sucked another hickey into Cas’s flushed skin. Dean didn’t even have to reach for Cas’s cock, because as soon as Dean hit his prostate again, Cas came untouched. Dean followed seconds after.

They lay there breathing heavily, as Dean tried not to let his full weight collapse on Cas. “Mmmmm…” was the only thing Cas was able to say, and Dean just laughed softly in response.

He pulled out slowly, and kissed Cas, letting it linger. “My sentiments exactly.” Dean’s stomach suddenly grumbles. “Maybe we should go grab something before we start the next film, or rather rewind this one.” He says with a wink.

Cas rolls his eyes, and slowly gets up. “Well, at least you waited until we finished this time…”

“That only happened once, and you’re going to hold it over me forever.” Dean said sitting back on his heels.

“Dean.” Cas said unamused.

“Look, you don’t want it to happen again, don’t start grinding against me when there is a bakery around the corner.” Dean said defensively, as he slipped on his underwear.

They quickly get dressed and head to the bodega on the corner. Dean slips his arm around Cas and nuzzles his neck. Any passerby would think they were nauseatingly sweet, and induce cavities on sight.

They enter the shop, and Cas grabs some iced tea for both of them. He turns from the refrigerators only to find Dean near the pie.

“You know those pies don’t taste good, and you’ll just be disappointed after the first bite.” Cas said, scanning the various crisps on display.

Dean says with a bit of ire. “No, I read ‘pie’. The rest is just ‘blah blah blah’.

“Dean.” Cas says rolling his eyes.

“You’re just jealous.” Dean said clutching the pie like an irate child.

“Of course, you caught me. I’m just jealous of cheap pie.” Cas said with a bit of a smile.

“Yeah, because you can’t handle that I love pie as much as you.” Dean took a moment realizing what he just said. He looks from the pie to Cas, whom is standing there stock-still holding a bag of sweet potato crisps. This is not how Dean wanted to do it. Not over a random conversation about pie at the bodega on the corner. It was supposed to be special. _Fuck._ “Cas…”

“I love you too.” Cas says unmoving, clutching onto the food in his hands tightly. This was the first time either of them had said that to anyone they weren’t related to. They move slowly to the cash register, pay for everything, and leave the store quickly in silence.

Not 30 minutes later, after another bit of “couch action”, Cas lets Dean eat the cheap pie off his naked torso, amongst other activities. Cas was right, it wasn’t very good, but just this once it was the best pie Dean’s ever eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to Jesh14. And there's your damn "couch action" Jentothepen. ;)


	28. Chapter 28

The sounds of "Voodoo Child" permeate Cas's living room, as Dean stands playing on his bass. The acoustics in the barely filled apartment are better here, so Dean has taken to leaving his instruments here. It also saves him on rental space at BAM.

 

He's about finished with the pieces he's been working on, and plans on serenading Cas on the guitar for a bit, though his boyfriend hasn't looked up from his canvas for about an hour.

Cas's handles the brushes delicately as they move masterfully over the canvas. He's actually painting the sounds he's been hearing from Dean's music and translating them visually. He's also painted and sketched Dean quite a bit, though Dean doesn't know that... yet.

 

They've grown into a quiet domesticity in the month or so since they said the "L" word. There was a small hitch a week and a half in thanks to Dean's somewhat emotional constipation.

Cas hadn't had an anxiety attack since the one over Lisa. He's gotten into moods, which Dean helps him through when he can. It's hard, but it's important.

 

In the past, Dean's coping method for dealing with things were to internalise them and drink. So that moment of idiocy happened one Friday night.

 

“Dean, where's your boy tonight?" Ellen asks as she wipes down the bar. Ellen Harvelle is the owner of Harvelle's and Jo's mom. She's also Bobby's wife, though Jo isn't his biological daughter.

 

“His place. He's painting. Needed some quiet." Dean said sipping back the remaining whiskey in his glass.

 

"Things okay?" Ellen asked. Like Bobby was his surrogate dad, Ellen was his surrogate mom.

 

"Guess so, he's just been quiet lately. Ever since..." Dean trails off.

 

"Ever since what?” Ellen asks, glaring at the man in front of her knowing that he did something stupid.

 

_ Ever since I told him I loved him, though I didn't come right out and say it. And I haven't said it since. I've gone Han Solo on him. Fuck.  _ Dean gets up and downs the last of his beer. "I have to go."

 

“Go then, and put that wallet away." Dean gives a small smile to Ellen and heads home first to grab a few things.

 

"Behind Blue Eyes" blasts from the nearby stereo as Cas paints. He hasn't talked to Dean in two days. He hasn't spoken aloud all day.

 

He doesn't hear his front door open, but reacts when there is a hand that rests on his shoulder. Before Dean knows what's going on, he's flat on his back with a fist poised over his face.

 

“Dean?" Cas croaks out shocked.

 

Laying in the middle of a sea of paint, Dean looks up at Cas and says, "I love you."

 

Since that moment, Dean has allowed a few more "chick flick" moments than he would like. Ultimately though, Cas is important, so Dean does it. He also makes it a point to say three words on a daily basis.

 

Dean puts aside the upright bass and picks up his acoustic guitar. He starts playing the opening chords to Shinedown’s “I’ll Follow You" and starts to sing.

 

_ If I could find assurance to leave you behind _

_ I know my better half would fade _

_ And all my doubt is a staircase for you _

_ Up and out of this place _

 

_ The first step is the one you believe in _

_ The second one might be profound _

 

_ I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm _

_ Don't worry I'll keep you warm _

_ I'll follow you down while were passing through space _

_ I don't care if we fall from grace _

_ I'll follow you down _

 

_ You can have the money and the world _

_ The angels and the pearls _

_ Even trademark the color blue _

_ Just like the tower we never built _

_ In the shadow of all the guilt _

_ When the other hand was pointed at you _

 

_ Yeah the first step is the one you believe in _

_ And the second one might be profound _

 

_ I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm _

_ Don't worry Ill keep you warm _

_ I'll follow you down while were passing through space _

_ I dont care if we fall from grace _

_ I'll follow you down to where forever lies _

_ Without a doubt I'm on your side _

_ There's nowhere else that I would rather be _

_ I'm not about to compromise, give you up to say goodbye _

_ I'll guide you through the deep _

_ I'll keep you close to me _

 

_ I'll follow you down through the eye of the storm _

_ Dont worry Ill keep you warm _

_ I'll follow you down while were passing through space _

_ I dont care if we fall from grace _

_ I'll follow you _

 

_ If I could find assurance to leave you behind _

_ I know my better half would fade _

_ I'll follow you down _

 

It's not the first time they've done this, each practicing their own craft. It's not even the first time that Cas has heard Dean sing, but Cas finally looks up for once and smiles at Dean.

 

_Yeah, I'm lucky._ Cas thinks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jesh14!


	29. Chapter 29

"This sucks." Dean said stripping out of his gear. The heat and humidity had skyrocketed as of late, and when you're dealing with a fire in that weather, it was worse.

"You said it, brutha." Benny agreed, feeling like he'd left a puddle of sweat in his boots.

Summers were nearly unbearable in New York City. It was like walking around wrapped in a wet duvet. July felt terrible, but August was proving to be worse.

 _One more day._ Dean mentally repeated to himself. He just had to get through today, and then got a few weeks off for holiday. He booked it back after the first Skype conversation with his parents and Cas. There had been a couple more since, but Mary had also taken to calling Cas just on his own once she found out he was virtually alone family wise. She had pretty much adopted Cas by this point.

The hours of Dean's last shift passed without much fanfare; a few routine inspections and drills, but nothing beyond the blaze earlier in the day.

By the time Dean got home, he was only able to flip himself face first on to the bed.

"Ow." A muffled voice rang out. Cas sat up and glared at Dean. "Watch it with the landing, buddy."

"When did you get so snarky?" Dean asked turning towards his boyfriend.

"Must be the company I keep." Cas quipped.

Dean huffed and then yawned. "I'm still not happy about this."

"Tough. It's the only was we can bring Baby back." Cas shrugged.

"Baby." Dean sighed. They had a flight from JFK to Kansas early the morning. Though Dean had loathed flying, Cas mentioned how he had a space reserved for indoor parking as part of his apartment that had gone unused for years. It'd be a safe place to keep Baby. With such an offer, Cas was rewarded quite spectacularly - a reward which involved Dean's eager mouth.

With a great deal of moaning (not the good kind) and a lot of bribery (both of the pie and sexual variety), Dean agreed to fly out to Kansas and drive back. They also planned on taking a detour to Chicago to see Gabriel on the way back.

"Just go shower and get back in bed. We have to leave at an ungodly hour, and I know you'll already be a pain in my ass regardless."

"I'll always be a pain in your ass, you just have to ask." Dean said with a smirk and wink.

"Shut up." Cas said trying to be angry at his boyfriend's double entendres, but smiled too much.

"Make me." Dean said.

Cas leaned over and kissed Dean deeply, his hands grabbing harshly at the back of Dean's neck.

"I like this method of 'shutting up', I think we should do it more often and on various surfaces." Dean said pulling back to nibble along Cas's jaw.

"Oh, I've got a better method," Cas said pulling at Dean's t-shirt.

\----

The next morning found Dean and Cas at JFK international airport. Suffice to say, no matter the bribery, Dean was still unhappy. Luckily for him, he had a boyfriend with similar anxiety issues on a daily basis, who was able to help him cope, through both physical and pharmaceutical means.

After a quick handjob in the terminal bathroom and some Xanax, Dean was all set to fly to Kansas. Cas rolled his eyes, but smiled at how adorable his boyfriend was anyway.

Adam, Mary, and John stood in the arrivals lounge. Dean and Cas's non-stop flight had landed on time. They hadn't been waiting long when Adam had spotted Cas dragging a grumpy Dean. "There they are." He pointed out to his parents.

Cas looked up and spotted the Winchesters. Though he had only met Adam in person, he recognised all of them. He elbowed Dean who looked up as well. His face broke out into a smile as soon as he saw them.

Mary threw herself at her eldest son, squeezing him tightly, as Adam gave Cas a quick hug. Mary then moved on and held Cas close, while Dean hugged his Dad then Adam. John, who was never much of a softy, even gave Cas a brief hug. John and Adam took their luggage as Mary tucked herself between Cas and Dean. "So, how was the flight?"

Dean groaned, while Cas gave a slight chuckle. "I'm afraid nothing stops Dean's fear of flying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jesh14!
> 
> Also, I've decided to take Destiel writing prompts! Just message my tumblr. :)


	30. Chapter 30

The drive back to Lawrence took a little over an hour. The Winchester residence was on the outskirts of town on North Michigan Street. You wouldn’t even know the house was there, as it was set back on nearly 3 acres of land. A long, tree covered dirt drive took them to the house.

The house was old, Cas could tell as much, but it had been handled with care. It was white with green accents, with a small porch off to one side. There were a few balconies, and the house itself just seemed perfectly inviting. He could imagine the Winchester boys running rampant on the massive yard through the various seasons: sprinklers and water fights in the Summer, leaf piles in the Autumn, snowball fights in the Winter, and whatever activities you do in the Spring. Cas wasn't sure what you do on a big lawn having grown up in the city. There were more indoor activities than outdoor for him as a child.

As they approached the house, it was actually larger than he thought originally. There was also a garage off to the side; no doubt Baby was housed there. Cas looked forward to meeting her. He cast a sidelong glance at his boyfriend. Dean sighed and a big smile swept over his face. He looked happy and at home. Cas might have only known Dean previously in a New York setting, but Dean fit here. He could see the country boy that had been itching under the surface, finally free.

They stepped into the house through double doors and Cas held his breath.  A staircase stood right in front of him, with rooms spreading out in all directions. There was definitely a feeling of home and warmth, something he lacked growing up. There were fresh flowers on the entryway table, a coat rack with enough flannel to open a shop, and hardwood floors throughout. Having not ventured a few feet into the house, Cas could already tell that it was everything he could imagine as a setting for a perfect childhood.

"You boys will be in the guest room, which is Dean’s old room. Why don't you two get settled and then we'll head out and grab some lunch at Free State?" Mary asked, setting down her purse.

"Sounds good, thanks Mom." Dean gave his mother a quick kiss on the cheek and headed upstairs.

"Yes, thank you Mary." Cas said with a smile and followed Dean.

Framed pictures hung along the walls as they took the steps to their temporary accommodations. There were photos of Mary and John with their parents; their wedding; Sam, Dean, and Adam at various ages; some of John with Bobby dressed in fatigues; Sam with a dog; and so many more memories Cas wishes to which he were privy.

They took a right and went to one of the far bedrooms at the front of the house. It looked as if it was on the diagonally opposite side from the master bedroom, where his parents slept.

It was a nice room, the windows were large, letting a lot of light in. The house was airy, yet not cold. The bed was queen-sized, and there was a closet off to the side. A dresser and desk took up part of the room, as well as plush looking chair. It seemed as if Dean got his minimalism from his parents. The house felt full of life, but only the important things were kept.

"One bed?" Cas raised an eyebrow.

"You got a hug off John Winchester. One bed." Dean said as if the answer was clear enough.

They unpacked, moving quietly in tandem. Dean filled the dresser with their things, while Cas hung items in the closet. He noticed a couple of boxes marked 'Dean', and made a mental note to point them out to Dean later.

"I'll put this stuff in the bathroom," Dean said lifting their toiletries bag. They packed pretty light, intending to share what they could. Dean and Cas had three weeks vacation and they had planned not to waste a moment. They would spend a week in Kansas, then take their time driving up to Chicago, spend some time with Cas's brother Gabriel, and then take a lazy route back to New York City. Neither was in a rush to get back to Manhattan.

Dean came back into the room and flopped on the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “It’s my old bed, she never changed the mattress. It’s memory foam. It remembers me.”

“I can see you growing up here. I bet the walls were covered in posters of rock bands and cars and half naked women.” Cas said ruefully.

“You’re right about the rock bands, I had Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Kansas on that wall. But I had a ‘Bulleit’ poster over there, ‘Cannonball Run’ on the other side, and a ‘Star Wars’ on the back of the door. No half naked girls.” Dean said, his eyes closing again. “C’mere.” Dean reached out his hand. Cas crawled up the bed to join his boyfriend who summarily wrapped himself around Cas once he was close enough.

“You shouldn’t sleep. It won’t help the jetlag.” Cas said, closing his own eye.

“Don’t care. ‘m comfy.” Dean mumbled into Cas’s neck. 

And that’s how Mary found them twenty minutes later, fast asleep. After taking a quick photo (because they were just the cutest thing), she shut the door with a smile.

 

* * *

 

Dean was the first to wake, he was still fully clothed and wrapped around Cas. “Babe, wake up.” He didn’t know what time it was, but the light in the room had changed. He heard noise and music float up from downstairs, as well as the smell of a barbeque going. Cas just grumbled inaudibly. “Wake up, or you get tickled.” No response.

Dean shifted and lifted Cas’s (or rather Dean’s) Van Halen shirt, and skimmed the side of Cas’s torso with the back of his hand. Cas’s eyes immediately opened and grabbed Dean’s hand, “You do that again, I will strip off you jeans and go to town on the back of your knees.”

Dean just chuckled. “We fell asleep.”

Cas yawned and stretched, though still confined by Dean’s full body grip. “Your fault.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” Dean smiled. Cas, just rolled his eyes and started to get up. Dean reluctantly followed.

They headed downstairs to find Mary in the kitchen, while John and Adam were outside with the grill. “Sorry, Mom.” Dean said once she was in sight.

“Don’t worry about it, boys. Your dad didn’t feel like heading to town anyway. Why don’t you go out back and give him and Adam a hand, Cas can stay with me to finish up the sides and salad.” Mary said, giving them a warm smile. Dean kissed Cas and her, and then headed outside.

“I am at your disposal, Mary.” Cas said bowing his head a bit.

She gave a sweet and soft laugh, “Aren’t you just an angel…” She said beckoning him over. “Now, how are you at making pie?”

 

* * *

 

Dinner went late into the evening; well after the sun had set. They brought out lamps and candles to keep the bugs away. Kansas in August was nice, a lot better than in New York where it feels sweltering.

You could hear the wildlife and the quiet wasn’t overwhelming. The five of them sat outside around the old wooden picnic table laughing. “Oh man, when Sammy was five and I was nine, and we were dressed up as superheroes and playing outside. I was Superman and he dressed up in my old Batman costume and jumped off the shed because he thought he could fly.”

“I was about ready to kill you both for that one.” John said trying not to laugh.

“Why would he do that? Batman can’t fly.” Cas asked confused.

“I know! But I jumped first and the idiot followed. He ended up breaking his arm and I drove him to the ER on my handlebars.... good times.” Dean managed to get out between bouts of laughter.

“Good for you two, but not for me! I nearly had a heart attack when Jody phoned me!” Mary said.

“The best was when we then convinced Adam to do that. And he was dressed as Aquaman.” Adam tried to smack Dean, but everyone was laughing too hard.

There were more stories of childhood shared over the last dregs of dinner, until Mary got up to start clearing. “Please, let me help.” Cas said starting to stand.

“You sit your butt down, you are a guest. Besides, these two are on dish duty.” She said pointing towards Dean and Adam.

“Mom!” They collectively moaned.

“Hush. Or no pie.”

Dean immediately perked up. “Pie?”

“Yes, and I let Cas help.” Everyone went quiet in awe. Mary never let anyone help make pie, as her recipe was sacred. Dean was the only member of the family that she had shared the recipe with. This was well known to everyone, except for Cas. Adam sniggered as Dean leaned over and gave Cas a meaningful yet chaste kiss. He pulled back and smiled, as the three of them went to the kitchen; this left Cas outside with John.

John sat there looking at Cas, just sipping his beer. Cas looked anywhere but John. The older man then leaned forward and put his drink down. “Cas,” John started, and Cas looked to him, “I love Dean. He’s been through a lot, growing up too fast and having to take care of things while I was away. I know it wasn’t fair to him to have so much thrust upon his shoulders so young. He rose to the challenge though. He can also be as stubborn as me, sometimes even worse. Dean puts his whole heart into things, and looks after everyone else before himself. He never thinks he’s good enough, which is a bunch of bullshit. I’m proud of him. I’m proud that he’s my son.”

Cas nodded. “I am proud of him as well, John. He’s probably the best man I have ever known. I count myself lucky to even be in his company most times. Let alone be someone that he cares about.”

John took another sip of his beer. “I won’t have you counting yourself short neither. Dean, no matter what, always put a smile on his face. Most of the time it was him just deciding to be fine and make himself smile, no matter how bad things got. He’d fake it, just to try and do his best by everyone else instead of himself… but not lately. He’s happy with you. It’s something genuine that I haven’t seen since before he moved to New York. You did that, which is a blessing in and of it’s self. You are an angel, Cas.”

Cas blushed a bit, though it wasn’t visible in the dim lighting. “Thank you, John.”

“You hurt him, though…” He trailed off, as there was no need to be explicit. Cas understood.

“I never want to.” Cas said with conviction.

“Good, and if he ever hurts you, you let me know.” John said clapping a hand on Cas’s shoulder. He knew the guy didn’t have much in the way of family. He also knew that the look they had between them was the same one that he has with Mary.

Cas just nodded. John then leaned over and kissed Cas’s temple, as he stood up and went to grab another beer.

Family. That’s what the warmth Cas felt inside was. He wanted to cry, laugh, scream, and dance all at the same time. Before he could even say anything else, Mary and her sons came back out, arms full of pie, ice cream, bowls, and spoons.

Cas watched as John snaked his arms around Mary’s waist as she cut the pie. Adam dished them out, while Den complained loudly that he better not get the smallest piece. He then grinned at Cas, and bumped his shoulder with his own.

Yes, this was definitely what family and love were truly meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesh14 is such an awesome beta.
> 
> Also, here is the Winchester house in Lawrence: 
> 
> http://www.trulia.com/property/3199809623-340-N-Michigan-St-Lawrence-KS-66044


	31. Chapter 31

The next morning Cas padded downstairs in his paint splattered sweats and old t-shirt. Mary was already awake making coffee and humming softly to herself. It was "Hey Jude", Cas recognised it as Dean tends to hum it himself as well. Now Cas knew where he got it.

"Good Morning, Mary." Cas said softly.

She turned and gave him a smile, "Morning, Cas. Coffee?"

"Tea if you have it?"

"Right, Dean mentioned that. There are a bunch in the cupboard, take a look while I boil the kettle."

They fell into a silent routine for a bit. Until Cas suddenly found himself being pulled in for a hug from Mary. "I'm so happy you're here... another one of my boys." She whispered quietly. This took Cas off guard. There was the talk with John last night, and now this. It was just shy of three months with Dean, but this acceptance is something he was not used to let alone the fact he never expected it ever in his life. 

Cas closed his eyes and just held on tighter. Though he was never that close with his parents, he still missed them. They had a very different family dynamic in comparison to the Winchesters, but there was still love. This all-consuming tactile affection was something new. Whether it was from Dean, his parents, his brothers, or his adopted family, Cas would never get sick of being hugged by a Winchester.

"Thank you, Mary. I'm happy to be here as well."

She pulled back, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and patted his face. "I'm sure you've a long day ahead. I know Dean will probably want to give you a tour of the town in Baby."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Dean said wandering in while absently scratching his stomach. "Morning Mom." Kiss for Mary. "Morning Babe." Kiss for Cas. Then Dean wanders straight for the coffee and pours himself a mug.

"Mom, you gunna make breakfast, or are you going to pawn it off on me?" Dean asked.

"Well, when you put it that way, I'll have my eggs sunny side up." Mary replied with a smile.

 

* * *

 

With everyone fed and watered, they went on with their day. John went to the garage he owned in town 'Winchester Automotive', with Adam in tow. Mary went to the Lawrence Memorial Hospital, where she worked as a nurse, and Dean grabbed Cas's hand and led him to the garage. 

"The last family member you haven't met. Cas, meet Baby." Dean said opening the door to the garage with a bit of flourish.

The car was stunning. It was a 1967 black four door Chevrolet Impala sedan. She was in stunning condition; John must have cleaned and waxed her in anticipation of Dean and Cas's arrival.

Dean reverently placed a hand on her bonnet. "Hey Baby, I know it's been a while. I missed you." Dean continues to dote on Baby, while Cas smiles. He could make a joke, but he know how much the car means to Dean, so restrains himself.

After another couple of minutes checking her over Dean makes his way back to Cas. "You wanna go for a drive?" Dean asks.

"Of course." Cas responds, giving Dean a peck on the lips. His boyfriend just grins back.

Once Dean slides into the drivers seat, he also makes a pornographic moan doing so. Cas simply quirks his brow. Dean traces a hand over the leather seatbelt. Cas makes a decision, and slides his own hand over Dean's thigh. 

Dean just closes his eyes and tips his head back, "Cas." He breathes out.

Cas takes the opportunity and moves closer to lick Dean's neck, before he sucks on his pulse point.

Dean was already excited by the prospect of taking Baby for a spin, but Cas has brought everything to a whole new level.

Dean turns his head and latches his mouth onto Cas's. They wrestle with each other's tongues while grabbing onto one another's hair and pulling closer. Cas loosens one of his hands and snakes it under the front of Dean's shirt to rake down his chest. Dean shivers in response.

"Back seat." Dean is able to get out as he moves his mouth to Cas's jaw.

"Sh-shouldn't we put a towel down or something? I don't want to get her dirty." Cas manages to say as Dean has now rucked up his shirt and is sucking at his nipples.

Dean stops abruptly and looks at Cas, holding his face with both hands. His face is both serious and sincere. The fact that Cas didn't make any snide comments about Dean getting reacquainted with Baby, and now wanting to protect her. Yeah, he picked a good one. "I love you." 

Dean gets out of the car and quickly pops the trunk. There is a blanket kept there for all sorts of reasons. He pulls open the rear door and lays it over the back seat. Cas leaves his shoes and socks in the front footwell and climbs over the seat to lay down. Dean kicks off his boots and is on top of him instantly.

Their remaining clothes are soon stripped. Though the backseat of a 1967 Chevy Impala is spacious, two men at 6' and over can get a bit cramped.

They laugh a bit and get stuck trying to manoeuvre, which reminds them both of their first time together. Eventually, Dean fishes a packet of lube from his jeans.

"Shit, I didn't bring a condom."

"Dean, it's okay, I mean, I got tested last week, and I've never not used one." Cas doesn't mention that before Dean the last person he did anything with was a number of years ago.

"I have to get tested regularly, city employee and all." Dean says.

They look at each other for another moment and Cas just nods. Dean opens the packet and squeezes some on his fingers as he takes Cas into his mouth. He lets his finger circle around Cas's rim before pushing in. Cas moans at the feeling. 

Dean works it in and out until pushing a second finger in to scissor Cas open. "Yes." Cas breaths out, pushing himself down on Dean's fingers. "More."

Two turns to three quickly, and Dean eventually pulls out of Cas, who whimpers at the loss.

Dean slicks up his cock with the rest of the lube, and lines himself up with Cas's entrance. He leans over and kisses Cas deeply as he pushes in slowly. They both moan at the feeling. Neither of them had ever had sex without a condom, so it was a new feeling for them both. It meant something.

They eventually started moving, Dean rocking his hips gently into Cas, who wrapped his legs around Dean in a vain attempt to get him even further inside.

They traded passionate kisses, which devolved into clashing teeth and then just panting into one another's mouths as they picked up the pace.

Both of them felt so good, the feeling of each other with absolutely nothing between them was intoxicating.

"Fuck, Cas. Yes!" Dean nearly shouted.

"Touch me, Dean. Please." Cas said letting his tongue trace Dean's jaw.

Dean dropped a hand from Cas's shoulder to his cock. It was already slick with pre-cum, which Dean spread over the length and started to pump.

"Yes, Dean. Please. Faster. So close. Fuck." Cas moaned tipping his head back.

Dean complied as he sucked bruises into any nearby flesh of Cas's that his mouth could reach.

After a few more thrusts, Dean emptied himself into Cas with a loud moan of "Cas". His boyfriend wasn't far behind, only needing to hear Dean cum to do it himself.

They laid like that for a little, catching their breaths, until Dean pulled out. Cum leaked out of Cas and down his leg. "Good call on the blanket, Babe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Jesh14.


	32. Chapter 32

The days passed lazily. Dean gave Cas a tour of Lawrence, which included Winchester Automotive and Lawrence Memorial Hospital. As well as Dean's favourite food joints. They made out along the nearby Kansas River, both in the Impala and on the hood. Dean and Cas refrained from having sex at the Winchester homestead, which meant more time in the cramped backseat, as well as a blanket next to the car.

"Well that was a first." Cas said looming over Dean.

"Never had sex outside, Babe?" 

"Can't say that I have... Until now." He said with a smirk, then leaned over and kissed Dean.

 

* * *

 

 

The week went by pretty quickly and they soon found themselves packing up the Impala.

"I'm going to miss the both of you." Mary said, holding Dean and Cas in a hug. Mary had grown fond of Cas, she taught him how to cook and bake a few things in the short time they were here. Cas, in returned, sketched for Mary. One of her, that John immediately took to frame and put in his office, one of the house, and a portrait of Dean.

Mary let them both go with a kiss on each of their cheeks. Adam gave his brother and Cas a quick hug, as did John. 

"You call or text when you stop. Want to make sure the car runs okay." That was John's way of asking Dean to check in with them along the way.

"Course, dad." Dean said with a smile.

Cas pulled open the passenger side door and got in, Mary gave Dean one last hug and he then got behind the wheel.

"Ready?" Cas asked.

"Yeah." Dean said, and they pulled out of the drive with three Winchesters gradually getting smaller in the rear view mirror.

 

* * *

 

Gabriel was only about an 8 hour drive, so the first stop was was an hour or so in the wrong direction of Chicago. Instead, they headed west. They stopped in Manhattan not only because of the name, but Dean wanted to show Cas his old university stomping grounds. It was summer, but there were still a few sights. They drove a bit further and spent the night in Cawker City. In the morning they visited the largest ball of twine, and then went to Goodland, to see the massive Van Gogh reproductions. Cas marvelled at them, which made Dean smile.

They headed north passing Long Island. Cas laughed at that considering there wasn’t any water in sight. They stayed over night in Alma, NE near Harlan County Lake and had sex until the early hours of the morning. They passed the Archway near Kearney, and continued on i-80 until Cas saw a sign for the largest covered wagon. Dean laughed and pulled over near Lincoln so they could stop. 

Dean thought back to their first date, thinking how this is what he wanted, the open road, weird attractions, Baby, and Cas. He couldn’t have been happier.

By the time they got to Lincoln, they were able to have a quick tour of the Telephone Museum, and stayed the night at a motel just outside of Omaha neat the Strategic Air and Space Museum. They were both wiped from the day and opted to fall asleep in one another’s arms.

They continued on i-80 making a few random stops here and there. They saw the first train Jesse James robbed, and stopped at the Black Angel in an Iowa City cemetery. They drove to Davenport to see the Atomic Cannon and stayed at some random motel just across the state border in Illinois. They would reach Chicago the next day. That night Dean and Cas made love slowly spending more time caring about kisses and caresses than reaching completion.

Dean and Cas made the 3 hour drive to Chicago at a leisurely pace. Gabriel lived in a house near Oz Park, and when Dean rolled up to the house on North Orchard Street, he let out a slow whistle. “Nice digs.”

 

* * *

 

Cas got out and opened the gate so Dean could pull Baby into the empty driveway. Cas had texted Gabriel when they entered the city limits, so he knew they were close. Dean got out and locked Baby behind him while Cas closed the gate. They grabbed their bags and walked up the steps to the front entrance.

The house was a standalone building on a quiet street. It looked new, but still fit in with the charm of the rest of the houses. Cas rang the bell and a short blondish man answered the door. He had a lollypop in his mouth and a big grin. “Cassie!” He gave Cas a massive, bone crushing hug. “And you must be Dean-o!” He grabbed Dean and gave him a similar welcome.

“Dean, this is my brother Gabriel.” Cas said with a smile.

Dean extracted himself from the smaller man. “Nice to meet you.” For some reason Dean immediately regretted the decision to stop in Chicago.

 

* * *

 

 

The interior of the house was lovely, and reminded Dean of the wide-open spaces in Cas’s apartment. It was sparsely furnished, yet there was room for a piano in the middle of the living room. Dean and Cas were led upstairs to a massive guest bedroom (one of 4 guest rooms in the house apparently). _Who needs 5 bedrooms?!_ Dean thought to himself.

“Kali is at the restaurant already, and I’ve to head to the bakery even though it’s my day off. Make yourselves at home, the fridge is fully stocked, and there’s a grill on the roof as well. In the meantime, Cassie, can I borrow you for a sec?” Gabriel asks as Dean and Cas dump their bags on the king-sized bed that looks dwarfed by the size of the room.

“Sure, Gabe.” He smiles at Dean, and follows his brother. They head to sitting room just passed the kitchen. Gabriel immediately grabs Cas for a hug.

“Hey, little bro.” 

“Hey, Gabe,” Cas said in response.

“Good to see you.”  Gabriel says pulling back from his little brother.

“You too.”

“So, Dean, huh?”

“Yeah,” Cas said with a smile.

“Pretty easy on the eyes.”

“He’s more than that.”

“I know. I can tell.”

“Are you happy?” Gabriel asked, somewhere tentitively.

“Yes.”

“Cas…”

“I am, Gabe. For once, I truly am. I love him, and he loves me. I know it’s only been a few months, but as far as I’m concerned, this is it for me. Dean’s it for me.”

“And how does he feel about that? Is it the same for him?”

“I think so. His family definitely seems to think so.”

“He hurts you…” Gabriel started to say.

“Yeah, I know, I’ve gotten that talk from a few different people on both our parts.”

Gabriel just laughed in response.

“Cas?” Dean had wandered downstairs.

“In here.”

Dean came into the sitting room. “Dude, this place is sweet.”

“You should have seen the mansion we grew up in, you could get lost for days in that thing.” Gabriel said with a smile. “This is nothing compared to that.”

“You should see Dean’s parent home in Kansas, it was perfect.” Cas said pointedly. Dean blushed a bit at the comment.

Gabriel said his goodbyes as he headed to work, which left Cas and Dean with a big empty house. As soon as the front door shut, so did the door to the guest room where they were staying.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jesh14.
> 
> And this is Gabriel's house: http://www.trulia.com/property/3110104298-1870-N-Orchard-St-Chicago-IL-60614
> 
> Oh, and check out my new one-shot! http://archiveofourown.org/works/4193919


	33. Chapter 33

Hours later, Dean and Cas emerge from the house. Dean had never been to Chicago, and Cas hasn’t visited in years. They walk over to Lincoln Park and sat by South Pond. They had made plans to meet at Kali’s restaurant, _Kālarātri_ in Wicker Park.

After an hour or so meandering, they headed back to Gabriel’s house. They shared a shower, where Cas sunk into Dean while he was pinned against the tiled wall. Shower sex wasn’t so complicated after all.

By the time 6pm rolled around, they were dressed and mostly presentable. Cas was wearing a similar outfit to that from their first date, but with a tie, and had to bat Dean away. Dean wore a blazer and open collared shirt, which caused Cas’s eyes to rake over him salaciously.

Gab walked into the living room, after getting home an hour previously to shower and change. “Quit it with the eye sex. It’s embarrassing, and we aren’t even in public yet.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dinner was elegant, as was Gabriel’s girlfriend, Kali Sharma. Dean had never really been a fan of Indian food, but this was a whole new level of delicacy. Kali took the night off from cooking to join them, and though it wasn’t her hand, it was her recipe.

“This butter chicken is amazing.” Dean said around a mouthful of it. Cas elbowed him, but they both were laughing quietly.

“Thank you, Dean. It was my grandmother’s recipe. And do remember to save room for the Rasgulla and Chom Chom.” She said, taking a bite of the Beef Vindaloo.

Dean just looked confused. “It’s dessert, Dean.” Cas said quietly. The green-eyed man nodded.

With their bellies full and slightly drunk off of some kind of rice wine, the four of them took a taxi back to North Orchard.

They stumbled out of the cab, Cas nearly falling on Dean. “Watch it there, Babe.” Dean said grabbing on to Cas’s arm.

“I’m good, Honey.” Dean stopped. Not since that first time they had sex did Cas try and give Dean a nickname. The one Dean gave Cas was a derivative of the most important object in Dean’s life, the Impala. The one that Cas had just chosen for Dean conjured up all kinds of different images: Cas in the morning pouring honey into his coffee or tea; them experimenting with condiments and other toppings to lick off one another; the socks with fat bumblebees on them; and a myriad of other related moments and item. Cas loved bees. Cas loved honey. Cas loved Dean. This name, this was acceptable.

In response, Dean kissed Cas languidly. It was enough to make even bystanders hot under the collar.

“Oy, off my brother. I don’t need that mental image.” Gabriel said swatting Dean.

The two men parted with quiet laughter. “Gabe, you have scared me enough in this lifetime with the things I’ve seen and heard. So it’s only fair.” Cas said smiling, and not looking anywhere but into Dean’s eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” Gabe said walking up the steps to the house.

The four share a quick nightcap and retreat to their respective rooms. Thankfully Kali and Gabriel’s bedroom is one floor up on the other side of the building. This is good for both couples, as Dean would rather not hear Cas’s older brother just as much as he doesn’t want to hear them. And as far as experience goes, Dean and Cas have the tendency to be quiet loud.

Though drunken or even tipsy sex isn’t really the best course of action, neither Dean or Cas care at the moment, what they did care about was getting the both of them naked as quick as possible. They claimed each other’s mouths sloppily and grabbing onto anything they could. Cas rolls his hips into Dean’ groin and that’s all it takes for them to strip without and hesitation. They were that gone on one another.

  

* * *

 

 

The next morning, baked goods sit in the kitchen with a fresh French Press filled with coffee. Next to them is a note: “I know what you did last night, but thank God I remembered to sound proof the house. – Gabe”

Cas laughed while Dean blushed a bit.

The day was spent wandering the city. They walked along the lakeside, went to the Field Museum, Navy Pier, the Adler Planetarium. They had lunch at the Little Goat, and stared at the Bean in Millennium Park. They met Gabriel later on for a night game at Wrigley Field. By the time they rolled back to the house it was well past midnight, and everyone just crashed.

Dean and Cas had another day in Chicago before they had to hit the road, so they spent most of the morning with Gabriel at the bakery since they whole reason they stopped in Chicago was to see him. As there was pie involved, Dean had no complaints.

“Yo, Dean-o. Baby bro tells me you’re pretty good with pie.” Gabriel said carrying through a try of freshly baked croissants.

“Yeah, maybe. Though Cas may have picked up a trick or two from my mom.” Dean said, side-eyeing a now blushing Cas.

“Whoa! And to think, this is the same guy who burnt eggs on a regular basis.” Gabe said with big grin. Cas rolled his eyes.

“I was 10.” Cas crossed his arms.

“You were 20.” Gabe corrected him.

“Shut up.” Cas said with a little huff.

Dean ate a few too many slices of free pie, and refused to dish the family recipe for pie lest he die painfully from the sheer smiting look of Mary Winchester.

The bakery was only a few miles from the house, so Dean and Cas lazily made their way back after lunch. They had about a week left of their holiday, and wanted to take winding path back to New York City, with some time to spare. So when they made it back to the house, they packed and made love again before anyone got home.

Dean cooked dinner that night, nothing fancy, just some burgers on the barbeque they had on the roof. Though Cas swore that they were the best he’d ever eaten. Gabe even gave complements to the chef. Kali was home late from the restaurant, but would see them off in the morning. Everyone turned in somewhat early to be up at the “ass crack of dawn”, as Dean put it.

“Six am is not early.” Cas admonished him.

As Cas and Dean packed up the Impala, both Kali and Gabriel stood and watched. There were hugs all around. When Gabe went to hug Dean, he whispered, “Remember what I said,” and gave him a pointed look.

_The first night in town, while Kali and Cas went to the bathroom, Gabe leaned towards Dean and started speaking. “Dean, I know from the way Cassie looks at you and how he talks, that he thinks you’re it for him. I’m not trying to scare you away or anything, but once Cas latches on, it’ll take nothing short of breaking his heart to get rid of him. I love him, he’s my little bro, and I know he wouldn’t say anything, but for a long time, I was the only person he had. Now he has you, and by extension your family. If you take that away from him, I will kill you. And trust me, there are more than a hundred different ways I can do it.” Gabriel’s eyes narrowed and darkened, and he leaned back as Kali and Cas returned to the table. Dean swallowed the lump that formed in hi throat._

_Dean had not been serious with anyone in years, not since living back in Kansas, and when he did get the one or two threat like this from a loved one, he paid it no heed. This, though, was the first time that he was honestly scared. Something in Gabriel made him truly believe that things would not end well if he hurt Cas._

_On the other hand, Dean had nothing to worry about. He loved Cas, and yeah, as far as Dean was concerned, Cas was it for him too._

Cas and Dean piled into the Impala and backed out of the drive. Gabriel and Kali waved and turned back towards the house.

“He threatened you, didn’t he?” Cas asked.

“Yeah.” Dean confirmed quietly.

“I should tell you that he was the one who got me into Martial Arts, it was his hobby first.” Cas said with a small smile.

Dean didn’t say anything and turned up the Kansas tape currently in the deck.

 

* * *

 

 

They drove south. Dean wanted to hit up the Kentucky Bourbon trail for a bit, they wouldn’t have time to properly hit all the distilleries, but they could always drive back on another road trip. Gabriel had sent them off with coffee and pastries, so there was no reason to stop for breakfast. 

It was too early to see the Dillinger Jail, but they saw the Cows on a Tanker and the Russian Bomber and Watchtower along i-65 before they hit Indianapolis. They barely stopped, just to fill up the Impala. Their first real stop was outside of Amity to see the World Biggest Rocking Chair and the grave in the middle of the road.

“There are some weird things in this country. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see them all.”

“We’ll try.” Dean said as they continued down i-65. Cas smiled and reached a hand over to squeeze Dean’s thigh. The Eagles serenaded them as they headed to Louisville.

The checked into a place in town, and started the tour with the Evan Williams and Bulleit Distilleries. The next morning they drove to Jim Beam and Heaven Hill, they took a long lunch in Bardstown before heading to Wild Turkey in Lawrenceberg, where they also spent the night. The last leg was a stop near Millville for Woodford Reserve before ending up in Lexington. They played Bible mini-golf a little bit tipsy, while Cas proclaimed he was an “Angel of the Lord” and should win by default.

There were a lot of weird things once they hit West Virginia. The Paul Bunyan and Babe was a must stop, so was the Flatwoods Monster. Cas said Dean would make a good hunter. Dean said he could of “ganked it” easily.

Dean and Cas spent the night just outside of Cumberland, MD, but had dinner outside on Baby’s hood under the stars before they went inside. Dean spent most of that meal staring at Cas, whose eyes were mostly on the sky. He smiled thinking about how happy he was.

They stopped in Haggerstown and looked around, while they stretched their legs. Cas laughed at the giant crab on the roof, while Dean took his picture. Dean had even let Cas drive Baby for a bit during this trip, though he maintained sole control of the music. Cas just shrugged and turned up Billy Squier.

Cas turned the Chevy north to Virginia that led into Pennsyvania. There were more stops, more roadside attractions, more classic rock, and a stop for food near Allentown. They made their way back into the city after midnight to the sounds of Bob Seger.

They parked Baby in the lot near Cas’s apartment and dragged themselves upstairs. Cas and Dean stripped slowly and got into bed. It was good to be off the road, yet they both knew they’d miss it. Dean sighed as Cas came up behind him and snuggled close and both men were asleep in minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd by Jesh14 will get to it. :)
> 
> Also, check out my completely unrelated Destiel AU one-shot: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4193919


	34. Chapter 34

The sun streams through the windows, as Dean slowly wakes. They have a few more days left before reentering the real world.

“Cas?” Dean nudges the sleeping man next to him. “Cas?” Dean starts kissing the exposed bit of skin that is not hidden under the duvet. _Only Cas would want a thick blanket in summer._ Dean mused. 

There was a grumble next to him. "Sorry, but Castiel is sleeping right now, please leave a message."

Dean laughed and tried burrowing under the covers next to Cas. “Hi, this is your boyfriend Dean, I’d like to molest you a bit in bed, then continue in the shower until one of us can’t walk, or both. I’m not picky.”

Cas slowly opened one of his eyes. “I think I have a call to return.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean put on a pair of Cas’s paint splattered sweatpants and nothing else. Cas simply slipped on boxers and a Springsteen t-shirt. They kissed lazily as they walked to the kitchen.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Cas asked.

“You’re going to cook?” Dean asked cocking an eyebrow.

“No, I’m ordering. And you aren’t allowed to put on a shirt today, so you’re not cooking either.” Cas said pulling out the coffee grounds for the French Press.

“Oh really?” Dean said with a smirk.

“Yes, really.” Cas opened the freezer and pulled out vanilla ice cream.

“What’s that for?” Dean had come up behind Cas and wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man.

“No milk.” Cas shrugged.

They sat at the island with their feet tangled drinking coffee while they ordered breakfast online. Cas suggested they get a few things, so they only had to be bothered once today.

“You know I am going to have to go home at some point?” Dean said.

“You have clothes here, you don’t have to leave. Let Sam have the place to himself for a while.” Cas said, clicking through to the payment screen.

Dean had texted and called Sam a few times over the past couple of weeks. They even had a Skype with the whole family when they were back in Lawrence. Sam had mentioned he wanted to talk to his older brother in private when he got back. Dean wasn’t sure how to take it, but he said okay.

“I should really check in on Sammy, though.” Dean said taking a sip of his coffee.

“It’s early yet, and I’m sure he’s in class. Besides, you technically said we’d be back tomorrow, so we’ve a free day just for us.” Cas argued coyly trying to employ puppy dog eyes on Dean.

Dean relented and they spent the rest of the day either tangled in the sheets or each other.

 _Definitely a good call on Cas’s part,_ Dean though to himself as he rested his head on the bare shoulder of his boyfriend before he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it might be a little bit before my next update (like a week), but fear not, this is not abandoned. I just have a crazy week coming up and I wanted to at least post something for you guys.


	35. Chapter 35

The next morning Dean woke with Cas wrapped around him like an octopus. Dean smiled as he stared at the sleeping figure nestled close. Dean turned his head and kissed the mop of Cas’s hair. He heard a grumble.

“C’mon Cas, we got to get up.” Dean said, though there was more unintelligible noises coming from the half-sleeping figure that cuddled impossibly closer. “Cas.” Dean said with a sigh that was partially stern and partially amused. 

“No.” Cas managed.

“If you get up, I’ll make it worth your while.” Cas lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. “I’ll make you waffles.” Dean grinned.

Cas growled and flung a hand towards Dean, trying to slap him. As such things do, the two of them dissolved into a pillow fight that left Dean pinned to the bed beneath Cas. The blue-eyed man inched his way lower to Dean, who licked his lips. “I prefer pancakes.” And Cas, then immediately jumped off Dean and headed toward the bathroom.

“Tease!” Dean called after him, but soon followed as Cas had left the door ajar as the shower started to run.

 

* * *

 

 

They headed to Dean’s place on the subway not long after breakfast. Unlocking the door, they saw a hallway full of boxes. Dean first was confused, then a bit angry. “Sammy?!”

His moose of a little brother popped his head out of his room. “Hey, Dean.”

“Don’t you ‘hey Dean’ me. What’s this?!” Dean asked pointed towards the boxes.

“Yeah, that’s what I kinda wanted to talk to you about. A few of us are getting a place together.” Sam said scratching his head.

“A few of us?” Dean asked crossing his arms. Cas watched the exchange betwee the brothers curiously.

“Two of us.” Sam said quietly.

“Two of us?” Dean repeated, his eyebrow now raised.

“Jess and I.” Dean’s anger flooded away when Sam admitted it sheepishly.

“Really, Sammy?” Dean said with a grin worthy of a Cheshire cat.

“Yeah. I didn’t think you’d mind.” Sam said with a shrug.

“No, that’s great. I’m happy for you.” Dean did mind a little. He cared about Sam and worried about him constantly. Granted, he’s been okay for a long time, but there’s that little niggling feeling in the back of his brain that makes him want to control every situation. Without Sam in sight, it bothers Dean, but he knows that this is good for his little brother in the end. Also, without Sam underfoot, it meant more time for him and Cas alone.

“Congratualtions, Sam.” Cas said, stepping forward into the conversation and towards the taller man to give him a hug. He could tell Dean was having mixed feelings about this change in address for his little brother, and thought it best to try and diffuse any situation. Normally, Cas would shy away from any involvement, but having been so wholly accepted into the Winchester Clan, he can’t help but want to immerse himself in the family. Besides, no one minded if he did, and somewhat encouraged it (at least on Mary’s part).

“Thanks, Cas.” Sam said hugging Cas back. “Hey, how was the trip? How’re my folks?!” Sam asked changing the subject. All of them knew there was a argument and battle brewing inside Dean’s head, so it was best to change the subject for all involved.

After a few more hours of packing, Dean’s silence finally subsided and he vowed to be happy for Sam. They regaled the middle Winchester of stories from Kansas and the road, until Dean’s stomach grumbled. “Typical.” Sam said once he heard it.

“Shaddup.” Dean said, tapping up the box in front of him.

“Jerk.” Sam said with a tentative smile.

“Bitch.” Dean replied with a smile and nod.

All was good again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is uber short, I know. I just wanted you guys to know I haven't forgotten it, but things have gotten busier than I thought! I'll get a proper chapter up by the end of the weekend.


	36. Chapter 36

Sam settled into an apartment with Jess closer to Columbia on 110th and Fredrick Douglas Boulevard. It wasn’t too far from where Dean and Cas went to on their first proper date. Things seemed to go quite well for them for a few weeks now.

As for Dean, he shifted all his instruments into Sam’s old room, as well as some of the art supplies Cas kept at his. With Sam moving out, Dean thought long and hard about his relationship with Cas. Things had been great, they’d spent every night together since they got back to New York, splitting time between both apartments. They only gaps were when Dean had overnights at the station. As far as they were both concerned, life was good. And with Cas’s birthday coming up, Dean was about to make it a whole lot better.

He arranged for the day off, owing Benny a huge favour in return. They spent the night before at Cas’s, Dean pretty much just dragging himself in (using the spare key Cas had given him, as they traded keys two days after Sam’s departure) and flopped on the bed fully clothed. Cas came home hours later to find Dean exactly where he collapsed.

Cas stood there watching Dean sleep with a smile plastered across his face. Dean knew Cas hated outside clothes on the bed, but at this moment, he didn’t care. He was just in awe that this beautiful, green-eyed man was his. It was the best birthday present ever as far as he was concerned.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s creepy to stare at people when they're sleeping?” Dean’s muffled voice came from the bed.

“I’m sure you’ve said it on more than one occasion.” Cas said with a small smirk.

“Just get down here.” Dean said lifting his arm up to grasp wildly. It caught onto Cas’s sleeve, and he pulled his boyfriend down. Cas let out a surprised yelp, but Dean quickly wrapped himself up in Cas. “Better.” Dean said sleepily. Cas had to agree, much better. And they both drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Sunlight peeked through the windows and Cas stirred. He awoke with Den spooning him from behind and lightly snoring. He smiled to himself, as he nuzzled closer. Dean grunted and pushed himself closer. Cas could feel the erection on his back and sighed. Dean shuffled again, thrusting into Cas slowly. “I know you’re awake, Dean.”

The soft snoring had been replaced with a kiss to the nape of Cas’s neck. The shorter man let out a soft moan. “Happy Birthday, Babe.” Dean whispered as he licked the outer shell of Cas’s ear. Cas shivered in response.

Dean let his hands wander down the sides of his boyfriend, applying pressure to points that made Cas quiver and moan.

Cas quickly turned over and mashed his mouth into Dean’s. Their lips parted and they devoured one another as if they had no other purpose in life.

As they had fallen asleep fully clothed, layers were quickly stripped off, as their hands seemed to work of their own accord. Their lips parted briefly to take off their t-shirts, but they went right back to languishing each other’s mouths with intent.

As soon as the final layer between them was removed, they revelled in skin touching skin with louder moans and noises from before. They eagerly groped and grasped at one another like horny teenagers.

“Cas…” Dean managed around busy tongues. Neither man was going to last long at this rate since both were achingly hard. Dean moved his hand from where it was kneading Cas’s firm buttocks to grasp both their lengths. Pre-come had already dribbled down both their cocks and Dean quickly spread it over them.

Cas moaned loudly into Dean’s mouth and bit down on his boyfriend’s lower lip at the action. “Come on, babe.” Dean said pumping them in his fist. The feeling of friction was getting to him as well.

“Dean!” Cas shouted as he tipped his head back. Dean immediately latched onto his boyfriend’s neck with his mouth, sucking at a pulse point. Cas’s hands were digging into Dean’s back, but he didn’t care. Dean’s other hand was carding through Cas’s hair.

It was moments later that Cas fell over the edge and Dean followed mere seconds behind.

They lay there panting, with cum splattered over both their stomachs and Dean’s hand. Cas grabbed Dean’s not-so-clean hand and proceeded to lick it clean. Dean groaned and his eyes were transfixed. He had no words for the sight in front of him and wished he had an instant refactory period more than anything at the moment.

“Fuck, Cas…” Dean managed to choke out.

“Later,” Cas said, licking the last bit off of Dean’s finger with a pop. “Shower first.”

They dragged each other into the shower where they proceeded to grope and kiss each other even more. Actual showering was an afterthought as their skin began to prune. Furthermore, Dean had proclaimed that anything Cas wanted, he would get - being the birthday boy and all. Cas’s first decree? The whole day was to be spent naked. Dean had no problem complying with this request. They sat at the island eating a breakfast of fruit and whipped cream, and listened to Cas’s playlist on Dean’s phone. Currently the sounds of “Love It All” by The Kooks filled the kitchen.

They ate in companionable silence as the music filled the room, their legs intertwined. They kept glancing at one another, and blushing like teenagers. Dean suppressed a blush as he looked at Cas, who has a bit of cream smeared on his cheek. Dean leaned over and wiped it away with his thumb. Cas’ stilled and his eyes tracked Dean’s movement. He was focused on the digit as Dean sucked it into his mouth. Cas licked his lips and his eyes dilated.

“Closet.” Was all Cas said.

Dean’s eyebrow raised. “Really?”

“Now.” Cas said with a growl.

Dean didn’t understand Cas’s preoccupation with having sex in the walk-in closet, but he shrugged and grabbed the birthday boy and dragged him to the small room.

About an hour later, they lay on the floor panting and Dean had a new appreciation for the space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to Jesh14 for being my beta.


	37. Chapter 37

Summer turned to Autumn, which saw Cas back at school properly. His naked birthday spent with Dean was perfect, as was his gift: a key to Dean’s apartment. They had found it tiring switching back and forth between apartments just after that. Though Cas’s apartment was technically closer, Dean lived near an express line, so they tended to spend most of their nights further uptown.

The spare room, which was once Sam’s, now properly housed all of Dean’s instruments and tonnes of Cas’s art supplies. The room was sufficient enough for them to work without being on top of one another, unless they so desired.

Life was good for everyone. Sam and Jess had settled into a routine, as much as Dean and Cas had. The four of them met at least once a week for dinner, either at one of their apartments or out somewhere. It was always dependant on Dean’s schedule.

  
“We have to go.” Dean said sprawled on the living room couch with Cas mostly laying on top of him. The TV was on low in the background, it was some nature documentary that Cas wanted to watch.

“Why?” Cas asked, his brow furrowing.

“I got every year, besides, you don’t want to insult Charlie, do you?” Dean said, trying to guilt Cas just a wee bit. Cas and Charlie had been getting on quite well with one another, she proclaimed him her ‘bestie’ not long after they started hanging out. Cas had a soft spot for the redhead.

“Fine, but I refuse to wear something uncomfortable.” Cas sighed, and looked up at Dean.

“How do you feel about body paint?” Dean asked with a bit of a smirk.

* * *

Halloween came soon enough and everyone found themselves at Charlie and Dorothy’s loft. No one ever asked how she could afford a ridiculously massive apartment in DUMBO, and accepted it. It was an absolutely unreal apartment. Though she’s had it as long as her and Dorothy started living together, which raised other speculation. Dean never really cared enough to ask. He just liked coming over to play video games on the massive TV in the den that Charlie set up.

They took the A train to Brooklyn. Though Cas was reluctant with the costume choice, he did think the look of awe on the faces of some commuters on the subway that night were quite amusing. Dean and Cas got off at High Street and walked down past Front Street to Charlie’s place on Main Street. Dean just smiled the whole ride as he eyed up Cas. It didn’t take much convincing, especially since it was only a little body paint.

They took the lift to Charlie’s penthouse and the party was already in full swing once they opened the front door.

“Sup, bitches!” Charlie said in lieu of greeting. She was dressed as Han Solo, which meant Dorothy was probably dressed as Leia. She looked at Dean and Cas and her jaw dropped. “Holy Marvel! Now that is hot!”

Dean smiled and knew he picked the right costumes: he was dressed as Captain America while Cas was dressed as Winter Soldier. 

“Glad you approve.” Dean said giving her a hug.

“More than approve. if I weren’t gay, I’d totally want in on this.” She waved her hand over the two of them. Dean laughed and Cas just smiled. “So go forth and party!”

Music played, a mix of classic Halloween songs, some motown, and rock that seemed to fit perfectly for the evening. His entire squad was here, as well as Sam and Jess, dressed as Flynn Rider and Rapunzel from Tangled.

It was a good night for everyone, and Dean and Cas may have taken advantage of one of the many closets in the apartment, much to… well, everyone’s dismay.

“Keep it down next time!” Charlie shouted as she walked past the closed door. Dean and Cas, who were quite sweaty from their physical exertion, just smiled at one another.

“I’m glad we came.” Cas said with a wink. Dean just groaned at the pun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! GishWhes and my birthday got in the way, as did breaking my toe. Here's a short chapter just so you know this isn't forgotten. I should have a proper one that gets back into the story soon.
> 
> Oh, and this is Charlie's flat: http://streeteasy.com/building/the-clock-tower/16
> 
> And lastly, #WeLoveYouMisha


	38. Chapter 38

The weather started to turn colder as Winter started to seep into New York. Cas had already piled every blanket imaginable on the bed, which caused Dean to wake up in a pool of sweat most days. It was ridiculous, and combined with Cas’s body heat as well, Dean slept naked most nights. Neither of them complained about that fact.

The alarm went off as Cas burrowed further into the bed and Dean’s shoulder. The green-eyed man reached over and turned off the repeating guitar riff from Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water”. Cas just pulled Dean closer.

“I’ve got to get up, babe. Sorry.” Dean kissed Castiel’s black mop of hair and climbed out of bed. He tucked the covers back over his boyfriend, who just grumbled and pulled Dean’s pillow to his face. Dean stood there for a moment and smiled. He was truly happy.

Not 20 minutes later, Dean was out the door and walking towards the subway. His collar on the old Army field jacket flipped up against the wind, and a beanie covering his head and ears. Just before he made it to the entrance, his phone buzzed.

 **SAM:** _Dean, can you do me a favour and pick up my script? I’m just so swamped at the moment._

 **DEAN:** _Poor excuse. You’re lucky I’m such a good brother. ;)_

 **SAM:** _Jerk._

 **DEAN:** _Bitch._

Dean shoved his phone into his pocket and his earbuds in his ears. It was going to be a long day, so he led the sweet sounds of Van Halen carry him to work as Eddie Van Halen played “Eruption” as the train doors shut.

* * *

A few days later, Dean was already 17 hours into his shift when they got a call for a Collyer on the Upper West Side. The brownstone was on 83rd and Columbus and was beautiful from the outside, but once you opened the door, it looked like a dumpster.

Dean never understood how people could live like this. The house was filed to the brim with trash, stuff, and just everything. Hoarders were a crazy that Dean never understood. He never liked having too much, and this made him feel overwhelmingly claustrophobic. 

Benny found the resident trapped under a collapsed pie of National Geographics dating back at least 100 years all neatly bundled. He luckily had his phone in one hand, but it’s obvious he’d been there for a while, having soiled himself.

They had seen this before and knew what was going to happened as soon as they got the call. The person would most likely be hospitalised and the house cleared out. This was beyond a fire hazard, as you couldn’t even see the floor. The ceilings were vaulted, but even Ash, one of the shortest on the squad skimmed his helmet on the ceiling.

The man was loaded into the back of one of the EMS trucks, while they cleared some of the more hazardous stuff from the house. This was going to take hours, but a call was put in for specialised clearing and removal.

By hour three, Dean was done. He couldn’t take being in that house anymore. Thankfully, his phone rang. Dean stepped outside for air to answer it. The number was unknown.

“Hello, is this Dean Winchester?” A woman’s voice came though clearly on the phone. 

“Yes.” He said a bit gruffly.

“I’m calling from New York Presbyterian Hospital, you’re the emergency contact for Samuel Winchester?” The blood drained from Dean’s face.

“Sammy, what happened?” His knees started to tremble.

“If you could-“ Dean had hung up already and dashed away from the brownstone still in his gear. He spared a quick few words as Benny saw him running for a cab that consisted of “Sam” and “Hospital”. 

* * *

Dean arrived at the hospital and went straight to the emergency department. He was frantic. “Hello, I’m Dean Winchester, I got a phone call about a Sam Winchester?”

The nurse looked up at him, slightly taken aback by seeing a firefighter in full gear standing in front of her, and typed something into the computer. “Just wait here for a moment, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean was pacing when a doctor walked over to him, she was a clean cut African-American woman. “Mr, Winchester, I’m Dr. Raphael,” they shook hands, “your brother was brought in here because he OD’d.” Dean’s face went pale. He sunk into a nearby chair. “Because of his medical history, we know this isn’t a isolated occurrence. He’s being transferred to the Psychiatric Institute, because of his history of depression, drug abuse, and schizophrenia. He’s going to be held for an indeterminate amount of time at this point. Ms. Moore-“

“Wait, what happened to Jess?!”

“Your brother apparently missed his meds, had an episode, and crashed the car he was driving. He was fine, but Ms. Moore was taken in an ambulance. Not an hour later, he was found in a nearby house overdosing on a combination of opiates. I don’t know much more than that. I’m sorry. You weren’t on Ms. Moore’s contact sheet. Otherwise, this probably could have been partially prevented. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some patients to check on. You should be able to see your brother in a bit, but then he’ll be transferred. After that…” She trailed off because she didn’t know. Sam was in trouble, more trouble than ever before.

It was Dean’s fault. He didn’t fill Sammy’s script when his brother asked him too. He forgot. He forgot about Sam. This was Dean’s fault, all his fault.

* * *

 

He barely remembered answering Cas’s text hours later, asking where he was. They were supposed to have a date breakfast, as Dean was getting off in the morning before Cas headed to class. He was probably waiting at Cafe Orlin with two plates of cold pumpkin pancakes sat in front of him. Another failure on Dean’s part.

He just sat blankly staring at a empty wall when Cas came rushing in not an hour later.

“Dean!” Cas said frantically. His hair was more windswept than usual. He didn’t move as Cas came rushing over. Dean sat there unmoving, still in shock. Cas started to shake him, and Dean snapped.

“Fuck off, Cas!” It was the first time Dean had ever sworn at him, and it made him pause.

“Dean?” Cas said questionably. _Something was wrong, really wrong._ “Just relax.”

“No, this is my fault. I wasn’t there. I too busy playing fucking house with you. Sam was my responsibility and I failed him. I pretty much walked out on my brother and he went right back to where he was before I got here. Every time I try and have something for myself, it all goes to shit. I don’t get to have nice things. I’m too much of a fuck up. I tried for more and I messed everything up. I should have just banged you that night and left. I’m not worth more than that.” Dean was yelling at Cas, at himself, at the world, and Cas stood there trying not to cry.

“Dean, that’s not what happened. Don’t say that, you don’t mean any of that. You’re just upset…” Cas said, holding back tears.

“I do. This was a mistake. The past six months should have never happened.” Dean then turned and walked away, not even hazarding a glance towards Cas.

The blue-eyed man was in shock. He didn’t know what had just happened. He didn’t even know what happened to Sam, let alone his relationship with Dean. _What did I do?!_

Dean was gone. Everything was gone. Cas crumpled on the hospital floor and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know. This sucks. I've been writing all day and crying over this and Misha getting hurt. I hate to pile this on, but I want to finish this story.


	39. Chapter 39

Dean was drunk. He hasn’t been this drunk in years. It’s been a steady intoxication for about three days straight since he left the hospital. He kept vigil at Sam’s bedside until he was cleared and put into the mental ward at the hospital. His phone died sometime in the last few hours, he didn’t care. He hadn’t even called his parents. He hadn’t told anyone what happened to Sam. And he sure as Hell didn’t mention Cas.

His little brother was locked up and under observation, he had to argue with the school to get everything put on hold instead of outright dismissal. Jess was in the hospital recovering. And Dean was on suspension thanks to the stunt at the firehouse a few days ago where he chewed out Benny ad Bobby for something inconsequential — the toolbox Dean normally used was moved temporarily while Benny mopped and he forgot to put it back in it’s spot. 

Dean was yelling in Benny’s face when Bobby stepped in at the wrong moment. The punch landed the old man squarely in the jaw. It’s one thing to yell at your friend, another to punch your Captain, no matter if he was your surrogate father.  _Was it a few days ago?_  Dean couldn’t remember, the alcohol clouded everything.

Jack, Johnny, Jose, Jim, and Evan were his only friends at the moment; and their half empty bottles littered the apartment. There were empty beer cans strewn around everywhere except the spare room which had remained firmly shut since Dean first came home from the hospital. He didn’t need a reminder of Sam or of Cas.

He had a supply for a few more days before he had to venture out into the land of the living. He had been surviving on leftovers and pizza. The house probably smelled like a dumpster, let alone Dean himself. He had’t even gone beyond the kitchen, bathroom, and living room. He stared at the screen as movies played, but paid them no mind as he raised the bottle to his lips and drank.

He was alone.

Dean had also shut the door to his bedroom, not daring to venture in there. The sheets still smelled like Cas. He yelled at Cas, said such horrible things. He knew he wasn’t good enough for Cas. Everything he touched turned to ash. Dean was pure poison. He wasn’t worthy to have Cas or anyone. He couldn’t take care of Sam. He failed… again.

Dean took another swig from the bottle of Scotch, not even bothering with the pretence of glasses anymore. He was in his sweats and a ratty Black Sabbath t-shirt, the same shirt he lent to Cas months ago, but he didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to think about anything. Sam. Cas. Work. He wanted everything to disappear… or rather for him to disappear, as the world would be better off.

He just sat, staring at the TV. He didn’t even know what he was watching. Minutes or hours or days later (Dean wasn’t sure how long), he passed out again, another empty bottle dropping to the floor. 

* * *

 

Cas is sat alone in the middle of his living room. There are no lights on, his paints and supplies scattered about him from his last emotional outburst. A few canvases are torn, and paint is splattered and drying onto the nearly everything. Cas didn’t care. 

He didn’t know the last time he ate. He doesn’t know how long it’s been seen one of the nurses peeled him off the floor of the waiting room and gave him some water and a cookie. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he found himself in a taxi going back to his apartment — not Dean’s. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since Garth took one look at him and led him to his apartment.

Castiel’s face was blank. Solemn. His eyes were seemingly ringed in a permanent red, his eyes always on the verge of leaking. 

Fast forward to whatever day it was with Cas just sitting there and crying. The tears flow with no sign of stopping. When he tries to compose himself, he just starts again. He folds himself up and rocks back and forth to no avail.

He was alone. 

Always alone. So stupid to think that someone wanted me. _I was never loved. No one will ever love me. The person I thought loved me the most just threw me away like I was nothing. I’m not good enough to love. I’m not worthy enough to love. I’m nothing. Absolutely nothing._

Cas falls asleep in this position and wakes not feeling rested at all. He barely eats or drinks. He can’t even paint or draw or sculpt or even leave his flat.

The last coherent thing he was able to do was email the school and tell him that he was ill and did not have a return date. That was when he was back at the hospital having just eaten that cookie which tasted like ash on his tongue.

He just sat starting at the park in his destroyed studio crying. He tried listening to music when he first got home, but every song that came on reminded him of Dean. When Led Zeppelin’s All of My Love began to play, he nearly threw his phone at the wall. It smashed into pieces. The apartment has been silent since.

Mrs. Tran knocked on his door but he didn’t answer. It happened every so often yet Cas couldn't hear it in the unbearable silence that surrounded him.


	40. Chapter 40

Things moved swiftly in the world unbeknownst to Dean and Cas.

Bobby had called John after the incident at the firehouse. The hospital had also called Mary since there was no answer from Dean. They needed consent to move Sam to a different hospital for his continual treatment. 

John was furious and Mary was distraught. They took the first flight out to New York, where Bobby picked them up at the airport. Adam had squared away temporary leave from KSU due to family matters and was able to make the same flight.

Both men hugged as old friends do, “Stupid idjit.”

“Which one?” John asked gruffly, as Mary stepped up to hug Bobby.

“Take your pick.” Bobby said as he let go of Mary and hugged a crying Adam.

They were quite except for some sniffling as they made their way to the parking structure.

“Why didn’t he call?” Adam squeaked out.

“You know your brother,” Mary said pulling her youngest son close. “always blames himself.”

John threw his suitcase in the trunk roughly. “Well it has to stop.”

Bobby took them straight to the hospital, but John left almost immediately once he found out Sam was okay with his own eyes. Sam was being looked after by a host of staff as well as family. Dean had no one.

* * *

There was banging, it woke Dean from his position on the couch. At first he thought it was the movie he was watching, but it was stuck on the Netflix screen asking if you wanted to continue watching.

The banging continued, and Dean dragged a hand over his face. He stood up on wobbly legs and shuffled himself over to the door to wretch it open. There stood John Winchester.

Saying John was furious was an understatement, and Dean was either too drunk or too hung over to care.

His father didn’t say anything. He walked into the apartment, and closed the front door behind him. He took a quick glance around the hallway and further into the living room. The curtains were closed. Food containers and liquor bottles were everywhere. He crunched a few cans under-boot as he walked.

Dean walked past his father and picked up the nearest bottle to drink something. His mouth was dry. It was empty. Before he could reach for another John grabbed Dean by the scruff of his neck and dragged him to the bathroom. Dean wasn’t a small guy, but John was stronger and bigger. Dean cursed and struggled the entire way. He threw his son in the shower stall and turned on the cold shower tap. Dean screamed.

“What the f-“

“Shut your mouth. Sam is in the hospital and you don’t call. Your mother and Adam are there now. The only reason we found out is because they couldn’t reach you, so they called us. So did Bobby. You owe him a damn big apology, by the way. We flew right out. I would have gladly kicked your ass for that alone, but I know you too well, and you’d probably think you deserved it. Yes, you fucked up by not calling us, but that’s all you did wrong.” John said crossing his arms over his chest.

“No it isn’t! I didn’t fill his script. He broke because of me!” Dean yelled back as water rained down on him.

John sighed. He loved his sons, all of them. Dean was always difficult, though. Since he was the eldest, he took up the mantle to take care of everyone while John was away on maneuverers. He took responsibility for everything. Stupid kid never learned that it wasn’t his job in the first place. If anyone was to blame it was John, and the elder man knew that. No matter what he did, he could never shake Dean of this complex.

“You are not his nursemaid, Dean. He knew he was low, but he was too busy getting caught up in things to remember to take care of himself. He’s 26 years old, not 5. He should take care of himself and not rely on you or anyone else. It is not your job. It should have never been your job, even when you were younger. That’s my fault, and will regret it until the end of time. But Sam is a grown man. He fucked up, not you. He chose to shoot himself up with that garbage, not you. You didn’t take him to that crack den. You didn’t give him the needle, and you certainly didn’t make him OD. He did this to himself because he got stressed and let things slip. He should have asked for more help. Did you know he stopped going to therapy? We didn’t. No one did. He got too wound up and this was going to happen one way or another whether you were involved or not. Did you know that he’s actually been off his meds a lot longer than when he texted you? The only reason he did is because Jess found the empty bottle and asked. He used you as a cover. So stop blaming yourself. You did more than what was asked of you already, Dean. You always do.” John paused as the cold water continued to rain down on his eldest son.

It was quiet as both men stared at each other. Suddenly a thought crossed John’s mind. “Dean… Where’s Cas?”

Dean had sunk down to the bottom of the tub and he didn’t even look up when he spoke. “Gone.”

He crouched down until he was eye level with his eldest son. He knew Dean probably did something stupid and rash, he was his son after all.

“Okay, whatever you did to Cas, now that is your fault. I’m sorry, I love you, son, but you’ve got a martyr complex a mile long.” John shut off the water and crouched down. “Now strip and take a proper shower, I’m going to make you coffee and a sandwich, and then you’re going to tell me everything.”

“Dad.” Dean said in a huff. 

“Now.” John barked.

As if on reflex, Dean jumped and started to strip. John left the bathroom, but kept the door ajar. Not that he didn’t trust Dean, but the kid was stubborn as the day was long.

* * *

John pulled out his phone and called Mary while Dean was showering and told her everything.

“Dean…” She said with a sigh.

“He’s your son.” John said as he cleared up the food containers and bottles in the living room.

“And guess where he gets that attitude… so don’t you dare.” Mary said sternly.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I just…”

“Now don’t you start. Just make sure he’s fed, dry him out, and give him something for what I’m sure is the worse headache he’s ever had… until I talk to him.” John breathed a laugh.

“I love you, Mare.”

“I love you too, John.” There was a pause. “Adam is going back to Bobby’s since visiting hours are over. I’m going to head over to see our boy.”

“You got the address?” John said tying off the bag.

“Yes.”

* * *

Garth opened the glass doors to a very irate looking blonde woman.

“Hello, how may I help you?” He asked kindly.

“I’m here to see Castiel Novak. My name is Mary Winchester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I'm leaving it for now. I might write more today, but definitely this week.


	41. Chapter 41

“Winchester? As in Dean?” Garth asked, tipping his hat back.

“Yes.” Mary sighed, “He’s the eldest idiot. Especially as of late… Is Cas here?”

“He hasn’t left since he got back. That was about a week ago or so, I’m not exactly sure.” Mary turned to the voice. A short Asian woman stood there bundling up her coat. “Won’t answer the door. I hear noise every once and a while, so I know he’s not dead.” Linda Tran looks at Mary. “He could use his mom.”

Mary nods, and is grateful that the woman understands. “I should have been here sooner.”

“Garth, give her the spare key.” Linda says with authority. Garth quickly turns to get the spare key from the lockbox.

“Linda Tran.” She says extending her hand.

“Mary Winchester.” They shake, “and thank you.”

Linda just nods and walks off as Garth returns. Mary heads to the elevator quickly, hitting the button for Cas’s floor.

* * *

Cas is in a pile of materials, still in his trench coat. He and the room are covered in paint. He is staring at the exacto-knife in his hand. A part of him knows that it isn’t the answer. He knows he’s better than that. The other part of him just wants to stop hurting. 

There is noise from the front door, it sounds like someone unlocking the door. A small part of him wishes that it were Dean, but he knows it isn’t. It will never be Dean. Never again.

“Cas?” A familiar voice calls out. He can’t place it, but he knows it. There are footsteps coming closer. “Oh, sweetie, no.” Suddenly he is engulfed in a warm embrace and the knife is tossed aside. He closes his eyes and breathes. He knows that smell.

His eyes flutter open as hands reach for his jaw. Mary Winchester stares at him with the same green eyes that Dean wears. “Castiel.” He just starts to cry all over again.

* * *

Mary holds him as he grasps her coat tightly, rocking Cas back and forth. She sings to him softly. “Hey Jude” should make Cas cry further as it reminds him of Dean, but instead it calms him, as does Mary’s presence. 

She kisses the top of his head, and speaks softly. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay. And fed.” Cas still hasn’t spoken and just nods.

She guides him to the bedroom. Mary knows the layout from the virtual tours that the boys had given her in the months past. They get to the bathroom, and she takes his coat. “You do the rest, I’m going to get you some fresh clothes and makes some tea. Come to the kitchen when you’re done. Don’t be long, and don’t make me come and get you.” She said sternly.

Cas was still despondent, but nodded. She put her hands on her hips, “Castiel, did you hear me?”

He looked up at her, he knew better than to trifle with the matriarch of the Winchester family. He also saw a lot of Dean in front of him. “Yes, ma’am.” He croaked out, his voice weak from crying.

She placed a kiss on his cheek and patted the other, “That’s my boy.”

* * *

 

The dark circles and haunted look on Cas’s face scared Mary. She loved Cas as if he were her own, and to see him like this hurt. Dean was a damned fool. She was definitely going to tear her eldest son a new one once she saw him. 

She didn’t want to look at the state of the living room, or think of how she found Castiel with that knife in his hand. Yes, he was just looking at it, but even the inkling of what he might have done makes her shudder.

She hangs up her coat on the rack near the door and walks to the kitchen hoping that there is something edible.

* * *

 

Dean finally steps out of the shower. He sees clean clothes piled on the toilet and changes into them once he dries off. His head is pounding, as he wipes off the steam from the mirror. He looks terrible. He doesn’t even want to look, as he disgusts himself, but he deserve it, he deserves it for what he did to Sam and to Cas. 

“Stop it.” His father says leaning against the doorway. Dean looks to John.

“I know what you’re thinking. And you’re wrong. How do I know? Same way I knew you weren’t picky with what gender you dated. I was more pissed you took so long to tell me. Did you really think that something’d upset me like that? Who you love is your choice, not mine. As long as you’re happy and not hurting anyone – yourself included – I don’t care. Though right now, you’re doing a Hell of a job torching everything you built.” John said plainly.

“Dad.” Dean breathed and looked at the older man.

“Come eat, and we’ll talk.” John clasps his hand on his son’s shoulder and squeezes. 

* * *

 

The smell of chamomile is in the air as Cas walks to the kitchen. There is some soup as well. Mary looks up as she pulls out some crackers, and smiles at Cas. He walks gingerly into the room like a frightened cat, as she strides over and engulfs him in another hug. He holds on for dear life. 

“Sit and eat. You’re like a stick. I bet you’ve not had anything in a while.” She says softly. Cas just nods and sits at the island.

“Sam is in the hospital.” Cas looks up, his eyebrows almost to his hairline. Mary then tells Cas everything that happened with Sam, and then what happened at work with Bobby, and then how John found Dean. Cas listens quietly, eating soup and drinking tea. “John is there now. Threw the boy in the shower. He’s probably talking to him right now. What happened? What did Dean do?” Mary asked, reaching out to hold Cas’s hand.

Cas then proceeded to tell Mary what happened at the hospital and afterwards. “It was my fault.” He said trailing off at the end.

She shook her head, “You two are as bad as each other! What Dean said was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Dean is just… Dean. He’s a self-sacrificing, stubborn, emotionally-stunted jackass.”

“Mary?!” Cas said in shock.

“What, he’s my son. I love him so much, but I also know that he puts everyone before himself and doesn’t even think he deserves a pat on the back when he runs into a burning building and saves someone’s life.” She takes a sip of her tea and continues, “That is until he was with you. For once I saw him happy, like he felt deserving of something, of someone who loved him. And you, you deserve that too.” She squeezed his hand. “We’ve talked enough that I count you among my boys, you’re my son. I know that you’re it for Dean, and he’s it for you, even if the both of you idiots are too blind to see it for yourselves. Don’t let Dean get in the way of both of your happiness.”

Cas sat there trying to process everything Mary had just said. He was in complete shock for a myriad of reasons. He didn’t even know what to do first.

* * *

 

"I love you, but you're an idiot." John says simply staring at Dean.

"Thanks, tell me something I don't know." Dean said wearily.

"You better fix this." John says.

Dean nods. _If only it were that easy._

* * *

 

After he ate, Mary helped him clean up the kitchen and living room. They did the best they could, but Cas was going to have to get some professional help with the paint on the floors if he wanted them spotless. He honestly didn’t care that much.

Mary finally took her leave, as she had to go check on her other sons, namely Dean to knock some sense into him as well, despite the fact John was already attempting to do so.

She kissed Cas again on the cheek, “I know you’re probably going to brood, and think things over for a while, but don’t take too long… for both your sakes. In the meantime, just call me if you need to talk, okay, sweetheart?” Cas nods and offers her a small smile; she beams at him in return.

* * *

Days pass, which turn into weeks. It’s near Thanksgiving. Dean and Cas had planned to go to Kansas for the holiday, stopping in Chicago along the way there or back. That was the plan, save for the fact neither had spoke to each other since the hospital.

Mary, John, and Adam stayed for another few days, finally getting Sam discharged and took him back to Lawrence. Jess was fine, but her parents had refused to let Sam see her, but allowed a note.

Dean went back to work. He took over probie duties much to everyone’s chagrin and Bobby’s orders. He was in the doghouse, and he knew it. He’d have to earn back privileges. He's also spent countless hours staring at his phone trying to figure out what to say to Cas. He's walked past his building from afar. He has also taken to wearing whatever smells like Cas. He hasn't ventured back to his bed, and spends every night on the couch. It's too big of a space for one person.

Cas went back to teaching, and his students were grateful for his return. He still hadn’t picked up a brush or pencil. He hasn’t created a new piece of work in weeks, not since everything with Dean. Other than that, his life went back to the simple emptiness it was before. He tried calling Dean, or at least, his finger hovered over the call button. He also walked by the firehouse once last week, but left quickly. He couldn't see Dean. It'd be too hard. That was the moment that Cas gave up. If Dean hadn't come for him, then it was over. He would have cried himself to sleep that night if there were any tears left.

* * *

 

It’s late on a Wednesday night, later than Cas would usually be out, but he tried to paint again at school. Unfortunately, he just ended up staring at a blank canvas for 3 hours. He was tired.

His eyes are glazed over as he blinks away sleep. The C train is mostly empty, the doors open at 59th Street and he gets off to stop at Whole Foods as his refrigerator is bare.

Cas is stopped short once he steps off the train as Dean is standing right in front of him, carrying his duffel bag, waiting for the train.

They stand there on the platform staring at one another for what must be an eternity before either of them speak.

“Cas…” Dean says quietly.

“No, Dean. No.” Cas says, panic subsiding as anger takes it’s place.

“Cas.” Dean says again.

“Shut up. You have no right. Absolutely no right to talk to me. After— after… No. Goodbye, Dean.” Cas started to walk away, but Dean grabbed his arm. Before Dean knew what happened, he was flat on his back on the platform with Cas’s arm at his throat and crouching over him.

Dean knew Cas was skilled, but never experienced it, at least in this context, before. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. So… so badly. I took it out on you. It’s not much of a life with out you. I broke you, but in reality, I’m the one who needed saving. You did that and I pushed you away. I know you’ll never forgive me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life doing penance for that. It’s not much of a life with out you, to be honest. You’re the only good thing I ever had. You deserved better. You deserve better than me. I’m so sorry, Cas.” Dean then started to cry. Cas just stared at him.

Cas gets up and just walks away, just like Dean did those weeks before. This time, it’s Dean lying on the floor crying.


	42. Chapter 42

It’s gotten colder, and snow has fallen all around the city. Christmas is a few days away, and the entire city seems to be in the holiday spirit, well, almost everyone.

Since Dean had booked off for Thanksgiving, he was working Christmas. It didn’t matter that he lied to his parents and said he was working. It didn’t matter that he told Bobby that he was going to Kansas. For once he outsmarted them, and sat and drank for a few days. It was just after seeing Cas, and it was too much. He couldn’t do anything or deal with anyone. He had needed to be alone.

After those days of wallowing, Dean decided to move on, or at least try to. He wasn’t going to go out and get laid, but he wasn’t going to dwell on Cas anymore. It was pretty clear how the blue-eyed man had felt. Dean had the bruises to prove it. He knew he deserved that and more, but he was determined not to spiral backwards.

At the behest of both Bobby and Benny, he started seeing a psychologist. Not just for what happened with Cas, but for everything. The guilt he felt for not saving everyone, and all his other issues. Dr. Pamela Barnes wasn’t the most conventional of doctors, but she worked for Dean and was able to cut through the bullshit.

_“I’ve known you three weeks and you are some piece of work.” She said in their last session._

_“Thanks?” Dean said questionably._

_“It wasn’t a compliment, pumpkin.” She said plainly._

It had been slow going to for Dean overall. He spoke to his parents, neither of whom mentioned Cas, but they kept him updated on Sam, who had been spending time in an outpatient program in Lawrence. He was doing better.

Jess had eventually forgiven him, and wanted him to come back, despite her parents’ protests. They had been talking, and decided that Sam should cut back on his course load, and take a few extra semesters to finish rather than killing himself. Everyone, including his professors, agreed. He was beyond lucky in that regard.

Sam also apologised to Dean for everything. He had decided, along with everyone else, that he would return in the spring, but not rely on Dean as much. Dean, albeit reluctantly, agreed. Dr. Barnes would have almost been proud.

* * *

 

After the confrontation on the platform, the floodgates seemed to open. Cas was painting and sculpting with vigor. The even agreed to host a show of his new work at the university come Spring. It was a new dawn. 

He was on the C train headed downtown to transfer to the A to take a flight out to Chicago to spend the holiday with Gabriel. He still hadn’t told his brother what had happened with Dean, as he wished to do it in person. Also, it’d be easier to restrain Gabriel from coming after Dean with a baseball bat.

It would have probably been easier to get the plane from LaGuardia, but Cas didn’t mind the ride out to JFK. He gets off at 59th Street, and is nearly bowled over by a young girl carrying a cello that is too big for her.

“Sorry!” She says as she passes Cas to step on the train.

Cas just stand there as the girl struggles to get the instrument on the somewhat crowded train. She looks at him, and offers a week smile as the doors close.

He thinks of Dean.

It’s been weeks since he actively thought of Dean. _Not since… 59 th Street. _He though to himself, which is the station, though not the platform, where he stood.

The A train comes and goes a few times as he continues to stand on the platform.

Everything starts running through Castiel’s head. Those first meeting with Dean, living together, the road trip, the break up, the last time they saw one another. Yes, Dean was stupid. He was both self-less and selfish at the same time. He never gave Cas a choice at the hospital, and Cas just reacted on the platform. Mary was right, Dean was a self-sacrificing, stubborn, emotionally-stunted jackass. But then again, so was Cas. They were as bad as each other.

_Don’t let Dean get in the way of both of your happiness._

Mary was right. Cas was existing, but he wasn’t happy. Yet, it wasn't just Dean getting in the way, he was doing it himself.

He starts walking slowly towards the stairs until he spots the uptown A train starting to approach on the other platform. He grabs his bag, and full out sprints to make the train.

* * *

 

Dean was home having an early dinner; it’s one of his last days off before he’s on shift for the holiday. He still hasn’t been able to sleep in the bedroom, but he jokingly told Dr. Barnes that is was his New Year’s Resolution. She rolled her eyes. 

He was taking his plate to the kitchen when he heard a frantic knock at the door. _It was probably Lisa, wanting him to watch Ben or something._ He thought to himself.

He doesn’t bother with the peephole, and opens the door to find Cas.

They just stand there staring at each other. Cas is panting slightly, a little out of breath. Dean’s eyes dare not rake over him, and keep unblinking contact. It had been a month. A month since the platform. A month since Cas left him and said goodbye. A month since Dean had gotten what he deserved for destroying the best thing he had ever had weeks prior.

Neither is sure who moves first, but their lips collide in a harsh kiss. No words are exchanged as Dean drags Cas inside the apartment. The door shuts and Cas drops his bag, finally allowing his hands to touch Dean.

Music drifts in from the living room, if either were paying attention, the would have laughed at the irony of the song… “Lonely Boy” by The Black Keys.

Hands are everywhere, as their tongues wrestle with each other. Both men are hard as Dean presses closer into Cas. The friction make them both moan. Their mouths don’t separate as they start thrusting against one another completely clothed.

It’s desperate and frantic, but feels so good for both of them. Cas grabs onto Dean’s butt and squeezes, trying to pull him infinitely closer. Dean’s hands are both in Cas’s hair, before one trails down and grabs onto his shoulder. 

The rut faster and faster, the only sounds are their moans and the noises from banging against the front door.

Suddenly, they both tense up and spill in their clothes near simultaneously. The kisses start to peter off, becoming more languid until they stop all together. Their mouths separate and Dean rests his head on Cas’s shoulder, while Cas tips his head against the door. They are silent as their breathing returns to normal.

Without opening his eyes or moving, Cas finally speaks, “Did you paraphrase Rihanna the last time we spoke?”

“No.” Dean says quietly, trying not to smile. He’s not sure what any of this has mean, but he’s too afraid to move.

“I’m sure you did. That’s pretty far out of you musical wheelhouse, Dean.” Cas says evenly. He opens his eyes and tilts his head down to look at the other man.

Dean still doesn’t move. “I listened to a lot of crap when I was drunk and wallowing.”

“I like that song.” Cas responds as if this moment weren’t heavy in emotion.

“Cas…” Dean breathes, as he opens his eyes and moves. He stands up, looking his former? current? boyfriend in the face. There are still scant inches between the two.

“No. It’s done.” Cas says stoically.

Dean nods solemnly. He knew it, he knew that this was goodbye. Just getting out what there was left. The last bit of whatever breaks in Dean. He thought he was over Cas, but he was wrong. A tear starts to roll down his face. 

Cas’s brow furrows for a moment, then his eyes go wide, realizing what he said. His hand flies to Dean’s face.

“No, you Assbutt. The fight, the fight is done. Not us. Never us.” Cas says softly, wiping away the tear. Dean just looks at him. “We’re too stubborn for our own goods. Next time, I’m handcuffing you to me so we don’t waste months on being stupid.”

Dean just stands there and speaks without ever processing what has just happened. “Kinky.”

“Dean…” Cas says not amused in the slightest.

Dean taks a deep breath and closes his eyes. He leans into Cas’s hand as it strokes his jaw. His eyes flutter open. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, and I’m sorry too.” They smile softly at one another.

“Yeah, nice moves by the way Chuck Norris.” Dean says with a smirk.

“Shut up.” Cas says as their lips find one another’s again.

* * *

 

 

The Next Six Months: An Epilogue...

 

It’s not an overnight fix. Both Dean and Cas have issue to work, most of them involving communication and trust. Cas comes along to a few of Dean’s sessions with Dr. Barnes, which helps. After Dean’s birthday, which they celebrate in a similar fashion to how they spent Cas’s, Dean suggests living together. It’s another month before Cas agrees.

He contemplates subletting his apartment, as Dean said it’d be stupid to sell. Cas didn’t care about it very much and wanted to sell it, but Dean flat out refused. It caused another argument. This time, they did use the handcuffs. After yelling at one another devolved into sex, which was followed by rational conversation, Cas explained that he didn’t need it anymore. It was part of a life he didn’t want anymore. Dean conceded, and Cas ended up selling it. He uses the money to buy a loft space downtown where they keep their musical instruments and art supplies.  The loft was massive, and they ended up spending most of their time there.

Once Sam moved back, him and Jess moved into the old apartment uptown, which caused Dean and Cas to properly move into the flat on Walker Street. Dean hated to admit it, but he liked the massive space, especially since it had a private garage for Baby.

By the time May comes around, it’s nearly a year to the day that they met. Cas doesn’t think much of the day, having been preoccipued with school.  When the actual day comes around, he leaves Pratt at his usual time, and walks over to the C train.

He’s searching his pockets for his phone and doesn’t notice the man standing on the platform. He looks up to see Dean in the same clothes he wore a year ago, except there’s no upright bass. Instead, he’s down on one knee holding a ring. “Evening.”

“I’d make a joke about overcompensation, but in reality, the dedication to drag that thing on the subway, leaves me with a great deal of respect for you rather than anything.” Cas says evenly. 

“Was that a yes?” Dean asks nervously.

“Do you want a hand?” Cas says smiling. 

Dean stands and smiles as a breathy "yes" coming from Cas. They kiss as the C train pulls into the station behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas's new place: http://streeteasy.com/building/81-walker-street-new_york/1 (right near the C train!)
> 
> Well, that's it. I hope you guys liked it. Many thanks to Jen and Jess, who are there for me daily. I love you guys. 
> 
> Other than that, I'm sure I'll have other stories soonish, though maybe not as long...

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumbler at: http://freckles-n-feathers.tumblr.com
> 
> I love getting your comments and kudos! Best part of my day! Thank you!
> 
> You can also buy me a coffee if you enjoyed this, but don't feel obliged. :)  
> http://ko-fi.com/A0554W9


End file.
